Letters for Jacob

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I journeyed through middle age judging that which I was told to fear. 

I missed so much good. 

In early life, trusting so readily, could have swallowed me. I’m thankful, for the added chances. I’m thankful for another breath.

When revisiting judgment universe, on occasion, I become angry at the world. I don’t want to go there. Its like visiting a smelly grandmother who doesn’t have cookies to share.
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If I’m smelly, smile gently and say, “Mimsi, you stink.”  
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Oh yes ~ There will always be, “One, more thing.”
My mother, your great-grandmother, Babe, use to say, “The interpreters of The Bible were wrong. The statement of ‘The root of all evil is money,’ but I say, it is the lack of money, that is the root of all evil.” Tumbling her beliefs in my mind for a long time, led me to understanding. Yes, I know she is correct.

Star Children (TEST) By drboylan.com/starkididqstnr.html

http://www.drboylan.com/starkididqstnr.html

My Excitement! Creating A Book

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It’s the end of January and Sara, my editor for my second novel, will be finished with the final edit.. I’m patiently biting my nails, and my stomach’s butterflies have turned into bats, as the last edit will have lot’s of red ink. I expect that, but I’m hoping for her to say, “Good job. And, with a few changes, I think it’s a “go.” Then, it will be ready for publishing. I am going to change the title as Sara and I have previously discussed this matter.

My idea for the novel on spiritual warfare began in fall 2009. In 2010, the thoughts were written on paper (the best way), then, transferred to the pc. From that time the villains have become the heroins and the heroins have emerged to other character types such as warriors, victims and insignificant personalities…

Allegories, metaphors, similes were used throughout the story in hopes that many would see themselves caught sometimes in the darkness of depression and other psychological components such as delusions and hallucinations. I have personally battled depression much of my life, so identifying with the story is/was easy for me. Adding here that when writing, my hand just takes off on its own and the story feels as if another entity is writing, through me. So, having said this, who knows where the ideas and thoughts come from and imagination isn’t the only source of creativity, but there is a spiritual source that must be heard and it uses it’s willing writer.

It’s been a year now, since edit one began (last January). Then, edit two started, over spring and summer and now, the last edit has occured during fall and winter… My coping skills for dealing with “the bats in my stomach” and awaiting the last word from her are demising. I can’t wait to see the red ink!

Sad Hazel Eyes

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Look up at me, hazel sad eyes!
Downcast and so blue,
Your appearance is always lying.

About the truth, that’s inside of you.

~

Seeing, what others see,
The beauty inside of you,
Gently a flower blooms within,
That beholds glory, and is simplistically, true.

~

Sometimes, we can’t see veracity.
But, in other’s, we regard more perfect
Comparing ourselves, to “their” humanity,
Thus’ depicting ourselves, contradict.

~

Our Creator, “He made in his image.”

We mirror; different choices,

Sometimes bad ones, and sometimes good,
All souls and spirits sing, with individual voices.

~

The vibrations are unique, in each being.
Dogs and cats alike, chant a special chorus.
And, they are loved, as much, as you and me.
So, together, we resound a joyful, opus, priestly, pure grandness.

~

And, you are there in the midst of resonance.
So, you’re not a contrived bassoon.
See without you, dear sweet sad face,
The choir would be out of tune.

Trying To Find Home

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“Awe,” the radiance; so bright.

Then, follow it, with all might.

The road course shall lead by day.

Rocks, turns, stickers and curves Climb anyway…

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My prejudiced thoughts; lofty visions of you.

Fiery images deflect a golden hue.

Imagined you, bronzed, dazzling, and vein.

We danced; then came rain.

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Caught too long there; my Idol thoughts; so dear.

Washed away; with my tear.

My arms bound, and mouth sealed.

Woven, hey! What’s the deal?

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OH, My God! I’ve Been Caught!

The coven’s web intendedly taut!

The feast I am; His delight.

Oh, fairy friend! By the firelight! Here I am!

~~~

Now the spiders home virtually unseen,

vaguely tucks into that corner beam.

But, see the dim light, growing so bright?

A fairy then severers the silk, so tight.

And, falling from the web of fright.

~~~

Still arms tangled by silk threads

Pushing out; bracing the fall

The spider and the fairy brawl

wham, bam, to and fro,

from the deathly fight they bow

Looking, whom’s, my fairy friend?

Noticing it must be Joe.

~~~~

Underneath the spider Joe waves thumbs up, You’re alright!

Now run like hell! To the light!

Run away little bate! For, the fate of the firefly might be too late…

by Bonnie Jennings ©1/12/2010FS

One Good Thing About Winter

Deadwood or reinvention
Deadwood or reinvention

Winter is the writer’s savory confections.
Grey days, rain, ice and snow evoke emotions.
Aroma’s of soup, candles, and fragrances allure affection’s
However Spring’s hope invite relief, from winter’s burdens.

~

Sometimes, in winter humans cry.
Grey clouds hover, as if, a veil dropped
A dullness covers the mind from on high.
It seems that, creativity and sanity, somehow swapped.

~

Oh, but I love Winter, Spring and Fall.
Grey summer sun rising, illuminates The Earth’s horizon,
and witnessed, temporarily, in the summer’s squall,
Nevertheless, the amber fire warms’ emotions of the winter writer’s action.

Leaving Adam By Bonnie Jennings

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Leaving Adam

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Eons advance and passed away.
Thought, theory, speculation and opinions, die.
Glancing through lenses, and squinting, at the sky,
Adam, pointing, at the twinkling specs, named the brilliant ballet.
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So, following mankind, up the mountain,
And ascending a rocky path; we embarked.
My feet followed his, upward, to where the sky was arched.
His staff pointed, and the heavens, then filled me, as a refreshing fountain.
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An advocate of The Father of Man, I desired what he sought,
Thus’ left the home of my family and upheld his zealous quest
Confidently, I abided and affirmed his every request.
Even, wore his belief’s; did just as he taught.
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One day, dared I asked, Adam, the man of science,
How is Eve today?
And, if looks could kill, then Eve is dead, thus’ left us only, to pray.
Deceased, she is. He answered, with a chill of neglectful defiance.
 ~
 
Man of Science, I spoke so boldly.
At the mountain top; we stand
The stars, you named, and held, in your hand,
However, love you murdered, so coldly.
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This day, I choose the mother
Her love, which first found me
Within the warm and welcoming spirit, in there, dwells she.
 And, today, I accept non-other.
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So, progressing and moving towards her;
 Over, the cliff of doubt, rapidly grabbing her hem, I aim.
Because, after carefully, considering your treacherous, pains,
There, in her grace ~ I seek her, safe harbor
~
 
I choose faith, that which, I cannot see. 
 
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Contact, opening scene
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Beauty Escapes (part 2 of Winter Fairies) By Bonnie Jennings

Then Beauty Takes Her Leave as The Evil SH’man Sleeps.

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Black night comes,

alone and cold.

Smart beauty sleeps warmed

By hands that fold.

In quietness the present enemy waits.

Beauty taunts not.

She need not…

For time be her friend.

Coldness aligns her side

And loneliness sang lullabies to her;

“sleep child sleep.”

SSH…Shh…

The fight grows small.

Sleeps on the horizon; it calls.

Hearing distance voices my eyes rest.

The hills and a mountain melody lays sleeps fog.

I answer…

Can you hear it, as well?

He snores…

“Gently gently, sleep.”

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Beauty crawls from fingers once tight.

Careful, careful…

Not to awaken the captures soul…

She’s played before..

However it’d grown old.

She plays well.

A champion for sure.

Quietly quietly,

“SSH”…says She….

“Awaken not my game.”

“Comes tomorrow a fair shame is he.”

“Foe rest; later your dare…”

“Truth? Ha!”

“Thought you had me?”

“You foolish sh’man.”

“Look! Who has who.”

“Thought you’d won?”

“Ha!!!”

“Surely thought?

I’d not get away?”

Ah…Before Daylight shines…

“One last game..It affords me so…”

Whispers stories in midnight sleep.

You’ll think strange, “God’s” voice for certain.

Magical messages, images, songs and words;

“God’s!, not His at all…”

Ah Hah!!

“Goody, goody for me.”

“One more time before nights end

Can bully jab my soul.”

“NOT!”

Then; Beauty declares her win…

Her long fairy fingers reach for the harp.

The soul of her game?

To pluck his “F” sharp…

“Bold challenges,” said Beauty,

“HIS love I detest,

but, as He has made it,

I surrender my quest.”

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By Bonnie Jennings @Copyright 2010

Blaming Faeries

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I lost a valuable item. The cost of one is exorbatant and the other pair, will not be enough, to do, the work  that, I do.

I knew where, I last placed it, and it was there, throughout the day. I know, as I saw it several times. I thought it was safe there.

Then, last night, I needed them. I went to find them and 1 was gone. Vanished. Missing. Not there! My heart skipped beats.

Panicking, I knew the Winter Faeries were having their fun with me, once again. They hadn’t toyed with me, in a while, but they, must have returned, to hide my little item. I guess they were bored and wanting to be mischievous and needed to play. (with me tonight)

I searched for the item by removing drawers and searching, by going through the laundry basket, by searching through the trash and staying up way beyond, my bedtime, Without any luck, I pined. I knew that I can not go to work without a pair and 1 would not be effective enough. Without the other, I would have to have it made, molded and sculpted to my shape and that could take awhile. So, I would have to call in and, I fretted.

I realized that things happen for a reason. I knew I had been careful by putting them where I had. So, my mind knew it was The Winter Faeries. It had to be them. But really, I said to myself, There are no such thing as faeries. But who else could it be? Mysteriously, the disappearance, of the 1 item, of a pair, just vanishing, discombobulated my thinking. Could there be faeries? There has to be, I reasoned.

There was nothing else to do, but retire to my bed for sleep. Tomorrow, I would face the day, and look in better light of day. Then, I would know what to do about calling in. As,I laid my head down on the pillow, I then, shut my eyes, hoping to fall asleep, quickly. But, my mind worried, awhile longer, as it thought, about, where the little item was hiding. After, rounding thoughts in my head, were wearing me out from fret, the only thing I could do was sincerely pray.

So, I did. I re-explained the situation to God. He said, I already know. . He said, You will have to trust, Right? Faith. Have faith. He saidreminding me about faith and questioning me about my lack of faith.

I said, OK, but ~

No buts! He echoed back.

So, I rolled over to sleep. Then, before I allowed sleep to come, a whisper told me to, get up. Walk barefooted. 

So, I did, not knowing what this was about, as my 1 item was in another room, and surely, this whisper wasn’t anything about my 1 item. But, I followed anyway.

The floors were very cold, but I did as the whisper said. Then, Funny, I felt something with my toe, over there. I didn’t like being barefoot, but I moved my great toe, over it once again, to feel the floor where the whisper suggested. Yes, there was something there that felt like that 1 item. I reached down with my hand to feel the object my great toe touched. Yes. Yes, it is my 1 lost item here on the floor in a different room from where I placed it.

I asked all the questions of who, what, where, why and how, and realized, it didn’t matter, but what truly mattered is that God sent and angel to help me find what the fairies hid (chuckle).

Most importantly, and the only thing left for me to do is, thank God, who sent his angel to whisper in my spirit, where the 1 item was misplaced, by ~ .

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The Dragon in The Tree

There is a dragon in my tree

I found it just today

It’s been lingering there for generations

Subliminally, controlling my life, I’d say. 

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It danced within my dreams

And haunted my ancestors of old

It created some battlefields

Thriving when we were brazenly bold

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It dined on our fruits of discord

It devoured the meat off the bone

It smoked an elegant cigarette

 While sitting on my father’s thrown

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The dragon stole our family love

It burned away bonding ties

Gulping down any charity

Our humanity left in lies

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The dragon wears a mask

Pretending to be a friend

Dressed in a cloak of disguise

Smirking behind all chagrin

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The day you discover the dragon

because it’s already found you

A sword you will need to don

All fondness dies when it’s slew

~

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~

There’s a dragon over your bed

It came while innocent slept

It played in your fairy tales

It departs when you’ve finally met

~

Bravely casting the beast down

Tis’ the hardest task to do

But, playing with wild demon dragons

Costs, perhaps, the bonnie, likes of you 

Twas’ The Eve of 2015

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The church bells loudly clanged in the square, but within their heads echoed a clambering GONG, GONG, GONG …. The sidewalk huggers, who lay there from the fire’s poison, held their ears as a vice might help. Hoping to stop the cacophony of noise, as they lay in their own vomit.
Then ~ Though not entirely innocent, became happy, to know, that I had become, the designated driver….BJ

Happy New Year 2015, and may New Year 2016 find you sitting by a cozy flame, tea-totaling.

The last night of 2014
The last night of 2014