Rough draft. My NDE

My Near Death Experience 2.8.2019

I was cold and not feeling well about anything. It was early 2019. The fall prior to then was hurried, confusing, filled with nursing exams, and health exams, and to add, I started a new job. A job I thought would last me, the rest of my working career. Orientation was a solid month. Good. I could sit in a chair for 8 hours and learn. I was a good student. I learned to be one at an older age.

The day came when they said, “everyone must have a flu vaccine. If you don’t take it, then you’ll have to wear a mask for 8 hours.” I knew there was going to be a problem. The last two times that I took the damn injections, I was sick. The 24 HR ER became my best friend for both years. The last year that I took it was 2014. I tried to explain that I has asthma and couldn’t wear a mask for 8 hours. That’s insane and besides masks only work for less than 5 minutes. Good grief. A psychiatrist didn’t take it, and we knew she could get away with it and my best nursing buddy there also didn’t take it. She wore the mask around her neck. She never put it on. She had a doctors note. I didn’t. As it turns out, they (neither one) never wore their masks.

And I… got sick from the shot, almost immediately. They said, “can’t wear a mask, then you’ll have to resign.” So, I refused to quit and took the flu shot. The nurse had a handful of injections, maybe 10 or 15. In nursing this is a HUGE NO NO. I let her give me the injection using one of the many drawn up vaccinations.

In two weeks both of my eyes dilated. My primary care physician sent me to an Opthamalogist and I went to my own. Both said, but not my pcp, “you touched a medication without gloves. Your eyes dilated.” That was the stupidest diagnosis I had ever heard in the 22 years of nursing. I had touched multiple pills and never had any reaction for 21 to 22 years. This was bullshit. We wash our hands very quickly. By the way, my pcp knew that was a lame reason labeled to my case.

The days progressed into Christmas, New Years, and on Jan 21, 2019, I resigned. My eyes were still dilated, bilaterally. I couldn’t go outside in the sunlight without sun glasses. I could only work at night. So, I started watching children who were on life support, at night.

On February 8th, that was the last day and evening that I remember. My body had swollen perhaps 15 lbs in less than 24 hours. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t eat. I was sick.

Death; Is It Painful?

How often, I’ve been asked this question or have read it at NDE sites. My answer is truthful and is what I experienced for many hours prior to death. It is unlike many who say that dying was easy. The actual passing over was a breeze, but the dying was not an easygoing event. Nope. Far from it.

Basic anatomy and physiology class begins now as I explain death, as I experienced it.

Being one with chronic asthma and numerous allergies, just never know what’s going to bite you, or poison you. I will take you to my last twenty-four hours, that I can remember.

I worked as a RN one night with a child. The next morning, I left not feeling well. I couldn’t pinpoint what was happening, but I couldn’t breathe and my asthma began to escalate. I drove home with my inhaler in hand.

The Sun was rising and I went to bed. I slept for not to long. My son made a gourmet lunch and it looked wonderful and it tasted well, but I couldn’t eat it. I was nauseated, but couldn’t eat. I was drinking water, lots of it to clear my lungs of mucus that had crept down my esophagus. The water helped.

I went back to sleep and slept until maybe late afternoon and I awakened in the middle of a severe asthma attack. I grabbed my emergency inhalers and used them what seems over and over again. I remember that I had a home nebulizer, so I got up and cleaned it with shaky hands and weakness in my legs. “There, it’s clean. Let me find the packaged medicine.” I found it and cut it open as I am also hooking up the tubing so that I can breathe. I turned it on and started to breathe easier… for a little while.

The time? I don’t know. It was getting later and later.

I got up again to use my machine again. I knew that I had to go to the hospital, but I was tired and getting confused. I suddenly urinated on the floor. “My god! I’ve never done this, ever! What’s happening?!?”

Every breathe that I took was inadequate and the lack of oxygen or deoxygenation or anoxic conditions were getting overbearing. It seemed that the demand for oxygen was intensified by my lungs and the asthmatic medications no longer worked. Every cell in my body was being drained of oxygen. In fact, I probably was beginning to look like a dried prune. The inspirations were draining every cell inside my circulatory system of the oxygen.. it was hungry. It stole mega amounts. I kept peeing on the floor. This is because of the deoxygenated cells. The fluids had to go somewhere, so the fluids (not excess, but my own everyday needed oxygen) were wasted in my urine.

The 10:00 PM news came on and said, “this is the coldest night of the year. There is ice on the roads (in East Texas and that’s scary because we don’t know how to drive on ice) so please stay home.”

Damn it! I picked the worse night of the year to die!

My son walked by my bedroom and I yelled, “call an ambulance, tell them to hurry. I’m dying. I can’t breathe.” I suddenly passed out. It was about 11:30 PM, 2.8.2019.

Oddly, the ER report says, 2.9.2019, 10:32 AM. My son says that what I imagined didn’t happen. He said I spoke to him that morning. Pause and deep recollection by me.

“Nope, I clearly remember the news reporter that evening on 2.8.2019, not 2.9.” I mean, I remember, falling onto my bed and being gone and absent from my body before my head hit the pillow. Gone as in deceased, yet a new day was on the ER report and another story was told to me. Damn, I am either highly confused, or something happened and I was gone a very long time. My journey to the other side was filled with details and it took place over many places and eras of time.

The dying part is horrific, at least in my experience, but the entrance into the other place is phenomenal. It is unlike anything you’ve ever read as it’s impossible to draw an accurate picture as it’s changing all the time. It is also extremely difficult to describe to the exact degree that it was witnessed. There are no dreams, no medications, no afterlife experiences that can accurately describe what is there. It’s impossible, scary, charming, bizarre, and endearing. All in one story,, one experience, in a description that tries its best to tell you whats there. It’s impossible. The English language won’t, and cannot explain the colors nor the liveliness of the entire place that speaks, communicates, laughs and creates together.

Alice In Wonderland is my best explanation of how I felt while visiting. But, to get to that place, once again, takes death. We all we do it. Everyone of us will pass through the entrance alone.

Chapter 1

“Today, my dearest mother, Bonnie Jennings, was taken from and given back to us. What began as severe chest congestion last night ended up in respiratory arrest this morning.

Accordingly, she went without oxygen long enough that her heart stopped beating. Chest compressions and CPR were not restarting her heart. In the ambulance, approximately 15 minutes after her heart had stopped, they were able to defibrillate her and start her pulse again.

She has severe pneumonia and is at UT Health Center in Tyler, TX. She is on enough propofol to keep her unconscious to avoid agitation and prevent her from ripping out her breathing tubes.

Mom, I love you. “ My son addressed FB on my behalf. This was his note. February 9, 2019

Oddly, I only remember the late of the evening, February 8th. My world was fuzzy. The deoxygenated brain cells left me with the condition of anoxia or anoxic brain disorder. However, now, I am doing so well. This is an absolute miracle. Yes. It is.

Now, back to the 8th of February, before my son moved away, one evening, I got up my courage an asked what happened. It was because all I could remember was the 8th, and peeing on the floor. I couldn’t believe what was happening to me. I saw my son walk by and he stays in the other end of the house. I told him to call 911 and that I was dying. Now I remember it was the coldest night of winter 2019 for East Texas. Ice was expected, and I thought, why would my body have to choose tonight out of all the nights in the year. We weren’t in town, and Texans don’t know how to drive on ice, so why did I choose tonight. Totally inconvenient.

My son said, we had some of that conversation, but it was in the morning. I don’t remember the morning of February 9th. The hospital records state I was taken to the ER at 10:37 AM. So, where did the night go? I asked myself. Just vagueness is upstairs now.

This whole time and episode has really troubled me because of my memories ended late February 8, 2019. My nursing friends have explained to me what happened to my brain 🧠 with deoxygenated (anoxia) cells, and my memories. And, this is exactly what “the others” told me while I was visiting on the other side.

If you want to know who and what “the others” are, then follow me to Chapter 2 or 3.

Here… I must tell you that in my experience, I didn’t have a tunnel, lights, family there nor friends, and there were no angels with wings.

Chapter 2

I was in ICU, my lungs were intubated, a tube was down my nose in order to be fed, and a urinary bag was in place. I had zero memory of any of the tubes being placed within me and had I have known, I would have said, “no.” I am a RN and have inserted a few. I know the discomfort and of the intubation have. I had oxygen going, and IVs filled with a cardiac drug that I am allergic to, and antibiotics for pneumonia and something for status asthmaticus. The cardiac medication, I saw hanging, I tried to tell them, “I cant take that! I am allergic!” They heard me a few days later after I had swelled hugely. The medication did that to me on a regular dose.

I thought I was talking, but I wasn’t for a day or two. It’s so confusing. I heard my sister say, “It’s not your time. Mother told me. You need to come back.” My mother is deceased, but my sister connects all the time with her, and I believed her. She also said, “You, better come back. There’s no one who will take care of your animals.” I had 6 at the time. Still, I was far away. Her words were very faint. My children said the same to me. “Come home mom, it’s not your time.”

Meanwhile, in my afterlife heaven, I am arguing with someone’s. They were real to me, I knew who they were, but I never saw them until later. I am angry with my death circumstance. I was saying to them, “I am a good person. I deserve having a tunnel, lights, angels and family and friends meet me!”

The “others” didn’t say a word. They allowed me to carry on for quite a while. I heard myself and my arguments. Looking back, I think how. “Really, Bonnie?” Geez, no one deserves anything. I am so sorry for my poor behavior. I also can tell you the number one lesson that I learned is this.

We are only given…This Moment. That’s all we have so becoming happy, or controlling depression, it becomes easier if we only understand, the only time we are promised is right now. That’s it.

Once I understood the above physical law, I was able to proceed with my experience. It was at the next few moments they instructed me on “why you didn’t remember your experience.” They gave me a mathematical equation or algebraic expression that went like this:

Earth’s time + oxygenated atmosphere = memories of life and existence here.

Without oxygen, memories are gone, lost to Earth times, and the people who remain. Anything written, spoken, recorded, photographed, touched are links to The Earth, but not guaranteed for any kind of communications after lives cease. The connections in the future would have to have an oxygen link. As far as mediums, I am only telling you what I learned. I have been a medium for a few in the past; however, I am not sure how the connections were made unless (my reasoning) the objects touched, held or owned had oxygen involved. This idea also blows my mind.

I also, have assumed, that the after life has numerous places, levels (some are still oxygenated because they are close to Earth’s atmosphere), dimensions, houses as Jesus said, mansions as Jesus said, and many parallel or same dimension places as we are in mow.

For instance, a friends father died one night, before I knew he had died, he came in the middle of the night and shook my arm. He told me to get up and follow him. He went into our den. He saID, “I had to come say goodbye. I have a lot of places to go and many to visit, but I wanted to tell you goodbye.”
I said, “well, thank you.” As I said that he floated to the top of the ceiling and disappeared. That’s when I suspected he was gone, deceased. The next day, I was told that he died that night, the night he awakened me.

The point is this, he was still in the atmosphere of the Earth and was able to communicate with a sensitive person. Me. I was thankful for the visit. I know that he was among us still. To bring someone back, one would have to bring a soul back into the atmosphere of oxygenation. Memories that people have and can manifest the soul.

Chapter 3
My Visit Begins; The Cleansing Pool

After my vigorous complaining to the ones who listen and don’t respond…
There was no response from them, but there was an instantaneous transformation to my heaven or my afterlife. There was no tunnel, no lights, no angels or loved ones. I was just suddenly standing in a very odd place. I knew that I was deceased.

A black round disk came into view from a distance and moved right in front of my feet. It was solid, black, round and extremely dynamic to me. I didn’t know what it meant accept a fellow NDEer told me that it sounded like a Dharma Wheel. I looked up a Dharma Wheel definition and images. Yep. That’s what I saw. It was my past, present and I would create my future. The future would be dependent on everything that I learned prior to this life and my life just lived.

I looked at the black wheel that had rolled up to me from the distance. It seemed to have come through dry sands at this place. When it came to rest and stopped it was huge, like a monolith structure. It was solid black and it had a sliver cut from it on the lower SE corner. I wondered if this represented my entire life and the sliver was where I was now, or was I at the end… I questioned my life plan. No one answered me, but me. I was alone. I looked at it over and over because I knew the sliver meant that I had not finished my life, or I had a little life left to live.

Suddenly, I was standing before or near a tall lean Asian man who wore a straw hat. I looked at him as he had a long pole in his hands. He was stirring something. In the distance I watched volcanoes erupting and saw the red lava leak down the mountain into the red river of blood and brains that the Asian man was stirring. I gasped.

“Am I in HELL!” Panicking, I asked The man.
He kind of gently chucked bad said, “No, you are at the cleansing pool.” He was not wordy or someone who had to be seen. He was wise and quiet.
“The Cleansing Pool?” Said I.
“Yes. I am stirring brains and blood from those with bad or negative thoughts.” He spoke kindly and directly to me. His eyes were very wise. He could have been my mother.
“Oh,” I responded. “Why are you stirring them?”
“Everyone must be clean before they can ascend. All negative thoughts and emotions must be washed before you can go on any further.” He kept stirring.
I asked if it would hurt.
He said, “Did you feel anything?”
I replied, “no, I felt nothing.”

With that response, I ascended to the next place,

Chapter 4 The Dirt

The Trip to the dirt was in less than a moment. Suddenly I was there with someone. I never saw their face and I don’t know who they were or their sex. They were teaching me rapidly.

I was barefooted on the dirt of The Earth. Also, I must say that in my death experience I looked like a picture of myself taken about 4 or 5 years ago. I was around 62 then.

Back to my NDE, the someone took a handful of dirt and put it in my hands. For the first time, I saw dirt in a new way. The quantum physics way. As the dirt sifted through my fingers, the mineral properties illuminated. As they fell back into the dirt, the particles began to sparkle their true colors. The golds were intensely golden and the grains, individual, seemed to be magnified as I looked and saw each tiny piece. The silvers were shiny, sparkly, and as they slipped through my fingers with every type of particle on the atomic calendar. The bacteria’s, viruses and the living bits of Earth were ever-present as I watched like never before. Beneath my feet, and our feet, there are other billions of worlds. The quantum universes were there, alive, illuminating their space and I knew the, what I had always wondered, are there layered universes and the answer is/was yes. Beneath us is an unending world such as The Fibonacci Code signifies. The worlds spin smaller and smaller and what is microscopic to you and I, is another world.
I was utterly awed and so thankful to see and learn what I had always wondered. The being showed me without and words and amazing existence.

Chapter 5. Earth’s Relics

When the dirt’s truthful formations completed, instantly I was at the relics of The Earth. I believe we started with Egypt. The Pyramids. I examined the hieroglyphs by running my fingers over the images. I sensed the meaning, that I don’t remember now, unfortunately. I touched the grandness of the large structures as I walked alone with the warm winds blowing ever so hauntingly insightfully. I knew that I had walked among the relics when they were formed. They were familiar like a home.

So was The Sumerian Tablets. I touched and read.

In Peru, I visited the wonderful place and I think I was flying like a bird over looking the Andries Mountains up to Mexico.

The Temple Of Kukulkan or Mayan Temple was our place, I believe though Mexico has 7 known pyramids, we visited one and I believe it was this one. There, once again, I touched, read and knew the feeling of belonging.

We ended in Samaria. There were the tablets. They asked me to read them aloud and I did so.
I was so pleased with the reacquaintance to all the history, structures and tablets. I was satisfied.

Then, they said, “you must move forward . With that, we were off.

Chapter 6. The Hard Chapter To Explain

Every chapter begins with suddenly.
Suddenly I am in a room that I now call an office. It was dark and there was an illuminated long sleek desk. Sitting casually and comfortably behind the desk were 5 (I think that was the number) extraterrestrials.

I was calm and unafraid. They were kind, reserved yet warmly inviting, and patiently pleasant.

I felt that I was being interrogated, but they weren’t mean, hateful, or Lucifarian. I knew they knew me from the past.

I asked the question, “are you our humans DNA?”

And without hesitation, “yes. We are.”

I wasn’t surprised and felt comfortable with the answer. I knew that I wasn’t being given any untruths and the answer sat Inside my being as truth. These were my relatives and I was home.

The personalities of these alien ETs is unlike humanity. We, humans, are mammals, and they are not. The mammals are warm and friendly to their tribe and offspring (usually) and they, ETs, are not. The are not warm and cuddly, nor are they impatient. They will honestly wait “forever,” if its needed. They don’t jump into help us, unless it serves them, nor do they pat someone on the back and say, “well done.” They are not mean, but their lack of help or “non-interferences” are seemingly, unkind when struggling for help. They do appreciate good humor, pleasantries, good manners, kindnesses, and gentlemanly behaviors from humans. I say gentlemanly because they regard us as one, male and females. We are the ones who made the difference and separated the species into good and better. This is also true with our religions. It was our desire to have such kingdoms in place and they let us do our mammal things. Kings, rulers, monarchies, dictators, murderers, rapists, zealots, faithful, righteous, thieves, snakes (that we gave a slanderous hateful assigned character to) and the rich and poor. The character types, humans named and made because we were part mammal and alien. The aliens or ETs don’t have such beliefs, but they didn’t stop us. No, they let us do what we wanted, even if, the acts were cruelties to one another. The ETs would let us fight out our own battles and worlds as we were the new species, and had to learn as we go without their interferences.

My interview was over and theirs with me… for this moment.

The Beings, The Others

We ascended. We were in the galaxy way above Earth. We were in another office, in a ship, way out in space. There, in that room they handed paper to me printed on the numerous pages were binary codes. They told me to read them and I told them the I could not read binary codes. They looked at me and I knew they meant, we can stay here a lifetime or forever. Read the codes. So… I guess that I did or didn’t. After the forever or eternity waiting on my reading, they threw the paper on the floor of the ship to be burned. Okay, I thought.

Here, I must tell you the binary codes are used to time travel. If someone needed examining or help, which they don’t do often, they used binary codes to find the person, the time, the date, the whereabouts or the location coordinates. The binary codes gave all that information in a parallel world or worlds. They were active and on board. The binary codes used dark space and matter to work efficiently.

Next … the star charts. Yep. I read them! I was thrilled! And off we went to Pleiades and then The Orion’s Belt. We visited.

I said, “please, don’t take me any higher, I’m afraid of heights.” And, with that statement… we were off into the outer parameters of the universes.

Chapter 7 The Universes; The Baby Bundle

The meetings with the ETs ended and the back door to the spaceship opened (this was my imagination, I really didn’t see this scene in my NDE, but felt this happened). It was as if I was clear to wander the universes on my own.

Meanwhile, I kept asking where my family were, the deceased ones and my deceased friends. They kept reminded me … “there is no hurry. You have an eternity.” So, I accepted that and went forward. I also asked about my deceased pets. They didn’t show up either, but they (the ETs, I suppose, I didn’t see them say this, but I assumed that it was them) reminded me I had an entire eternity to see and meet all people and pets. “Don’t be in such a hurry. There is plenty of time.”

“Okay, Okay,” said I.

Off I went into the universe. I passed stars, nebulous,’ galaxies, oddities, planetary systems being built and designed, and I saw a great deal of happiness going on about me. The universes were vibrating lovely conversations and songs. It echoes throughout the space. There is a great deal of laughter, and extreme joy.

I got to the edge of the universes (plural) and watched while sitting on the side of a planet like the Moon is to Earth. I saw what I called The Elohim (Hebrew word meaning the plural of god) making a nebulous. To me this was The Grand God or Creator. This entity, alive and full of energy, creativity, light, joy, and constantly making and creating is moving about waving its wands creating creating creating worlds, galaxies, nebulous,’ and so forth. The Elohim does not tear apart, does not condemn, does not rip apart and doesn’t send anyone to Hell.

In fact, I never saw a place named Hell, hades, the under world or any place of punishments. If there is a place, it was not shown to me. If there is a place, it is between oneself and karma. Here, I will say that what I understand is this…there is not devil, satan, demons, or devils. The evils in this world are within each of us. This is why karma (or another appropriate name) is appropriate. Reaping and sewing says we go to god and ask for forgiveness and we are totally forgiven. Karma says, yes you can ask for forgiveness and should, but your punishments are put into place by the individual. The consequences are played back much like a swinging pendulum. You started the action, the action must be paid back. The pendulum swings, then it swings to the other side until the whole of all learning experiences are learned. When all lessons are learned, then we can say, we are like a god. We know and understand all things because we have lived them. We will not remain ignorant. We will be poor, rich; beautiful, ugly; white, black; etc, etc…we will know murder, and the life of a saint. We will be able to answer any question that is asked of god or gods.

Now… my journey, sitting on the side of the planet saw the Fibonacci designs growing, forming and making the babies bundle that holds the universes together. The plants spoke to me and I to them. I felt like Alice in Wonderland. The plants were very busy and told me that had to get back to work. The also showed me a picture, that I drew and it shows the universes in the upper left lung of a form. The inside of the body looked human. I am a RN so I recognized the insides and it looked human. I was told to never leave the upper lobe of the cavity holding the universes. Because if we went outside this area, then we would travel alone and no one ever returns. Hmm 🤔 thought I. Others had been here before?

When I was there, I say this carefully because someone once misunderstood my sayings, up high looking over the entirety of the incredible space, and all the structures of planets, stars, suns, moons, comas, lights etc, there was a male presence with me. It wasn’t the one in the picture that I drew. He was most kind, happy, joyful, friendly, kind, imaginative, delightful, and was there to answer any of my questions. He didn’t interrupt any of my pleasures of watching. He was so happy that I was happy. I felt like this might be Christ… but I am not sure.

I kind of asked about Yeshua and what I asked was who was he, and was he real. The answer came back to yes, he’s real, but misinterpreted. Furthermore, he was/is a man who was filled with love, who came to teach us only about love, and only spoke about love. The Christ sent was dramatically transformed into a human toy that was used to hate, manipulate, to steal and mislead others who are not in a position to defend self against such ploys of the controllers, manipulators and or the corrupt. This was not the intentions of The Christ.

At some point very quickly, I was ushered back to my life on earth. As my teaching about Jesus Christ ended, I heard his last commandment. “Faith, hope and love, and the greatest is love. Never forget this! It is the glue that will hold humanity together! It’s the only thing that last! LOVE! You must spread this above all this. This is the final and last commandment. LOVE!”

Like an echo coming backwards the word LOVE came with me as I traveled faster than the speed of light back into my body. I had a hard time talking, knowing what had happened…

I want to thank my friend who is an Art Therapist for encouraging me to draw what I saw and it took a great deal of therapy to get me to draw. Thank you, Shelley Cannon-Fredrick. If you hadn’t of stayed diligently encouraging me, I never would have drawn the pictures of my journey. So, thank you. All NDEers need an Art Therapist.

https://www.nderf.org/Archives/NDERF_NDEs.html

Notice the void. It is set off and away from the life source
These are humans connected to the life source and one who is disconnected
This is a cross section of the life source. Two people said it resembles colon. I had to laugh and agree. We are in gods bowels.
The Dharma Wheel
My drawing
The space that ALL the universes are within. The top right lobe.
Me sitting on the side of a moon type structure watching The Elohim mak a nebulous
The Being who was there in the afterlife.
Close up of The Fibonacci plants growing, speaking and having a type “A” personality on the “baby bundle” that holds us (all the universes) inside the right upper lobe of the body.
The Fibonacci Designs growing on the outside surface of the bundle that protects the space for the universes and the rest of the body.
The Transfer or The Death Angel
This image, not my own, seems right. The feeling of peace was there in the universe during my NDE
My blood pressure before my NDE
Me in the hospital post my NDE

These are additional notes as I continue to awaken. I am chatting with another NDEer and we are contemplating our beliefs regarding the Covid Crisis.

“Okay my understanding of Karma and the Akashic records is this.

Number one “karma” the word introduced by The Vedic religious group from the Hindis

It is the word that I use and this is because The Vedics are the most accurate source for understanding life, living, and death.

But the word Karma is not right or correct. I don’t know the right word so I go with Karma.

Getting past that, karma is not a god handing out punishments. It is not any spiritual being charging anyone to a sin or good thing.

It is our internal scoring system that records our lives. The entire period here. For every + another + can occur and for every – then another – of the same strength will occur.

As we get to the end of our lives the pendulum that is moving with our karma and it attached to The Akashic records, goes across the board one time, that represents one life. When it goes back again, another life of some kind.

The Akashic records keeps track of all our lives and the records of the karmic debts and attributes.”

Especially Christianity

A photograph I took summer 2019
My backyard clouds

In 1998, after spending 25 years of calling myself a “born again Christian,” (1973) my actual accepting of the term and proudly wearing their banner, decided to move onward to a new belief adventure in 1998.

As a child (before 1973) in 1962 I attended The Episcopalian Church with my mother and father and thank god we never beat people’s spirits down to make or cause them to believe in Christ. We never significantly or proudly boasted, “I led this one to the lord.”

No Episcopalians are cool and unpretentious and I should have remained one as they are less tiring and wearisome on others peacefulness. However, I am far past their teachings now and into my own beliefs and I am content.

But… onward I forged by myself exploring all little crooks and crannies that I was told, “don’t go into that place. Demons are there!” And they (the ones saying this crap) growled worse than any demon could do so. Some of those Christians were and are pretty scary. Yes they are and I was once just like them. I didn’t like me then.

I am glad that Christ is nothing like that. In my recent death experience, the being that might have been him (Christ) was behind me while on my journey through space and the galaxies into the universe and universes. He, if it was him, sat joyfully telling The Elohim how to place the nebulous in the universe. He was like an interior designer of the entire outside space. He was extremely happy and laughed a lot. If this was Christ He didn’t jump out there and say, “praise the lord… you better believe in me or else.”

Nope. The happy fellow was humble, trusting, not pushy, kind, non accusatory and very comforting. He was very much unlike any church other than The Episcopalians. He’s far from their (church goers) appearances or behaviors. I think he’s happy with the Episcopalians though. I think that he is most like them, if he identifies with any church organization.

Now in 1998, I went back to the things that I grew up with and loved.

Number one: astrology. Gods map of vibrational forces throughout the earth compared to the solar system.

FYI about astrology, you realize that once we are off the earth and time stops 24/7 then the heavenly vibrational forces change. Astrology changes and a new unknown measurement begins again.

Now I will take you off my beaten track to a story about aliens. Please stay with me on my journey.

A Christian therapist led me on a regression or a hypnotic therapy session. It was many years ago (late 1950’s) that I was haunted by visions of beings who visited my father (a mechanical engineer who designed missiles, rockets and ammunition) during the Vietnam War. They, the beings seen by me) were not of this earth.

During my regression, I was being taken back to meet them. However when I arrived in this time, back to the 1950’s or 1960’s, they were forceful and told me to leave. I was not invited. They used their arms and hands to tell me to leave, “now.”

So I left quickly. I then met up with Jesus and the two Mary’s. We began walking together on an old rocky road in the warm Sun. Jesus Christ was walking next to me as the two Mary’s walked behind us. They were praying and quiet.

The walking behind by the two women wasn’t because of a superiority that Jesus being a male had. No it was designed this way for the prayers to be completed and effective.

We walked and talked. Jesus had met me outside of the aliens den. He said, “come with me.” So I gathered my thoughts and being and went with him and the two ‘Mary’s.

He said that he understood my thoughts and dilemma and that he was turning me over into the company of some good friends of his, “The Magi.” He said that I would be safe there and that I should trust them and learn everything that I could.

I said, “yes, but they are about astrology and the unseen world and that’s wrong, evil, of the devil, etc.”

He said, “ you will be fine. You will learn under them now. You’ve learned everything that you can from me. Trust me.”

I said, “okay, I will believe you and trust you.” I proceeded in the direction he led me. On stone stairways leading down into the turquoise waters away from The Sun, descending into the beautiful ocean.

He and the two Mary’s left me as I went down into deep waters into the place of Atlantis. I was there looking at the monuments and recognized my heritage, my beginnings. I was home.

He (Jesus) brought me home!

I was freed from the church and all their harshness. Their yelling and cruelty was now behind me. I could now live my life free from condemnation and guilt.

Jesus smiled and said you are apart of them. Go now. The three left me swimming amongst the depths of the ocean 🌊 and within Atlantis.

From this point my real experience began.

Stay tuned.

Demanding of Kings

We see angels and supernatural beings yet perhaps what really is there are the ones who direct us.

1 Samuel 8
The people (Israelites) demand there be a king.

Humans want/need to place someone in charge. They have an innate want/need to elevate someone, to admire someone and to follow someone. We are like the mammals on earth. We think lowly and have not risen to the place needed for progression beyond mammals.

I believe this is part of the animal nature within humans and is not the best for the earth. But… humans aren’t there. We haven’t risen to the place of where, no kingships are needed. History proves this over and over again.

The Neanderthal gene 🧬 is continuing to influence our human thinking. We think and behave like animals. We don’t take care of anything such as our planet. We admire wrong things on earth or the things that tear the earths gifts away such as oxygen. We love looking up to those (any of those) who are willing to be scrutinized by others. We are selfish and the Roman Colosseum truly isn’t that distant from our past.

UFOs 🛸, ETs, Near Death and My Father

Well initially when Ned Matinnia started this line of conversations on the near death experience page, I gave a greeting knowing later that I would add my few cents into the conversation and I would share a little bit about what I know and experienced as a fact. Not a guess but for absolute truth and to pledge allegiance in the Supreme Court that what I write here and now is the truth. Mine.

I was 7ish in 1958-9 and I was the youngest of two older sisters.

My father had been in WWII in the Air Force and served as a Navigator on a bomber.

After the war he graduated from Georgia Tech in mechanical engineering and graduated with honors. He was then employed by the government of The USA to design missiles and rockets for Morton-Thiokol.

He had married my mother and had two other daughters (my sisters) before me and had lived in Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, New Orleans (when I was born), San Francisco, Tulsa Ok, Marshall Tx, Longview Tx, Shreveport La, and back to Longview Tx.

Well I was in third grade when daddy started mentioning UFOs to me. For Christmas he bought me a telescope and sine he had been a Navigator, my father knew the stars in the sky.

His father died early and had been a Methodist minister. From him, my father knew scriptures. And also my favorite, astrology. My father was pretty good with understanding astrological angles and houses.

He taught me about the stars often as we stood outside on our street in the country in East Texas nights. There he told to me his top secret stories at MT thinking that I wouldn’t remember, after all, I was a kid. I wouldn’t remember anything. Daddy wasn’t a kid person but he tolerated me. I listened.

Now my father was not an excitable man and he was not a blow hard braggart. No he was the opposite in character.

However, I must add, a good looking woman could move him but, not his employment. That was top secret.

I remember he and I discussing myths, astrology, religion and aliens. Those were my favorite nights that I can remember.

He always said it would be ignorant to state that we were the only beings of humanoid or of similar intelligence. Perhaps more. He was quiet when saying this as he knew this trait could be a problem for mankind in our future.

As time went on, daddy had witnessed lights surrounding him at a launch pad. He had a camera and a male witness. They were both flown to DC for a debriefing.
“Shut up. You didn’t see anything.”
So he talked more to me, the kid who couldn’t remember. I was his safe place. I never spoke as a child. Hell… he wouldn’t let us talk. Perhaps that had something to do with being Top Secret and being told to Shut up. Maybe.

The Project Blue Book people visited our home. He strongly disliked them. Oh daddy murmured cursing words when they came around. Under his breath, of course. He didn’t like them. He told me they lie all the time. They can’t be trusted.

My father had given me a rock or stone with strange properties. It was a stone and sat in my pawn. When manipulated the stone stretched out and became a silver string. If scrunched up again, it would become a stone/rock again. The rock stayed with us for many years. After his death the stone disappeared.

I think mother gave it away. She was angry at him and me. She gave it away.

Now back to me and my father talking about the universe in the road. The nights were cold and we never had any strange lights as he looked for them often.

It was at this time that during the night while I slept alone, I had 3-4 visitors in my bedroom closet. They came only at night.

They were tall, cloaked with hoods, dark materials and I was to afraid to look at them. I looked away. They were not friendly. I was paralyzed. I would pee in my bed. One mean ugly one threatened me. He told me if I yelled or screamed it would be bad for me. I shut up. They came a few times. Not sure more than once, perhaps two or three times in my life.

Later on my daughter explained that when we came to visit and she was little they came to her as well. She said they threatened her brother. He was two and half years younger than she. She was sevenish. The same age a s me.

Much later, he died in 1983 from cancer. He chose never to not to speak to me ever again. He died.

In the later years since 2014, I have captured many UFOs 🛸 on my cell phone. I have photographed UFOs 🛸everyday ( almost).

I did loose an hour in time once while getting ready for work. However, while drinking coffee on the back porch at 0445, my daughter and I watched lights come up over the trees 🌳 towards us. That morning I got a call from my work.
“Bonnie what are you doing? Are you coming to work today?” Supervisor
“Yes,” I said.
“Well what time are you going to be here?” Supervisor
“I don’t know. What time is it now?” I replied.
“It’s 0715.” Supervisor said.
“Omg! I am an hour late!” I was yelling as we awakened early that morning just to sit outside and have coffee.
I had no memories of the missing time. Non.

An hour of time was missing. The year was ~2005. It’s somewhere.

Ned Matinnia; Near Death Moderator, Mediator and Medium


Hello and welcome to my blog or my stumbling on life using scribbles. We’re glad you made it!

Today, I am introducing you to another FB friend who is the administrator over numerous Near Death Experience groups. He will share some of his personal story, as well as, his fascinating life as an astrologer, a medium, and an engineer.

So now please welcome this handsome man Ned Matinnia.

So… Thank you Ned for agreeing to share your story with The World on my webpage. It’s a pleasure to have you stop in for a visit! You are a very interesting person and I am sure everyone would love to hear your experiences, as well as, hear about all of your hobbies. The astrologer and the medium, as well as, being an engineer are intriguing professions. What a combination. You remind me of my father’s interests.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/returnfromdeath

Ned and the bronze gentleman, is this statue one of Einstein, Ned?

Q: How about a little bio as to your profession, age, married? Tell us a little bit about yourself.

Ned: I’m in my early 30’s right now and single. In fact, for the vast majority of my life, I’ve been alone. The emotionally abusive childhood I endured (and my extra-sensitive nature) had such an impact that I was scared of people for many years, with social anxiety and feeling like I wasn’t as good as anybody else. In recent years that has started to change.

For work, I’ve been a software engineer as I’ve always loved computers and technology. It just so happened to be a great career path for me as well. But over time, I’ve been branching into spiritual work, such as astrology/numerology (both, as they just so happen to neatly dovetail into each other – supporting the same message). And even mediumship readings. This has been an area where I’ve been building my experience and confidence with. It took many psychics, mediums, and intuitive friends to tell me out of the blue: “You are a medium. You can do this,” before I began to open to the idea that I could really do this. It can be scary to start out, not knowing if what you’re saying makes any sense whatsoever to your client. But, oftentimes it does in wonderful ways that I could never have expected.

A daily labor of love I’ve had is tending to and cultivating the Near Death Experiences public group on Facebook with my co-admin Katie. Now with almost 33,000 members, I never would have expected this to happen. But I think it’s a sign of the times, and people are wanting answers beyond the often cryptic or trite religious answers, and beyond the (mainstream) scientific “veil of atheism/materialism” (the two tend to strongly tie to each other in intellectual circles).

Q: How have you grown after being around NDEs or having an experience?

Ned: I’ve come a long way from the often-hopeless agnostic or even atheist that I used to be. I’ve always loved science and figuring things out and understanding how things work and why. Science naturally is that realm of knowledge and understanding based on study, observation, and evidence/data.

But to someone who is really hurting emotionally in life, or who feels like life is meaningless, and that life is some f’d up crazy circus (like the typical headlines on the news), science only told me that life is an accident and that there is no meaning or purpose.

Many people would list their loved ones, family, and friends as the things that make them happiest; well, at the time, I had none of those. I had a typical family yes, but I didn’t deeply feel connected to them. I don’t want to sound cold at all. But I felt like my heart and feelings were just somewhere else, and no one around me, family included, could nurture or support that in the deeper way that I needed. Sometimes feeling like an alien here on Earth.

Fast-forward to when I learned about near death experiences for the first time. I had come across an article on the internet I think about them. And eventually had found and read Life After Life by Dr. Raymond Moody. I watched videos of interviews of experiencers, so moved and amazed at what they were sharing. I felt like….this is the reason to live. This explains it. This goes where (at least mainstream) science has yet to open its closed eyes. This also explains things in a way that religions (all of them) haven’t been able to fully connect I felt. Actually having people who die, watch their bodies, hear the people around them, sometimes even feel those peoples’ emotions or know their private thoughts, and then to sometimes meet deceased loved ones they had never even heard about or seen photos of in their ancestry….to people remembering why they chose to come to Earth in the first place…it was to me like the Jackpot.

Since then, I attended my first IANDS Conference (International Association for Near Death Studies) in 2012, in Scottsdale, Arizona. I got to meet and see “NDE celebrities” (I use that word loosely and playfully; it’s not about ego or putting people on pedestals, but I like to be a sort of cheerleader and support and be excited about them. I’ve recently started calling myself an “NDE Advocate” and I think that’s the most fitting label I’ve found so far =) ).

I’ve also grown in the faith or more like Knowing about life after death, and that the “little things” really are the “big things.” Kindness is so important…including with and starting with ourselves. When all the religions’ teachings basically boil down to “love one another” and when that same message is so strong from near death experiences, it really means something.

And that we have a purpose on this Earth. That the Earth is precious, nature is precious, and that we are nature; not separate or “lording over it” it.

So overall, the amazing knowledge of NDEs has made me: happier, more trusting in life, more compassionate and kind, more humble and able to laugh at myself, and more empathic and eager to put myself in others’ shoes.

Q: What’s the most valuable information that you have learned?

Ned: 1. We never die; we are eternal and have existed long before this current human life.

2. Love, experience and knowledge are what we take with us; they are the things that matter most.

3. The little things are the big things. Having wealth or high intelligence or other bragging rights are not about having them and gloating over them or comparing ourselves to others; gifts like this are meant to be shared with the world. For each of our unique gifts and talents can help others in some way. That’s the value and the importance we have in life.

4. Everything we do is recorded and comes back to us. So those trying to take advantage of anyone, regardless if your peers or family tends to judge/look down on certain groups of people as “normal”/status quo in society today or in the past, should heed this and know that we’re all equal and we’re all in this together. Even those in other countries or from other ethnic backgrounds or religions (including atheism, which is kind of an unofficial religion with its strong dogma and beliefs).

5. Religions talk about this as well as NDErs: What matters is our intentions. What were we doing and WHY? We may have scolded someone, but it was because we cared about them and wanted to ensure they heeded our warning (like a child crossing the street without looking). We maybe didn’t know that there was a better way to express this care and concern than scolding at the time, since older generations tended to use physical force like hitting with rulers in school or spanking, etc. as the norm. When people die and they have a life review, they realize how they impacted everyone around them. And they are not judged; but our intentions lay naked before all today. Were we really trying to be our best selves in that situation, or were we trying to be sneaky and get away with something, using lies or a false mask to make it look like we were the good guy on the surface? Common ethical situations that we all face every day on Earth. Just reading about the Navy SEAL commander who was killing random innocents and how he threated his team to keep quiet and promote him as a war hero. Acts and intentions like that will be seen for who and what they really are, even if people may fall for the appearance here and believe the lies for a time while still on Earth.

Q: What changed in your lives like becoming a vegetarian or perhaps exercising or whatever might have changed your ways to live?

Ned: The more I’ve learned about NDEs, I’ve become plant-based/vegan, but this is not solely from NDEs but also seeing how destructive the global meat industry is on the planet (cutting down square miles of rainforest in the Amazon for example, to plant soybeans that will feed cows for cheap Big Macs in the developed world). Incredibly destructive and wasteful to biodiversity and life on this planet, and irresponsible. Also honoring my body as my temple more and giving it exercise and foods and smoothies that nourish it. No longer drinking alcohol for the most part, after seeing how destructive and aging it is on the body.

Q: What about how you worship? Has your thoughts or beliefs changed?

Ned: I used to be an atheist and sort of an agnostic. Now I KNOW there is a Great Spirit, Higher Power, God, Source, whatever label – it’s way beyond any labels. All the human labels in the world don’t hold a candle to God. I know that God is in all things and to be more mindful of how I live in the little moments in each and every day. To honor even a bird on the sidewalk, or a bug on a tree. To see that hunting for sport (not practical use with good intentions) is harmful and irresponsible.

Q: What about family life, are you closer now? Are you a better parent or teacher? Do you listen more now? Are you more tolerant or less?

Ned: My family is a little complicated. I’m more detached from my dad, which is healthy for me, as there is some lack of understanding there and even abuse and judgment. He even chides me for my interest in near death experiences, saying that it’s a morbid topic and for people who are depressed with no future, and that I shouldn’t focus on death. He doesn’t get it :). But I hold no anger or resentment towards him. And I love my mom and sister too. I think as time goes on, I’m finding soul family too. Friends and “family” in spiritual communities who I really feel at home with and understanding with. And like for many experiencers, these new “soul tribes” become just as important, and part of our family. I am more tolerant of my family overall, and of people in general. But I also now put up boundaries where I feel is healthy, where in the past, I didn’t even know the concept of healthy boundaries, and would let people use me or treat me unfairly.

Q: How would you wrap up your thoughts?

Ned: The last thing I want to say is just a reminder that 1) intention is key; putting loving, honest intention into action is key in life 2) everything we do matters; don’t waste your life feeling like you have no purpose, or value, or worth. Find your heart and do what brings you peace and excitement, even if, or especially if it’s something that you were afraid others might judge you for. Eventually you will find people who love the more authentic real you. 3) Life is about love, and also play. Being silly is just as important as getting down to business at times.

Q: Do you have a contact to offer to readers and what is the website for them to visit?

Ned: Find me in the Facebook Near Death Experiences group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/returnfromdeath

Ned

I want to thank you, Ned, for taking your valuable time to share yourself and become vulnerable with the world. May you achieve the highest goal that you are intended to reach. Thank you so very much.