In 1998, after spending 25 years of calling myself a “born again Christian,” (1973) my actual accepting of the term and proudly wearing their banner, decided to move onward to a new belief adventure in 1998.
As a child (before 1973) in 1962 I attended The Episcopalian Church with my mother and father and thank god we never beat people’s spirits down to make or cause them to believe in Christ. We never significantly or proudly boasted, “I led this one to the lord.”
No Episcopalians are cool and unpretentious and I should have remained one as they are less tiring and wearisome on others peacefulness. However, I am far past their teachings now and into my own beliefs and I am content.
But… onward I forged by myself exploring all little crooks and crannies that I was told, “don’t go into that place. Demons are there!” And they (the ones saying this crap) growled worse than any demon could do so. Some of those Christians were and are pretty scary. Yes they are and I was once just like them. I didn’t like me then.
I am glad that Christ is nothing like that. In my recent death experience, the being that might have been him (Christ) was behind me while on my journey through space and the galaxies into the universe and universes. He, if it was him, sat joyfully telling The Elohim how to place the nebulous in the universe. He was like an interior designer of the entire outside space. He was extremely happy and laughed a lot. If this was Christ He didn’t jump out there and say, “praise the lord… you better believe in me or else.”
Nope. The happy fellow was humble, trusting, not pushy, kind, non accusatory and very comforting. He was very much unlike any church other than The Episcopalians. He’s far from their (church goers) appearances or behaviors. I think he’s happy with the Episcopalians though. I think that he is most like them, if he identifies with any church organization.
Now in 1998, I went back to the things that I grew up with and loved.
Number one: astrology. Gods map of vibrational forces throughout the earth compared to the solar system.
FYI about astrology, you realize that once we are off the earth and time stops 24/7 then the heavenly vibrational forces change. Astrology changes and a new unknown measurement begins again.
Now I will take you off my beaten track to a story about aliens. Please stay with me on my journey.
A Christian therapist led me on a regression or a hypnotic therapy session. It was many years ago (late 1950’s) that I was haunted by visions of beings who visited my father (a mechanical engineer who designed missiles, rockets and ammunition) during the Vietnam War. They, the beings seen by me) were not of this earth.
During my regression, I was being taken back to meet them. However when I arrived in this time, back to the 1950’s or 1960’s, they were forceful and told me to leave. I was not invited. They used their arms and hands to tell me to leave, “now.”
So I left quickly. I then met up with Jesus and the two Mary’s. We began walking together on an old rocky road in the warm Sun. Jesus Christ was walking next to me as the two Mary’s walked behind us. They were praying and quiet.
The walking behind by the two women wasn’t because of a superiority that Jesus being a male had. No it was designed this way for the prayers to be completed and effective.
We walked and talked. Jesus had met me outside of the aliens den. He said, “come with me.” So I gathered my thoughts and being and went with him and the two ‘Mary’s.
He said that he understood my thoughts and dilemma and that he was turning me over into the company of some good friends of his, “The Magi.” He said that I would be safe there and that I should trust them and learn everything that I could.
I said, “yes, but they are about astrology and the unseen world and that’s wrong, evil, of the devil, etc.”
He said, “ you will be fine. You will learn under them now. You’ve learned everything that you can from me. Trust me.”
I said, “okay, I will believe you and trust you.” I proceeded in the direction he led me. On stone stairways leading down into the turquoise waters away from The Sun, descending into the beautiful ocean.
He and the two Mary’s left me as I went down into deep waters into the place of Atlantis. I was there looking at the monuments and recognized my heritage, my beginnings. I was home.
He (Jesus) brought me home!
I was freed from the church and all their harshness. Their yelling and cruelty was now behind me. I could now live my life free from condemnation and guilt.
Jesus smiled and said you are apart of them. Go now. The three left me swimming amongst the depths of the ocean 🌊 and within Atlantis.
From this point my real experience began.
1 Samuel 8
The people (Israelites) demand there be a king.
Humans want/need to place someone in charge. They have an innate want/need to elevate someone, to admire someone and to follow someone. We are like the mammals on earth. We think lowly and have not risen to the place needed for progression beyond mammals.
I believe this is part of the animal nature within humans and is not the best for the earth. But… humans aren’t there. We haven’t risen to the place of where, no kingships are needed. History proves this over and over again.
The Neanderthal gene 🧬 is continuing to influence our human thinking. We think and behave like animals. We don’t take care of anything such as our planet. We admire wrong things on earth or the things that tear the earths gifts away such as oxygen. We love looking up to those (any of those) who are willing to be scrutinized by others. We are selfish and the Roman Colosseum truly isn’t that distant from our past.
Well initially when Ned Matinnia started this line of conversations on the near death experience page, I gave a greeting knowing later that I would add my few cents into the conversation and I would share a little bit about what I know and experienced as a fact. Not a guess but for absolute truth and to pledge allegiance in the Supreme Court that what I write here and now is the truth. Mine.
I was 7ish in 1958-9 and I was the youngest of two older sisters.
My father had been in WWII in the Air Force and served as a Navigator on a bomber.
After the war he graduated from Georgia Tech in mechanical engineering and graduated with honors. He was then employed by the government of The USA to design missiles and rockets for Morton-Thiokol.
He had married my mother and had two other daughters (my sisters) before me and had lived in Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, New Orleans (when I was born), San Francisco, Tulsa Ok, Marshall Tx, Longview Tx, Shreveport La, and back to Longview Tx.
Well I was in third grade when daddy started mentioning UFOs to me. For Christmas he bought me a telescope and sine he had been a Navigator, my father knew the stars in the sky.
His father died early and had been a Methodist minister. From him, my father knew scriptures. And also my favorite, astrology. My father was pretty good with understanding astrological angles and houses.
He taught me about the stars often as we stood outside on our street in the country in East Texas nights. There he told to me his top secret stories at MT thinking that I wouldn’t remember, after all, I was a kid. I wouldn’t remember anything. Daddy wasn’t a kid person but he tolerated me. I listened.
Now my father was not an excitable man and he was not a blow hard braggart. No he was the opposite in character.
However, I must add, a good looking woman could move him but, not his employment. That was top secret.
I remember he and I discussing myths, astrology, religion and aliens. Those were my favorite nights that I can remember.
He always said it would be ignorant to state that we were the only beings of humanoid or of similar intelligence. Perhaps more. He was quiet when saying this as he knew this trait could be a problem for mankind in our future.
As time went on, daddy had witnessed lights surrounding him at a launch pad. He had a camera and a male witness. They were both flown to DC for a debriefing.
“Shut up. You didn’t see anything.”
So he talked more to me, the kid who couldn’t remember. I was his safe place. I never spoke as a child. Hell… he wouldn’t let us talk. Perhaps that had something to do with being Top Secret and being told to Shut up. Maybe.
The Project Blue Book people visited our home. He strongly disliked them. Oh daddy murmured cursing words when they came around. Under his breath, of course. He didn’t like them. He told me they lie all the time. They can’t be trusted.
My father had given me a rock or stone with strange properties. It was a stone and sat in my pawn. When manipulated the stone stretched out and became a silver string. If scrunched up again, it would become a stone/rock again. The rock stayed with us for many years. After his death the stone disappeared.
I think mother gave it away. She was angry at him and me. She gave it away.
Now back to me and my father talking about the universe in the road. The nights were cold and we never had any strange lights as he looked for them often.
It was at this time that during the night while I slept alone, I had 3-4 visitors in my bedroom closet. They came only at night.
They were tall, cloaked with hoods, dark materials and I was to afraid to look at them. I looked away. They were not friendly. I was paralyzed. I would pee in my bed. One mean ugly one threatened me. He told me if I yelled or screamed it would be bad for me. I shut up. They came a few times. Not sure more than once, perhaps two or three times in my life.
Later on my daughter explained that when we came to visit and she was little they came to her as well. She said they threatened her brother. He was two and half years younger than she. She was sevenish. The same age a s me.
Much later, he died in 1983 from cancer. He chose never to not to speak to me ever again. He died.
In the later years since 2014, I have captured many UFOs 🛸 on my cell phone. I have photographed UFOs 🛸everyday ( almost).
I did loose an hour in time once while getting ready for work. However, while drinking coffee on the back porch at 0445, my daughter and I watched lights come up over the trees 🌳 towards us. That morning I got a call from my work.
“Bonnie what are you doing? Are you coming to work today?” Supervisor
“Yes,” I said.
“Well what time are you going to be here?” Supervisor
“I don’t know. What time is it now?” I replied.
“It’s 0715.” Supervisor said.
“Omg! I am an hour late!” I was yelling as we awakened early that morning just to sit outside and have coffee.
I had no memories of the missing time. Non.
An hour of time was missing. The year was ~2005. It’s somewhere.
So now please welcome this handsome man Ned Matinnia.
So… Thank you Ned for agreeing to share your story with The World on my webpage. It’s a pleasure to have you stop in for a visit! You are a very interesting person and I am sure everyone would love to hear your experiences, as well as, hear about all of your hobbies. The astrologer and the medium, as well as, being an engineer are intriguing professions. What a combination. You remind me of my father’s interests.
Q: How about a little bio as to your profession, age, married? Tell us a little bit about yourself.
Ned: I’m in my early 30’s right now and single. In fact, for the vast majority of my life, I’ve been alone. The emotionally abusive childhood I endured (and my extra-sensitive nature) had such an impact that I was scared of people for many years, with social anxiety and feeling like I wasn’t as good as anybody else. In recent years that has started to change.
For work, I’ve been a software engineer as I’ve always loved computers and technology. It just so happened to be a great career path for me as well. But over time, I’ve been branching into spiritual work, such as astrology/numerology (both, as they just so happen to neatly dovetail into each other – supporting the same message). And even mediumship readings. This has been an area where I’ve been building my experience and confidence with. It took many psychics, mediums, and intuitive friends to tell me out of the blue: “You are a medium. You can do this,” before I began to open to the idea that I could really do this. It can be scary to start out, not knowing if what you’re saying makes any sense whatsoever to your client. But, oftentimes it does in wonderful ways that I could never have expected.
A daily labor of love I’ve had is tending to and cultivating the Near Death Experiences public group on Facebook with my co-admin Katie. Now with almost 33,000 members, I never would have expected this to happen. But I think it’s a sign of the times, and people are wanting answers beyond the often cryptic or trite religious answers, and beyond the (mainstream) scientific “veil of atheism/materialism” (the two tend to strongly tie to each other in intellectual circles).
Q: How have you grown after being around NDEs or having an experience?
Ned: I’ve come a long way from the often-hopeless agnostic or even atheist that I used to be. I’ve always loved science and figuring things out and understanding how things work and why. Science naturally is that realm of knowledge and understanding based on study, observation, and evidence/data.
But to someone who is really hurting emotionally in life, or who feels like life is meaningless, and that life is some f’d up crazy circus (like the typical headlines on the news), science only told me that life is an accident and that there is no meaning or purpose.
Many people would list their loved ones, family, and friends as the things that make them happiest; well, at the time, I had none of those. I had a typical family yes, but I didn’t deeply feel connected to them. I don’t want to sound cold at all. But I felt like my heart and feelings were just somewhere else, and no one around me, family included, could nurture or support that in the deeper way that I needed. Sometimes feeling like an alien here on Earth.
Fast-forward to when I learned about near death experiences for the first time. I had come across an article on the internet I think about them. And eventually had found and read Life After Life by Dr. Raymond Moody. I watched videos of interviews of experiencers, so moved and amazed at what they were sharing. I felt like….this is the reason to live. This explains it. This goes where (at least mainstream) science has yet to open its closed eyes. This also explains things in a way that religions (all of them) haven’t been able to fully connect I felt. Actually having people who die, watch their bodies, hear the people around them, sometimes even feel those peoples’ emotions or know their private thoughts, and then to sometimes meet deceased loved ones they had never even heard about or seen photos of in their ancestry….to people remembering why they chose to come to Earth in the first place…it was to me like the Jackpot.
Since then, I attended my first IANDS Conference (International Association for Near Death Studies) in 2012, in Scottsdale, Arizona. I got to meet and see “NDE celebrities” (I use that word loosely and playfully; it’s not about ego or putting people on pedestals, but I like to be a sort of cheerleader and support and be excited about them. I’ve recently started calling myself an “NDE Advocate” and I think that’s the most fitting label I’ve found so far =) ).
I’ve also grown in the faith or more like Knowing about life after death, and that the “little things” really are the “big things.” Kindness is so important…including with and starting with ourselves. When all the religions’ teachings basically boil down to “love one another” and when that same message is so strong from near death experiences, it really means something.
And that we have a purpose on this Earth. That the Earth is precious, nature is precious, and that we are nature; not separate or “lording over it” it.
So overall, the amazing knowledge of NDEs has made me: happier, more trusting in life, more compassionate and kind, more humble and able to laugh at myself, and more empathic and eager to put myself in others’ shoes.
Q: What’s the most valuable information that you have learned?
Ned: 1. We never die; we are eternal and have existed long before this current human life.
2. Love, experience and knowledge are what we take with us; they are the things that matter most.
3. The little things are the big things. Having wealth or high intelligence or other bragging rights are not about having them and gloating over them or comparing ourselves to others; gifts like this are meant to be shared with the world. For each of our unique gifts and talents can help others in some way. That’s the value and the importance we have in life.
4. Everything we do is recorded and comes back to us. So those trying to take advantage of anyone, regardless if your peers or family tends to judge/look down on certain groups of people as “normal”/status quo in society today or in the past, should heed this and know that we’re all equal and we’re all in this together. Even those in other countries or from other ethnic backgrounds or religions (including atheism, which is kind of an unofficial religion with its strong dogma and beliefs).
5. Religions talk about this as well as NDErs: What matters is our intentions. What were we doing and WHY? We may have scolded someone, but it was because we cared about them and wanted to ensure they heeded our warning (like a child crossing the street without looking). We maybe didn’t know that there was a better way to express this care and concern than scolding at the time, since older generations tended to use physical force like hitting with rulers in school or spanking, etc. as the norm. When people die and they have a life review, they realize how they impacted everyone around them. And they are not judged; but our intentions lay naked before all today. Were we really trying to be our best selves in that situation, or were we trying to be sneaky and get away with something, using lies or a false mask to make it look like we were the good guy on the surface? Common ethical situations that we all face every day on Earth. Just reading about the Navy SEAL commander who was killing random innocents and how he threated his team to keep quiet and promote him as a war hero. Acts and intentions like that will be seen for who and what they really are, even if people may fall for the appearance here and believe the lies for a time while still on Earth.
Q: What changed in your lives like becoming a vegetarian or perhaps exercising or whatever might have changed your ways to live?
Ned: The more I’ve learned about NDEs, I’ve become plant-based/vegan, but this is not solely from NDEs but also seeing how destructive the global meat industry is on the planet (cutting down square miles of rainforest in the Amazon for example, to plant soybeans that will feed cows for cheap Big Macs in the developed world). Incredibly destructive and wasteful to biodiversity and life on this planet, and irresponsible. Also honoring my body as my temple more and giving it exercise and foods and smoothies that nourish it. No longer drinking alcohol for the most part, after seeing how destructive and aging it is on the body.
Q: What about how you worship? Has your thoughts or beliefs changed?
Ned: I used to be an atheist and sort of an agnostic. Now I KNOW there is a Great Spirit, Higher Power, God, Source, whatever label – it’s way beyond any labels. All the human labels in the world don’t hold a candle to God. I know that God is in all things and to be more mindful of how I live in the little moments in each and every day. To honor even a bird on the sidewalk, or a bug on a tree. To see that hunting for sport (not practical use with good intentions) is harmful and irresponsible.
Q: What about family life, are you closer now? Are you a better parent or teacher? Do you listen more now? Are you more tolerant or less?
Ned: My family is a little complicated. I’m more detached from my dad, which is healthy for me, as there is some lack of understanding there and even abuse and judgment. He even chides me for my interest in near death experiences, saying that it’s a morbid topic and for people who are depressed with no future, and that I shouldn’t focus on death. He doesn’t get it :). But I hold no anger or resentment towards him. And I love my mom and sister too. I think as time goes on, I’m finding soul family too. Friends and “family” in spiritual communities who I really feel at home with and understanding with. And like for many experiencers, these new “soul tribes” become just as important, and part of our family. I am more tolerant of my family overall, and of people in general. But I also now put up boundaries where I feel is healthy, where in the past, I didn’t even know the concept of healthy boundaries, and would let people use me or treat me unfairly.
Q: How would you wrap up your thoughts?
Ned: The last thing I want to say is just a reminder that 1) intention is key; putting loving, honest intention into action is key in life 2) everything we do matters; don’t waste your life feeling like you have no purpose, or value, or worth. Find your heart and do what brings you peace and excitement, even if, or especially if it’s something that you were afraid others might judge you for. Eventually you will find people who love the more authentic real you. 3) Life is about love, and also play. Being silly is just as important as getting down to business at times.
Q: Do you have a contact to offer to readers and what is the website for them to visit?
Ned: Find me in the Facebook Near Death Experiences group:
I want to thank you, Ned, for taking your valuable time to share yourself and become vulnerable with the world. May you achieve the highest goal that you are intended to reach. Thank you so very much.
Welcome! On the bottom of my blog is a link to the radio program.
I want to thank Nori, Aage, and Tom who were the radio panel of hosts. You three were kind, supportive and wonderfully interested.
I noticed, on YouTube, that 179 people have viewed the radio program (that I gave my experience in heaven). And… out of 179 views only 20 have liked it.
I have been told by family that my NDE changed me. I have more confidence now. Others have complimented me and asked me to defend them as an attorney (lol. What a wonderful compliment). I have not watched it as I will pick myself apart and one day, I will.
Well this made me curious and doubtful about myself When I saw the lack of likes. I asked, what is wrong.
Then I remembered that my death experience was not about any religious experience on earth. And because it is not of any beliefs, it leaves one with a walking away, scratching the head. Yep.
This scares people.
For your fears, I am sorry that you have this element of knowledge within (programed) you. I once had that too. I remember.
But know, as I said in the beginning of the radio program… this is… “My experience. It’s mine and not yours”.
So… no fears. Okay?
So here’s the link to the radio program. My date was on May 15, 2019 should this link not take you to my interview.
Thank you for visiting!
The feathered white pheasant’s tail was broken yet she flew anyway
And on the horizon swooping low was the mouth of the dragon
Yelling and pointing, “Go South!” Pleasant friend rigorously showing the way
Yet smoother than vanilla ice cream drifted the angel fairies just enjoying the day
All is well by the looks of the spectacular blue skies! What humans think 🤔
And the people in the clouds roll their eyes in utter quandary at thoughts of beings
A sigh is heard from the leader. Pausing breathes and pulses from the cloud kingdom
Just waiting for the Moon 🌚 and not being seen to loudly or heard silently, but dreaming realities of Tolkien an TS Eliot
Can’t wait to show Jacob about this world above our heads and inside our hearts that leaves one day when we become mankind.
Now, I am given messages that are to the point and not so much of what anyone (including me) wants to know. Why? Because they are scary messages and unpopular.
My first intense message came while driving this week. I believe it was on Monday May 6, 2019. Though the date is not sure.
The message came into my head. Not audibly heard but was dramatically felt. I spoke it into my cell phone recorder. It was so intense. I recorded it and then had to erase it as it was too strong for me to give.
I knew what I heard was right, but who would want to know this … ? Why do I have the information now? Why? These are a few of the questions I ask.
The message is about human dna and beliefs. It (the messenger) told me that we humans are beings that must have beliefs in something. In anything. We are not programmed nor are puppets or playthings but we have a nature that is unlike aliens and is odd to those in control of our world or universe.
We must believe in a supreme winning power. We must feel as though we are good conquers. We are competitive even in our beliefs. The emotions are more animal than alien.
Aliens are often artificial intelligence or AIs. The AIs have no thoughts about feelings or beliefs.
Humans are strange and odd. Humans care about death and birth and afterlives. Aliens of AI have zero feelings about any of that. Non.
This is one reason that Stephen Hawking said he feared any alien visitations. He thought it best to not invite them for a very good reason… AIs aren’t human.
Since my death I have experienced internal messages. I have always considered myself fairly psychic; however, what I am feeling now is over the top of my experiences and as I said before, I am fairly psychic.
Having my Moon in Cancer is a pretty good indication of intuitive gifts operating within me plus other astrological natal signs as well. But, my death experience truly opened the internal mailbox and information flies by me. I grab what I think is important and have the energies for conquering. And the one I am going to share with you came to plop down in the passenger seat of my car and was loud and fairly clear.
Now onto beliefs.
It doesn’t matter what we believe. However, our destiny (past death), is about fulfilling the innate belief we so gravitate towards. We must believe in something.
So there are numerous systems on earth from Christianity to Judaism, Muslim to Buddha and anything else from Gnosticism to atheism to witchcraft.
Humans must believe in something otherwise we struggle with psychological issues such as depression. We gain a sense of not belonging (to something) if we don’t participate in something.
Political parties are also part of the belief systems. The belonging to an organization gives humans a pat on the back and a sense of pride when attending. Contributing to mankind in whatever platform feels best for each individual is an emotional need for mankind no matter what race, location or whatever or whomever they are. Humans must have a place in life. They must serve and will give to their degree of honor of their kinship or kingship.
Our beliefs do not have anything to do with love. Our beliefs can annihilate others, can save some, and can feed a country. Sometimes we do good things and sometimes bad when using our beliefs. Love is rarely the beneficial movement within the ingredients of beliefs. Power, ego and control are the contributing factors usually.
So why am I being told this stuff? And what am I supposed to do with it? I don’t know.
I am guessing now.
Perhaps if we knew this about ourselves we could or would stop killing others in the name of our gods. Or would we…
Perhaps we would or could be more tolerant of others. Maybe…
Perhaps the big picture includes all humans.
Not just one …
Why was I told? What am I supposed to do? How can I help? All of this is mind boggling to me.
Once again I have the pleasure of introducing you to a friend that I gained after my death in February of this year 2019.
I sought the help of Hiroumi after he was referred to me by another person who had a death experience but unlike mine. He felt Hiroumi would be the one who could help me, and he, my friend, was correct. I am amazed by the knowledge and integrity of this man Hiroumi.
So without another minute of me writing and talking let me introduce to you, Hiroumi Sunagawa.
Each obtains the intended experience. My youth death experience and return was odd. Most of what happened was far beyond my child-mind’s ability to process. I think that is why the decision to withhold memory of all of it occurred and was only given a partial recall 18 years later.
When given that partial recall, I remembered, and saw the part where the memory withholding decision was made. I asked questions about this and was told I would recall some of the missing gaps as I lived life, and some gaps I would never recall while here on earth.
As gaps were restored, each one only occurred when I was spiritually ready and prepared to accept. Each time of a gap restoration caused me to have to fully review all of what I recalled.
The gap restorations are still occurring. On the average, it’s been around one gap restoration every seven years or so; although there were several restorations within just a few years time, and those were intensely mind-boggling.
I have come to the conclusion that the entire set of events of death and return and all that occurred on that foreign seashore and dunes was carefully preplanned and prepared specifically as a “reservoir” made accessible to me only as I moved forward in wanting to come to deeper comprehension.
There have been times where I read multiple spiritual books and then months later, after accessing additional insight, a gap restoration would happen. None of it was “forced” upon me. Every step has required my will to move forward. This is part of the design specifically for me as an entity, because of the core nature of my inner need.
About ten years ago, during meditation, I was shown how I ended up on earth and why it was necessary for my entity to experience multiple cycles.
I was shown that each soul that chooses their very first non-fully-spiritual realm for material incarnation is provided an utopian cycle that mirrors many of the spiritual characteristics of divine ways. And this “first experience” would create a sense of a “material Home”, an attachment to that world that exists within a chosen universe.
Eons ago, it was determined that there was no suitable world within my “home universe” for the lessons I needed to experience for deeper understanding. What I was shown was being “transferred“ to this universe, and being “temporarily assigned” to earth.
It was then that I was given the nickname of “The Traveler”, a nomadic soul without a permanent home. I was also shown that I held no position or authority in this universe because it was not my original assigned universe. I was, indeed, only visiting for experience.
There is more to the story, but this is sufficient to show that each of us are unique and each of us have experiences presented for our uniqueness’s needs.
Where to find Hiroumi Sunagawa…
Thank you sooo very much Hiroumi Sunagawa for allowing me to share your thoughts with others. It is my hope that all of us can understand what happens to we humans post our deaths from this world.
This evening in the USA I have the privilege of posting another person who has had a near death experience or a death experience many years ago.
My guests name is John Scott and he has some specific thoughts about his experience. John asks that we just listen and not state that he is the gospel about death experiences but just be open as he doesn’t want to cause problems with anyone.
And John, I understand what you are saying here. Thank you for your bravery.
I am excited about posting John’s story as it is much like my own and that means that we both had scientific experiences.
Okay let’s move forward and say… hello to John!
And here is Johns experience based on a focal point of experience.
“This is more a post than a question. A warning, do not quote this post as gospel or ‘your’ truth, it’s not, it’s my truth. So often people misquote other’s versions or take stuff out of context.
This post may challenge a few. That’s not my concern really, ever since I had my NDE I’ve upset more people than I can remember from day one, as they have ‘beliefs’ that they tend to cling onto rather than be open to this experience. I ended up becoming a recluse for half my life after my experience, rarely sharing anything to do with my experience until 2012.
I’ve experienced people literally explode in anger at simple thought forms that differ from theirs; amazing, such is the power of ‘beliefs’.
The content of this post is more to do with the structure of the source light itself, its role and purpose in the larger picture if any.
When I say ‘larger’ I mean the universe itself, which is infinite; a word so often bandied around without a second thought. Infinite is infinite, never ending. We as humans tend to think linear, beginning and end with a process in the middle, this is in error, everything is cyclical-infinite.
Not only do we think linear, we exclude/edit vast amounts of accessible information, trillions of other entities also reside in the universe, yes Ets including other entities in other dimensions beyond the physical. I don’t want to scare anyone, but we are primitive primates compared to many of these other entities.
Recently another poster mentioned that the light ‘knew everything’, I disagree from a much subtler philosophical based off my own NDE.
It’s almost if not impossible to describe the source light because it is everything and nothing simultaneously, that’s what I saw; a conundrum full of dualistic opposites within one united energy field on every level of cognition.
The source light used the term ‘us’ during the telepathic dialogue again; one simple word opens vast discourse into what ‘us’ actually means? I’ve spent a long time cogitating that one.
The sheer amount of info was/is staggering so just collating the information into a cognitive format is difficult, people so often want a quick fix or pill. Each word brings up more questions, challenges, and rebuttals.
One of these conundrums if not all, I’m still struggling with 30 years later. I saw the source light was the oldest ‘entity’ and yet like a baby **simultaneously that needs to know more hence this post.
Q: So how does this source light learn from or through us if at all?
Creation is a pregnant word, when I say creation we open another can of worms as some assume a spontaneous combusted creation according to a particular mythology. There are many mythologies globally that completely differ that need to be respected, however, I’m not a mythologist, I’m a NDEr.
I won’t post how we got here as this is extremely challenging for those who have religious/other beliefs. I’m personally not threatened as to how we got here; rather, I’m elated knowing we aren’t ‘alone’ in the universe.
Whilst in the light yes, the love is phenomenal, nothing like it can be experienced in this form as a human. Logic would denote that this ‘love’ pervades *all souls (there is a form of soul evolution also) that also come from the source. Soul evolution is hardly talked about, and this is where the root of the subject gets sticky. A soul is *not a solid thing, I’ve said this time and again on the forum. The soul can grow also, and in soul growth, this process is reserved for the ‘merge’.
This assumption that the light knows everything is not what I experienced due to the way the big bang and consciousness work as they don’t work in perfect tandem. The big bang happens first, then the source light expands into the void created by the explosion, hence the ‘light enters into darkness’ and it’s this void of darkness where all the ‘learning’ takes place. When we as an entity reach an evolutionary stage, meaning our vessel (body) is capable of having source light within, then and only then the process of learning or growth for source light begins.
We as humans have awareness and this awareness is unique say to animals or insects, plants, they too have awareness, but not like ours. Our soul evolution has reached an evolutionary level to enable us to take back new knowledge to source.
I remember like yesterday probing the light, trying to ‘see through it’. I tried to pierce beyond to see if there was anything behind it, you know, something even more profound, nope.
That was the end of the line, it was home.
So whilst in the light, vast and I mean vast amounts of knowledge are just there (from previous entities who have discharged their experience into the light), I wasn’t asking initially, it was there for the understanding. I did ask eventually when I could settle my mind long enough to actually prompt a response.
The awe I had for the light was beyond words and yes, people may have their own billions of questions they’d pound at the light if given the opportunity, trust me, the experience is overloaded with the emotion of love and that is the answer to all questions, but we’re human, so we keep asking. We’re driven to ask questions and this process of ‘asking’ is also from the light itself.
It too asks questions and this process of ‘exchange’ or ‘sharing’ is often done during the review process for some, not all. I can’t answer for anyone else.
We hear so often the review is based around how we treated others, my review was nothing like that, I got to see multiple lives and how I arrived at this one. Yes, I’d been to the source *millions of times previously and again, this seems to challenge ‘one lifers’ no end, even going into cognitive denial and dissonance, anger even. It’s ok, it wasn’t YOUR experience, it was mine.
There is another process of which rarely anyone mentions and this is the process involving the merge. I won’t be discussing the merge at all, ever. Knowledge is power and in the wrong hands can be misused. A conversation came up in the forum, claiming the light ‘knows all’, and I offered my response which wasn’t to the liking of the poster, hence this post.
We are in a symbiotic relationship with the source light, it needs us and we need it.
Yes the light knows all, up to a point, which is beyond anything we can cognise, however, I wasn’t being a smart arse by challenging this philosophical assertion that the light knows all, it doesn’t. The light has the knowledge of a trillions big bangs before this one, but… still wants to learn, so re creates the universe in differing fractals each time.
The source light is infinite, it has **always existed, it is beyond time, space, gravity and resides both within and beyond its own creation. I personally and imo would place my semi beliefs into panentheism now, not to be confused with pantheism.
Google it for homework.
It’s this cosmological belief i.e. pan-entheism (transcendental and immanent) that allows a ‘separate’ creator aspect to its own creation like a barrier. This dialogue gets into heavy philosophical/metaphysical posits of subtlety that are very hard to describe let alone understand. The source light actually separates a fraction of itself as the purest form of unmanifested energy hence it is permanently apart from everything but still connected. This section of source light resides at 50 times the speed of light, that’s what it showed me..
This aspect @ 50 x is the part that is so pure, beyond anything we can cognise, hence when ‘new and only new information returns, it then allows that new to merge with it and remain. If nothing ‘new’ is evident, then that soul or segment will discharge a review (life) and then reincarnate into another body, not just human. All of this is done in love, there is no punishment, just learning and growth for both parties.
Everyone has something new, it may just be a tiny accidental discovery in one’s 80 year long life, but it’s enough to satisfy the source light.
It took me 25 years to even find the right questions to answer of which I’m posting here for free.
The source light knows everything, or it **seemed to know everything, but it still has its own growth phase, remember it is a perpetual baby and babies need growth, **new things, **new experiences and this is getting into some very, very esoteric areas that are really inconsequential when dealing with our mundane realities down here.
When the source light implodes or the universe eventually returns to pure form, it starts again, big crunch, big bang, infinite folks, infinite. Infinite growth and knowing, untold big bangs, infinite, so yes, the light seems to know everything, but it doesn’t because it keeps banging looking for new things, new experiences and fractals, which are infinite, nothing is stagnant, it is energy.
So if you want to make the creator happy? Go and create and make new things, accidents in play.
Rituals are boring, repetitive. Go and paint a painting, or make up a new song, a dance or anything.
It wants us to be like children and ask. The ‘asking’ is embedded so deeply in our soul we’ve forgotten. I wanted to make a longer post regarding our first mandate when humans arrived, if prompted, I will. It regards the origin of ‘naming things’ which was our first command.
new things, anything as long as love underpins your motive.
These are links to radio station shows that John has been a guest.
And one more radio program
Thank you John for agreeing to share your experience with my audience. Thank you so very much.
My Death Experience
So~ When I arrived in heaven or wherever I was, I was just there. No tunnels, no lights, no family or friends and no angels by my side. No music. Nothingness. Darkness and blackness. No sound, no telepathy… absolutely nothing.
I was in dark lights as I wasn’t on earth and I had no idea that I was gone nor missing or anything out of the ordinary death experience.
While dead for 20-30 minutes, I experienced total blackness. It was non-memorable. When I started breathing once again and oxygen was-back in my system, my thoughts returned.
I have come to the conclusion that memories, thoughts, and experiences are created by using oxygen. Earth, oxygen and time are interconnected and oxygen is the main ingredient for the creation of memories and dreams, out of body rememberances and anything that we can fathom and remember on earth.
Otherwise, without oxygen there are no memories. And I must say that I was given this piece of knowledge after my death experience.
Now bear in mind that I am deaf and I asked them (whom, I never saw) if I needed to hear and it said, “I don’t think so. You’ll be fine. You’ll see.” And I was fine without hearing and this too was shown to me.
So off we ventured first to witness the physical properties of the earths dirt. The elements, the bacteria, the microscopic quantum universes below us and the intricate makeup of the physics held within the pebbles of sands, soils, gems, silvers and golds beneath our feet 🦶.
I was then taken to the earths relics and there I read hieroglyphics and inspected each object. From Peru to Mexico to Egypt To Sumerian culture, I was shown our human experience and our beginnings.
From there I returned to the Cleansing Pool to be cleansed again for ascension.
(My Cleansing Pool where in my heaven I went before ascension could take place. The talk Asian man was very kind, soft spoken (though our thoughts were telepathic) and assured me that I was not in hell. I think that he was familiar to me.)
At some point in their time, I was introduced to our alien forefathers. Alien DNA. I don’t know if all humans come from the same alien species. However, I doubt it. There was a room of (I think) five (5). They said “hello” and I was satisfied and asked no more questions. Ugh 😑with my lack of questions.
After the meeting, I was off with a being that was unseen. We traveled through out the universes. To The Pleiades, to Orion’s Belt and onwards to the outer of the universes.
I was shown binary codes that I couldn’t read yet they said that I could. They showed me star charts and I was amazed.
Also the outer of the universes was in front of me. The Elohim was creating a nebulous or something. The perimeter of the universes was made of Fibonacci designs. The designs were intricate and spoke to me telepathically. They were busy.
I sat on the side of something as far away as the moon 🌚 is to the earth 🌎 and watched the Elohim making this enormous masterpiece in space. Magnificent work and experience.
I asked about what was outside the universes. I was told that its dangerous for humans and that we wouldn’t return if we left.
The word phagocytes (white blood cells devour unwanted bacteria in the human body) came to me. I knew that I must not venture there.
During the entire time I spent in heaven , I heard the voices of my children in their upper thirties and my sister calling me home. They said , “come home, its not your time.” So I chose to return.
“The death angel “ lingered for eleven days.
And this is the basis of my experience. I know that I got way ofd topic. My apologies .
My brain is still in recovery from lack of oxygen. Anoxia. I am progressing to completeness and am lacking in recalling words, but have increased positive traits such as mathematics since my death experience.
Thank you for reading
My drawing of my death experience on the edge of the universes. At the top I labeled “phagocytosis” as for humans to leave our universes came a warning ⚠️
The Fibonacci grew all over the edges and it created electromagnetic energies that communicates with the entire universes and supplies energies needed.
It seems to me that our universes make up the upper lobe of a lung or perhaps I misinterpreted the idea. It seems right.
My life changed in February 2019. There is no turning back. All my beliefs changed as my experience showed life in its reality and whom god is to mankind. What tomorrow brings to you or me is unknown but something will happen and we are unaware until that force occurs. The most important lesson learned in February 2019 is love. God is love and nothing more. It doesn’t judge or criticize you or me. It doesn’t sit on a throne in heaven but can be found in the cells of all things whether living or not. So tomorrow pick a wildflower and look into its living force and when you peer know the divinity that you see. When you look at a stray dog or cat, know that you are watching the cells of god moving in our lives. Look at the truths surrounding you and leave behind any false dogmas. Know that heaven is not anything like earth and nothing resembles the stories that mankind has uttered for thousands of years. Nothing.
Please understand that poetry writing is difficult for me since my incident last month. Anoxia has robbed my memory though every day I am getting better. Writing poetry makes me think. I don’t want to write any, but it’s a great exercise for my memory.
Scrambling five mornings a week
For toasts, showers, clothing, lipstick, and my purse
Starting a car without the keys
Where did I put them, dear god, help! Please
Evening arrives on time, each eve
Cooking, forget cleaning, I’m up to my knees
Can’t someone assist, can’t they see me, geez!
Lord I need help with living, dear god, please
Years pass, and I’ve held things in disarray, it seems
Time has flown by and there’s nothing I have achieved, for me.
Compliments come in for my nothings, I’ve truly deemed.
Rolling my eyes about living and it’s all a confusing dream.
So February comes and it’s cold outside.
Loosing breath one night fighting hands that slide.
As if someone is choking me, slipping out of this place
Somewhere else I awakened with no time, like a space
No memory of children, pets or my homely mess.
In a place of intriguing beauty and experience.
At Pleiades, then Orion’s Belt, up and away from there.
Suddenly ~ while transporting~ I almost convulsed
The magnificence is overwhelming, as his smiling joy, couldn’t wait To show me the revelations of heaven
The gifts made just for me
And I thank him for all that he is blessing me.
With my questions answered about the universes and living after death
And in reverence I thank him for all glorious things, I have seen
I waved back and off I went
To the voices calling me home that afternoon.
I knew we’d meet again one time in my future
But now I know that my earthly frustrations are part of my heaven
And arriving home I smiled at my homely disappointments
My sadness now joy
Looking at the mess
Breathing in and out without being strangled
And yes, I am forever grateful to Him who smiles
And gave me my life with new and brighter eyes
March 10 @2019
Someone sent a message to me asking a question. My response is this;
Death is individual created for all of us as heaven is, as well.
It is my opinion and not based on fact, the harder the death, the more someone loved their life and didn’t want to leave Earth.
So, this is why I say, death is created for each individual to have them leave their bodies.
In my case, death was hard. It was though, I was being strangled and death was frightening until I collapsed into nothing. There were no memories of that time. Maybe 20-30 minutes.
When I awakened 2 days later in icu, I was in and out of a coma. It was when the oxygen and time returned that I began to remember or see heaven then.
Heaven is created for each individual as I said. That’s why some people have deeply religious experiences and others have their hearts or beliefs experiences.
My love in life has been creation of The Earth, the galaxies, aliens and supernatural beings, relics, ancient cultures, mankind’s origins and mathematical physics, patterns and anything oddly different and interesting.
In the past (late 1990’s) I had been a “born again Christian” and got rid of all the things that I loved, mentioned above. After the late 90’s after leaving the church, I found and followed fearfully my own beliefs.
I found out during my recent death experience that God (small word for the creator) loved me just as I am.
In heaven he/she showed me everything that I love. I found out that I am okay where I am at with the creator.
So I hope that I answered your questions.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I so much appreciated reading 📖 the words written.
Thank you, I hope that I have helped.
Yes, I died. I flatlined. I had no pulse and no breath.
My son called EMS and my daughter got to my house before EMS.
That being said, I went without oxygen for a while and when you read my post here on WordPress, it might be confusing as my brain was/is anoxic.
So I will post some of my experiences in heaven.
First I was taken to The Cleansing Pool
There was a tall lean Asian male there with a large hat on. He was stirring brains inside the pool surrounded by many large volcanoes 🌋
I asked, “am I in hell?”
Quietly he said, “no. You are at The Cleansing Pool. Here you cleanse your mind from negative thoughts.”
I looked at all the thousands of brains in the pool.
Mind to mind he said, “these are the bad thoughts in others. Yours are here now too.”
There was no memory of loosing my bad thoughts. There was no pain.
He said, “you cannot ascend until you are clean.”
I think that I went often there to the pool within my journey to heaven.
Suddenly I am brought to look at The Earth. The dirt was shown at a magnified distance. It got closer and closer. In the dirt I saw shiny brilliant objects. I saw atoms, protons, neutrons and shiny objects. Gold, silver and another universe held in quantum physics and very much alive.
We moved on. I was with someone but I don’t know who. I didn’t ask but was comfortable.
We went to the surface of Earth and saw all the relics, monuments, artifacts of Egypt, Per, Mexico and Sumerian. I was amazed.
From Pinterest. I chose this as part of the Earth’s Fibonacci design. It’s very deep, very interesting and a bit scary.
I then asked, “who are humans gods? Who made us?”
I think we went to the Cleansing Pool.
Then I saw several non human beings. I understood. These were the gods.
Then, I was instantly at The Pleiades, at Orion’s Belt and there I said, “oh please, keep me within The Milky Way.”
And nope! Off we went to the outer perimeter of the universe or universes.
There is where I saw The Elohim (Hebrew for gods. Plural) creating the universe.
My symbol for The Elohim.
On the parameter of the universes there is a bundle like a baby bundle that holds us tightly together. It is charged with magnetic energies and it is made of The Fibonacci Code or designs.
These designs are alive and growing rapidly. They wanted me to watch and they wanted me to see what they were making.
I got these images from Pinterest and altered the colors some. Heaven has different colors and I cannot remember to show you what they are. I wish that I could remember. Mesmerizing indeed. I had to look away from the designs many times as it is all consummating and a bit scary as we’ve never seen anything like this on Earth.
Here are some of the images from Pinterest.
I wish that I could tell the artists who drew these how I think they are close to what I saw, though the colors are different.
Okay one last very memorable experience I had while in the heavens.
I saw binary codes. I don’t read the codes so I wondered why they showed me.
But what I think they might mean is this. The codes have earths dates, and names of people. The gods, angels, supernatural beings or whatever they are can travel here to us at any date and time.
The codes are used for time travel. Then recorded code information is folded onto each other just like when scientists say the universes bend together and traveling in the universes becomes a shorter distance. This is the same physical principle for binary codes and time traveling.
Okay… thank you for baring with my writing if you read this.
I appreciate your reading this. Questions are appreciated and I will get back to you as soon as I can.
Many thanks 🙏🏼
BoJenn March 10, 2019
Boy what a ride
Thank you Jordan Maxwell for showing me the correct Hebrew interpretation
But, I don’t want to follow you
I had to share my note about this poem so that next year when FB asks if I remember writing this I can say, yes, that was the time in winter (cold for us in East Tx 2019)that our heat and air conditioning caught fire 🔥 and staying in my home because of my animals during the low temperatures was crazy! But, it was a huge learning experience. This poem reflects my thoughts in the middle of the 5 days of freezing 🥶… the last line reveals my anger towards God or Elohim one of our gods.
Freezing hands, they are cold
The air from my mouth and nostrils is weak
The capturing of the sun goddess took time
But, it was accomplished like an animal in knots
A trap allures by temptations and it’s death slow
Why do you do this to the ones you love, master
Is your child utterly vicious and cruel
You let him have its way, huh?
You allow its perverse pleasures to manifest
You are the good one, right? Can you not be trusted?
Have you no strength or parenthood principles
Stop it! Stop it now! For you are the father of our lights.
You are the one song about throughout the land.
Stop your children from doing harm
Please, my hands are cold.
My breath is weak.
And life is moving on
But I pray that I’m not with you
BoJenn winter 2019
Weaving awkward words unbelievably infiltrated by a source
Who has bent reasonable human consciousness and time
Organizing underneath hidden conversations of the elite
Dictating to mankind frightening beliefs of death and scheol
Creating fear and hatred, and intolerance by falsifying lies
Freedoms eliminated; intelligence dissipated; imaginations empty
Colliding human beings, bending core character, remains nothingness
Grievances uninhabitable; the loneliness of the angelic godhead sits
Found are words that bend ears into manifestation matrix ideologies
Their pat verbiage we’ve acutely hypnotized and weaved like experts
Awaken to your own thoughts that were given to you so graciously
To hold them as yours and shan’t ever change a thing eternally
Your being is your gift; do not give it away; as you’re not a whore
Now stay where you’re at. Don’t move and eat only the finest fruit
Stay far from repeating their verbiage that binds you eternally
Speak you, and only you, and do it in love, for the Matrix will vaporize
Do not judge the fallen, but turn from that universe, and offer your hands
It’s not a place for survival. No.
The terrain is rugged and the waves are ferocious.
Learning to swim is mandatory for survival.
However the atmosphere is compelling me to open my wings and fly from the verbiage and voices of earth.
I must accomplish this
One task at a time
BoJenn @December 13, 2018
Perspectives about how life works and occurs for humans and animals and living cells are different for all humans. Every person has a different concept of their belief system unless that dogma as been hammered into a soul over time, and presently governs that person. For example phrases in conversation like “Praise the Lord!” Or “Bless you,” and “I’ll pray for you,” are judged by the circle of the congregation of “Believers.” Also, the New Age Yoga word, “Namaste,” follows another type of believer who feels their need to express their beliefs and so that word, too, becomes a word meant for dogmatic control and protection from an offensive adversity.
The point I am making is this: We become so easily swayed/manipulated because we desire and want rulership and/or governorship by a “King,” or a dogmatic belief that says we are accepted, loved and fit into the large scope of the kingdom of people.
Is it possible to think outside these rules that govern the above and ask questions? Is it possible that we are driven to the place of DOGMA for a reason?
Is it possible, now ask yourself “possible” that we are controlled by ideas, rules, thoughts, sayings, words, phrases, magnetic energies of one, that govern us in such away. It is from somewhere else our designated and herded lives and circumstances assigns to our lives rewards with wealth or poverty. We accept this as truth and do not cross over the lines drawn in the invisible sands in less we are atheist and believe that only we ourselves control the universe or our surroundings.
We are afraid to ask this force or question the intentions of familiarity to a religion or political group or any ideology because of the fear of going to hell or dying a horrific death or being cast out of a society.
I write this above because my story of events are based on the above dogmatic beliefs, fears and control. I want you to know that I serve a loving God who is supportive of me personally and is happy when I go beyond the lines drawn in invisible vague old rotten shells and sands.
My next story will be about my childhood experiences with my father, a mechanical engineer, who designed missiles, rockets, ammunition, and had encounters of the third and fourth kind in the late 1950’s, 60, and 70’s. From his experiences came mine. Perhaps this is the reason I am able to photograph odd flying images. Or UFOs 🛸
There seemed to be several points on this ufo. Maybe 5-6 and I was bare eyed without glasses on.
The image disappeared at the end around 2025 cst USA
6.5.18. I got the original date wrong because I’ve been working nights and my internal calendar is screwy