In 1998, after spending 25 years of calling myself a “born again Christian,” (1973) my actual accepting of the term and proudly wearing their banner, decided to move onward to a new belief adventure in 1998.
As a child (before 1973) in 1962 I attended The Episcopalian Church with my mother and father and thank god we never beat people’s spirits down to make or cause them to believe in Christ. We never significantly or proudly boasted, “I led this one to the lord.”
No Episcopalians are cool and unpretentious and I should have remained one as they are less tiring and wearisome on others peacefulness. However, I am far past their teachings now and into my own beliefs and I am content.
But… onward I forged by myself exploring all little crooks and crannies that I was told, “don’t go into that place. Demons are there!” And they (the ones saying this crap) growled worse than any demon could do so. Some of those Christians were and are pretty scary. Yes they are and I was once just like them. I didn’t like me then.
I am glad that Christ is nothing like that. In my recent death experience, the being that might have been him (Christ) was behind me while on my journey through space and the galaxies into the universe and universes. He, if it was him, sat joyfully telling The Elohim how to place the nebulous in the universe. He was like an interior designer of the entire outside space. He was extremely happy and laughed a lot. If this was Christ He didn’t jump out there and say, “praise the lord… you better believe in me or else.”
Nope. The happy fellow was humble, trusting, not pushy, kind, non accusatory and very comforting. He was very much unlike any church other than The Episcopalians. He’s far from their (church goers) appearances or behaviors. I think he’s happy with the Episcopalians though. I think that he is most like them, if he identifies with any church organization.
Now in 1998, I went back to the things that I grew up with and loved.
Number one: astrology. Gods map of vibrational forces throughout the earth compared to the solar system.
FYI about astrology, you realize that once we are off the earth and time stops 24/7 then the heavenly vibrational forces change. Astrology changes and a new unknown measurement begins again.
Now I will take you off my beaten track to a story about aliens. Please stay with me on my journey.
A Christian therapist led me on a regression or a hypnotic therapy session. It was many years ago (late 1950’s) that I was haunted by visions of beings who visited my father (a mechanical engineer who designed missiles, rockets and ammunition) during the Vietnam War. They, the beings seen by me) were not of this earth.
During my regression, I was being taken back to meet them. However when I arrived in this time, back to the 1950’s or 1960’s, they were forceful and told me to leave. I was not invited. They used their arms and hands to tell me to leave, “now.”
So I left quickly. I then met up with Jesus and the two Mary’s. We began walking together on an old rocky road in the warm Sun. Jesus Christ was walking next to me as the two Mary’s walked behind us. They were praying and quiet.
The walking behind by the two women wasn’t because of a superiority that Jesus being a male had. No it was designed this way for the prayers to be completed and effective.
We walked and talked. Jesus had met me outside of the aliens den. He said, “come with me.” So I gathered my thoughts and being and went with him and the two ‘Mary’s.
He said that he understood my thoughts and dilemma and that he was turning me over into the company of some good friends of his, “The Magi.” He said that I would be safe there and that I should trust them and learn everything that I could.
I said, “yes, but they are about astrology and the unseen world and that’s wrong, evil, of the devil, etc.”
He said, “ you will be fine. You will learn under them now. You’ve learned everything that you can from me. Trust me.”
I said, “okay, I will believe you and trust you.” I proceeded in the direction he led me. On stone stairways leading down into the turquoise waters away from The Sun, descending into the beautiful ocean.
He and the two Mary’s left me as I went down into deep waters into the place of Atlantis. I was there looking at the monuments and recognized my heritage, my beginnings. I was home.
He (Jesus) brought me home!
I was freed from the church and all their harshness. Their yelling and cruelty was now behind me. I could now live my life free from condemnation and guilt.
Jesus smiled and said you are apart of them. Go now. The three left me swimming amongst the depths of the ocean 🌊 and within Atlantis.
From this point my real experience began.
1 Samuel 8
The people (Israelites) demand there be a king.
Humans want/need to place someone in charge. They have an innate want/need to elevate someone, to admire someone and to follow someone. We are like the mammals on earth. We think lowly and have not risen to the place needed for progression beyond mammals.
I believe this is part of the animal nature within humans and is not the best for the earth. But… humans aren’t there. We haven’t risen to the place of where, no kingships are needed. History proves this over and over again.
The Neanderthal gene 🧬 is continuing to influence our human thinking. We think and behave like animals. We don’t take care of anything such as our planet. We admire wrong things on earth or the things that tear the earths gifts away such as oxygen. We love looking up to those (any of those) who are willing to be scrutinized by others. We are selfish and the Roman Colosseum truly isn’t that distant from our past.
Welcome! On the bottom of my blog is a link to the radio program.
I want to thank Nori, Aage, and Tom who were the radio panel of hosts. You three were kind, supportive and wonderfully interested.
I noticed, on YouTube, that 179 people have viewed the radio program (that I gave my experience in heaven). And… out of 179 views only 20 have liked it.
I have been told by family that my NDE changed me. I have more confidence now. Others have complimented me and asked me to defend them as an attorney (lol. What a wonderful compliment). I have not watched it as I will pick myself apart and one day, I will.
Well this made me curious and doubtful about myself When I saw the lack of likes. I asked, what is wrong.
Then I remembered that my death experience was not about any religious experience on earth. And because it is not of any beliefs, it leaves one with a walking away, scratching the head. Yep.
This scares people.
For your fears, I am sorry that you have this element of knowledge within (programed) you. I once had that too. I remember.
But know, as I said in the beginning of the radio program… this is… “My experience. It’s mine and not yours”.
So… no fears. Okay?
So here’s the link to the radio program. My date was on May 15, 2019 should this link not take you to my interview.
Thank you for visiting!
Now, I am given messages that are to the point and not so much of what anyone (including me) wants to know. Why? Because they are scary messages and unpopular.
My first intense message came while driving this week. I believe it was on Monday May 6, 2019. Though the date is not sure.
The message came into my head. Not audibly heard but was dramatically felt. I spoke it into my cell phone recorder. It was so intense. I recorded it and then had to erase it as it was too strong for me to give.
I knew what I heard was right, but who would want to know this … ? Why do I have the information now? Why? These are a few of the questions I ask.
The message is about human dna and beliefs. It (the messenger) told me that we humans are beings that must have beliefs in something. In anything. We are not programmed nor are puppets or playthings but we have a nature that is unlike aliens and is odd to those in control of our world or universe.
We must believe in a supreme winning power. We must feel as though we are good conquers. We are competitive even in our beliefs. The emotions are more animal than alien.
Aliens are often artificial intelligence or AIs. The AIs have no thoughts about feelings or beliefs.
Humans are strange and odd. Humans care about death and birth and afterlives. Aliens of AI have zero feelings about any of that. Non.
This is one reason that Stephen Hawking said he feared any alien visitations. He thought it best to not invite them for a very good reason… AIs aren’t human.
Since my death I have experienced internal messages. I have always considered myself fairly psychic; however, what I am feeling now is over the top of my experiences and as I said before, I am fairly psychic.
Having my Moon in Cancer is a pretty good indication of intuitive gifts operating within me plus other astrological natal signs as well. But, my death experience truly opened the internal mailbox and information flies by me. I grab what I think is important and have the energies for conquering. And the one I am going to share with you came to plop down in the passenger seat of my car and was loud and fairly clear.
Now onto beliefs.
It doesn’t matter what we believe. However, our destiny (past death), is about fulfilling the innate belief we so gravitate towards. We must believe in something.
So there are numerous systems on earth from Christianity to Judaism, Muslim to Buddha and anything else from Gnosticism to atheism to witchcraft.
Humans must believe in something otherwise we struggle with psychological issues such as depression. We gain a sense of not belonging (to something) if we don’t participate in something.
Political parties are also part of the belief systems. The belonging to an organization gives humans a pat on the back and a sense of pride when attending. Contributing to mankind in whatever platform feels best for each individual is an emotional need for mankind no matter what race, location or whatever or whomever they are. Humans must have a place in life. They must serve and will give to their degree of honor of their kinship or kingship.
Our beliefs do not have anything to do with love. Our beliefs can annihilate others, can save some, and can feed a country. Sometimes we do good things and sometimes bad when using our beliefs. Love is rarely the beneficial movement within the ingredients of beliefs. Power, ego and control are the contributing factors usually.
So why am I being told this stuff? And what am I supposed to do with it? I don’t know.
I am guessing now.
Perhaps if we knew this about ourselves we could or would stop killing others in the name of our gods. Or would we…
Perhaps we would or could be more tolerant of others. Maybe…
Perhaps the big picture includes all humans.
Not just one …
Why was I told? What am I supposed to do? How can I help? All of this is mind boggling to me.
My Death Experience
So~ When I arrived in heaven or wherever I was, I was just there. No tunnels, no lights, no family or friends and no angels by my side. No music. Nothingness. Darkness and blackness. No sound, no telepathy… absolutely nothing.
I was in dark lights as I wasn’t on earth and I had no idea that I was gone nor missing or anything out of the ordinary death experience.
While dead for 20-30 minutes, I experienced total blackness. It was non-memorable. When I started breathing once again and oxygen was-back in my system, my thoughts returned.
I have come to the conclusion that memories, thoughts, and experiences are created by using oxygen. Earth, oxygen and time are interconnected and oxygen is the main ingredient for the creation of memories and dreams, out of body rememberances and anything that we can fathom and remember on earth.
Otherwise, without oxygen there are no memories. And I must say that I was given this piece of knowledge after my death experience.
Now bear in mind that I am deaf and I asked them (whom, I never saw) if I needed to hear and it said, “I don’t think so. You’ll be fine. You’ll see.” And I was fine without hearing and this too was shown to me.
So off we ventured first to witness the physical properties of the earths dirt. The elements, the bacteria, the microscopic quantum universes below us and the intricate makeup of the physics held within the pebbles of sands, soils, gems, silvers and golds beneath our feet 🦶.
I was then taken to the earths relics and there I read hieroglyphics and inspected each object. From Peru to Mexico to Egypt To Sumerian culture, I was shown our human experience and our beginnings.
From there I returned to the Cleansing Pool to be cleansed again for ascension.
(My Cleansing Pool where in my heaven I went before ascension could take place. The talk Asian man was very kind, soft spoken (though our thoughts were telepathic) and assured me that I was not in hell. I think that he was familiar to me.)
At some point in their time, I was introduced to our alien forefathers. Alien DNA. I don’t know if all humans come from the same alien species. However, I doubt it. There was a room of (I think) five (5). They said “hello” and I was satisfied and asked no more questions. Ugh 😑with my lack of questions.
After the meeting, I was off with a being that was unseen. We traveled through out the universes. To The Pleiades, to Orion’s Belt and onwards to the outer of the universes.
I was shown binary codes that I couldn’t read yet they said that I could. They showed me star charts and I was amazed.
Also the outer of the universes was in front of me. The Elohim was creating a nebulous or something. The perimeter of the universes was made of Fibonacci designs. The designs were intricate and spoke to me telepathically. They were busy.
I sat on the side of something as far away as the moon 🌚 is to the earth 🌎 and watched the Elohim making this enormous masterpiece in space. Magnificent work and experience.
I asked about what was outside the universes. I was told that its dangerous for humans and that we wouldn’t return if we left.
The word phagocytes (white blood cells devour unwanted bacteria in the human body) came to me. I knew that I must not venture there.
During the entire time I spent in heaven , I heard the voices of my children in their upper thirties and my sister calling me home. They said , “come home, its not your time.” So I chose to return.
“The death angel “ lingered for eleven days.
And this is the basis of my experience. I know that I got way ofd topic. My apologies .
My brain is still in recovery from lack of oxygen. Anoxia. I am progressing to completeness and am lacking in recalling words, but have increased positive traits such as mathematics since my death experience.
Thank you for reading
My drawing of my death experience on the edge of the universes. At the top I labeled “phagocytosis” as for humans to leave our universes came a warning ⚠️
The Fibonacci grew all over the edges and it created electromagnetic energies that communicates with the entire universes and supplies energies needed.
It seems to me that our universes make up the upper lobe of a lung or perhaps I misinterpreted the idea. It seems right.
My life changed in February 2019. There is no turning back. All my beliefs changed as my experience showed life in its reality and whom god is to mankind. What tomorrow brings to you or me is unknown but something will happen and we are unaware until that force occurs. The most important lesson learned in February 2019 is love. God is love and nothing more. It doesn’t judge or criticize you or me. It doesn’t sit on a throne in heaven but can be found in the cells of all things whether living or not. So tomorrow pick a wildflower and look into its living force and when you peer know the divinity that you see. When you look at a stray dog or cat, know that you are watching the cells of god moving in our lives. Look at the truths surrounding you and leave behind any false dogmas. Know that heaven is not anything like earth and nothing resembles the stories that mankind has uttered for thousands of years. Nothing.
Please understand that poetry writing is difficult for me since my incident last month. Anoxia has robbed my memory though every day I am getting better. Writing poetry makes me think. I don’t want to write any, but it’s a great exercise for my memory.
Scrambling five mornings a week
For toasts, showers, clothing, lipstick, and my purse
Starting a car without the keys
Where did I put them, dear god, help! Please
Evening arrives on time, each eve
Cooking, forget cleaning, I’m up to my knees
Can’t someone assist, can’t they see me, geez!
Lord I need help with living, dear god, please
Years pass, and I’ve held things in disarray, it seems
Time has flown by and there’s nothing I have achieved, for me.
Compliments come in for my nothings, I’ve truly deemed.
Rolling my eyes about living and it’s all a confusing dream.
So February comes and it’s cold outside.
Loosing breath one night fighting hands that slide.
As if someone is choking me, slipping out of this place
Somewhere else I awakened with no time, like a space
No memory of children, pets or my homely mess.
In a place of intriguing beauty and experience.
At Pleiades, then Orion’s Belt, up and away from there.
Suddenly ~ while transporting~ I almost convulsed
The magnificence is overwhelming, as his smiling joy, couldn’t wait To show me the revelations of heaven
The gifts made just for me
And I thank him for all that he is blessing me.
With my questions answered about the universes and living after death
And in reverence I thank him for all glorious things, I have seen
I waved back and off I went
To the voices calling me home that afternoon.
I knew we’d meet again one time in my future
But now I know that my earthly frustrations are part of my heaven
And arriving home I smiled at my homely disappointments
My sadness now joy
Looking at the mess
Breathing in and out without being strangled
And yes, I am forever grateful to Him who smiles
And gave me my life with new and brighter eyes
March 10 @2019
Someone sent a message to me asking a question. My response is this;
Death is individual created for all of us as heaven is, as well.
It is my opinion and not based on fact, the harder the death, the more someone loved their life and didn’t want to leave Earth.
So, this is why I say, death is created for each individual to have them leave their bodies.
In my case, death was hard. It was though, I was being strangled and death was frightening until I collapsed into nothing. There were no memories of that time. Maybe 20-30 minutes.
When I awakened 2 days later in icu, I was in and out of a coma. It was when the oxygen and time returned that I began to remember or see heaven then.
Heaven is created for each individual as I said. That’s why some people have deeply religious experiences and others have their hearts or beliefs experiences.
My love in life has been creation of The Earth, the galaxies, aliens and supernatural beings, relics, ancient cultures, mankind’s origins and mathematical physics, patterns and anything oddly different and interesting.
In the past (late 1990’s) I had been a “born again Christian” and got rid of all the things that I loved, mentioned above. After the late 90’s after leaving the church, I found and followed fearfully my own beliefs.
I found out during my recent death experience that God (small word for the creator) loved me just as I am.
In heaven he/she showed me everything that I love. I found out that I am okay where I am at with the creator.
So I hope that I answered your questions.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I so much appreciated reading 📖 the words written.
Thank you, I hope that I have helped.
Yes, I died. I flatlined. I had no pulse and no breath.
My son called EMS and my daughter got to my house before EMS.
That being said, I went without oxygen for a while and when you read my post here on WordPress, it might be confusing as my brain was/is anoxic.
So I will post some of my experiences in heaven.
First I was taken to The Cleansing Pool
There was a tall lean Asian male there with a large hat on. He was stirring brains inside the pool surrounded by many large volcanoes 🌋
I asked, “am I in hell?”
Quietly he said, “no. You are at The Cleansing Pool. Here you cleanse your mind from negative thoughts.”
I looked at all the thousands of brains in the pool.
Mind to mind he said, “these are the bad thoughts in others. Yours are here now too.”
There was no memory of loosing my bad thoughts. There was no pain.
He said, “you cannot ascend until you are clean.”
I think that I went often there to the pool within my journey to heaven.
Suddenly I am brought to look at The Earth. The dirt was shown at a magnified distance. It got closer and closer. In the dirt I saw shiny brilliant objects. I saw atoms, protons, neutrons and shiny objects. Gold, silver and another universe held in quantum physics and very much alive.
We moved on. I was with someone but I don’t know who. I didn’t ask but was comfortable.
We went to the surface of Earth and saw all the relics, monuments, artifacts of Egypt, Per, Mexico and Sumerian. I was amazed.
From Pinterest. I chose this as part of the Earth’s Fibonacci design. It’s very deep, very interesting and a bit scary.
I then asked, “who are humans gods? Who made us?”
I think we went to the Cleansing Pool.
Then I saw several non human beings. I understood. These were the gods.
Then, I was instantly at The Pleiades, at Orion’s Belt and there I said, “oh please, keep me within The Milky Way.”
And nope! Off we went to the outer perimeter of the universe or universes.
There is where I saw The Elohim (Hebrew for gods. Plural) creating the universe.
My symbol for The Elohim.
On the parameter of the universes there is a bundle like a baby bundle that holds us tightly together. It is charged with magnetic energies and it is made of The Fibonacci Code or designs.
These designs are alive and growing rapidly. They wanted me to watch and they wanted me to see what they were making.
I got these images from Pinterest and altered the colors some. Heaven has different colors and I cannot remember to show you what they are. I wish that I could remember. Mesmerizing indeed. I had to look away from the designs many times as it is all consummating and a bit scary as we’ve never seen anything like this on Earth.
Here are some of the images from Pinterest.
I wish that I could tell the artists who drew these how I think they are close to what I saw, though the colors are different.
Okay one last very memorable experience I had while in the heavens.
I saw binary codes. I don’t read the codes so I wondered why they showed me.
But what I think they might mean is this. The codes have earths dates, and names of people. The gods, angels, supernatural beings or whatever they are can travel here to us at any date and time.
The codes are used for time travel. Then recorded code information is folded onto each other just like when scientists say the universes bend together and traveling in the universes becomes a shorter distance. This is the same physical principle for binary codes and time traveling.
Okay… thank you for baring with my writing if you read this.
I appreciate your reading this. Questions are appreciated and I will get back to you as soon as I can.
Many thanks 🙏🏼
BoJenn March 10, 2019
Boy what a ride
Thank you Jordan Maxwell for showing me the correct Hebrew interpretation
Perspectives about how life works and occurs for humans and animals and living cells are different for all humans. Every person has a different concept of their belief system unless that dogma as been hammered into a soul over time, and presently governs that person. For example phrases in conversation like “Praise the Lord!” Or “Bless you,” and “I’ll pray for you,” are judged by the circle of the congregation of “Believers.” Also, the New Age Yoga word, “Namaste,” follows another type of believer who feels their need to express their beliefs and so that word, too, becomes a word meant for dogmatic control and protection from an offensive adversity.
The point I am making is this: We become so easily swayed/manipulated because we desire and want rulership and/or governorship by a “King,” or a dogmatic belief that says we are accepted, loved and fit into the large scope of the kingdom of people.
Is it possible to think outside these rules that govern the above and ask questions? Is it possible that we are driven to the place of DOGMA for a reason?
Is it possible, now ask yourself “possible” that we are controlled by ideas, rules, thoughts, sayings, words, phrases, magnetic energies of one, that govern us in such away. It is from somewhere else our designated and herded lives and circumstances assigns to our lives rewards with wealth or poverty. We accept this as truth and do not cross over the lines drawn in the invisible sands in less we are atheist and believe that only we ourselves control the universe or our surroundings.
We are afraid to ask this force or question the intentions of familiarity to a religion or political group or any ideology because of the fear of going to hell or dying a horrific death or being cast out of a society.
I write this above because my story of events are based on the above dogmatic beliefs, fears and control. I want you to know that I serve a loving God who is supportive of me personally and is happy when I go beyond the lines drawn in invisible vague old rotten shells and sands.
My next story will be about my childhood experiences with my father, a mechanical engineer, who designed missiles, rockets, ammunition, and had encounters of the third and fourth kind in the late 1950’s, 60, and 70’s. From his experiences came mine. Perhaps this is the reason I am able to photograph odd flying images. Or UFOs 🛸
GATHERING with Barbiel ~
And she was venturing in the forest
Going to fetch the fungi and moss
The girl searched the strathy floor
In the mystic Highlands of Scotland
Alone searching, seeking for notions
Prayerfully seeking wise advise
And there she sought wise Barbiel
The Angel of October, and asked ~
Where do the toadstools grow here?
Amid the dankness of the leaves?
“It is in October they prosper on trees”
Then Barbiel took his dousing rod to lead
“Come this way girl, and don’t meander…
I’ll teach you of autumn’s alchemy
And some other things,” he spoke kindly
Barbiel pointed to the medicinal fungi
Found under the wet decayed log
He held up a yellow October leaf
Inspected and said he, “just wait until it turns orange.”
And on their path of only mystics travel
Who wander questing of the dark forest
Finding a Fagus Beech Tree standing alone
He cracked the triangular nut offering
She ate the sweet fruits he gave her
Filling her basket with the kernels
Slowly continuing onward,‘old Barbiel taught as they passed forward
This the child maiden spent a day learning
From the tall burly angelic wisdoms
“When will I see you again?” She questioned
“I’m afraid, not until next October.” Said he.
“I’ll be here on the first next year!” She promised.
Then saying goodbyes ~ He departed.
She watched the sparkling winds dissipate
And long-suffered October’s date ~now fated
Barbiel – angel of October
©2016 Bonnie Jennings. All Rights are reserved
Thank you artists at Pixabay for your image
In the togths of the Grenberby
Hidden from sights of The Ogmims
A land of wonder, minuscule pleasures
Lives the Loras and the Bimblebergs
Green moss gangles from Birth Barsh
And the twithers feed off the valgus
Tis a plattif of seraphs and bees
In the togths of Grenberby
©2016 BJ All Rights Reserved
Royal blue, turquoise, yellow and brown
Pink florals, green ivy, and Dandelions
Pages with cursive filled with swiggly-swags
Sheer magic, delightful wonder, and words
Butterflies, crickets, shells, clouds and sky
And poetry inscribed charmingly so glace’
Keep The Sprites forevermore, never dies
Within the pages kept by butterflies
©2016 Bonnie Jennings. All Rights Reserved
Standing over Gethsemane, right hand bearing my sword
It was then, I called upon Hofniel, The mighty Fighter of the children of God
Asking, Hofniel will you defend him, the child in query? I asked.
And old Hofniel asked, “Which way ~ to the glory of battle fare friend?”
Bowing at the warring angel, whose strength ferociously tame
He thus tapped me on my shoulders saying, “Arise my faithful partner.
Do not falter in fear of dragons, but rather trust in childish faith.
And, yes, I will come to your battle, and lead you into the light.”
***Hofniel – The ruling angel of the bene Elohim; name means “fighter of God.”***
©2016. Bonnie Jennings. All Right’s Reserved
*Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Bonnie (Gay) Jennings, or Bojenn or Bonnie Jennings with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The year was approximately 1978. I was flight attendant employed for Eastern Airlines and was working on a leg from Atlanta Ga. to San Jaun, PR. The first class cabin served one person that leg which is roughly 3.5 hours. The passenger was George H Bush, then The Director of The CIA and soon to be the USA republican candidate.
The aircraft was a Lockead L-1011. There were 28 seats in first class and he had occupied one. The secret service sat nearby behind him and in front of second class.
I was his personal F/A (flight attendant) that day. I was in my mid twenties and extremely ignorant of politics. But, I did know The Bible fairly well as I’d read it a few times from cover to cover.
It was hot that day and I remember that Mr Bush looked disheveled from his campaigning. He had been sweating and his white shirt was hanging out of his trousers from the back. He took a F/C seat and sighed from release from traveling. I offered him a cocktail but he requested iced tea. He sat quietly and relaxed before takeoff.
I served him his meal and put the supplies away. After my service he asked me for a bible.
“Yes,” I said. “We have a Gideans in the overhead bin.” So, I handed it to him and he opened it.
“Please, sit down. Do you have a minute?” Mr. Bush was a complete gentleman. And, he was reading my favorite book.
Delighted, l sat down.
“What do you know about Ezekial and the valley of dry bones?” He has piercing eyes.
I gave him a 25 year old response trying to sound brighter than my knowledge basis. “It’s about the war of Armageddon.”
“Yes, it is. Let’s read it.” He opened to chapter 37. He began to read out loud as I listened intently. “And, what do you think this means.” He was so kind and looked lovingly as if I was a daughter.
Mr. Bush and I finished through to the 39th chapter and perhaps into the first part of 40…
A few hours later, It was time for landing. Sadly, the conversation had come to an end.
I will never forget this time I spent with George H Bush.
Silence is golden it’s been said.
When God talks to you, the body and mind come into one unit of sheer joy during the synchronization of the two separate parts of a person. Some have called this meshing of energies, “Goose bumps.” Anyway we see or experience God’s communication, it is an awe inspiring moment and during that moment life seems to stop. Life matters no more because the coming together or the meeting of our minds to God’s is beyond words, expressions or explanation. When it occurs, time dissipates and what is or remains, is a moment of pure clarity with The Mind and thoughts of Gods.
So weirdly, at age 62, I dreamed, last night that I was pregnant. I felt terrified because, I knew, after experiencing child labor two times in my earlier years, I wasn’t physically able to birth this child that I was carrying. I looked down at my belly. It was huge! The skin around my umbilicus was tight and round. It was a 9 month pregnancy round. I looked up at God who said nothing, but He continued to work like a grand old surgeon does. And then, my first birth pang began. Horrified and vulnerable to His plans, I had no choice, but to surrender. God let them start. The thoughts of not only did I realize that I couldn’t physically give birth at 62, but the mental and emotional aspect for parenthood and raising another child was beyond my capabilities. The energy needed was greater than my reserves. I whispered back to God and said, “Please, no, I can’t do this.”
It, the birthing process, began anyway. God did not stop this birth. He didn’t speak to me, nor have eye contact. His internal presence and His will was understood by a fearce impression of I know that I know and there are or were no if this, and that, nor any whining persuasions using the words, but God.The horror of it all was before me and I knew what I had to endure His plan no matter what. I said, then, Knock me out! And the next thing I saw was an epidural needle. They placed it in my back after they rolled me to the side. I fell deeply asleep.
I awakened this morning at 0400, as I usually do, and remembered nothing, but that I felt happy. By the time 0600 came the memories of this dream began to creep back. I noticed my abdomen is unusual feeling. It is at this time, I realized that God whispered something to me in the night hours. Something occurred. I must wait, listen and heed as His whispers are revealed.
I suspect He has told me, that no matter how big the circumstance appears, I will go through it and even if I do not understand all things, it must happen. For our ways are not His. Trusting Him is the only way. There is no negotiation, no complaining, no pouting, no refusal at this stage of the game of life.
Authenticity ~ Are we? Are we our real selves or do we hide behind labels, titles, beliefs or gods? Real; Am I, or are you? Do you believe that God wants us to be real (our true selves) or something that is described in a book or at church? Belief systems often tell us how we should be or look. Maybe TV, or a televangelist, or an ancient religious texts or thoughts from our grandparents, or something that we have studied and sought to achieve, may have influenced our choices. These avenues of influence that we adapt, but we aren’t necessarily supposed to become, overcome and mask the real you and I. So, the question is: Are we wearing a mask or have we adapted to a mold that is not intended for self?
The reason this scripture was chosen is for the reason of sometimes authenticity costs us discomforts and safety. We risk a secure part of nature that we’ve hidden from our true self behind a mask. It is cozy there and no one will judge us if we look and talk like the pack. We won’t be rejected, or disliked by fellow humans. It costs us something because we loose our authentic self and God sees us lost in another mans designs. Someone may throw a stone at us. This is not comfortable. So, as we work jobs we were not created for, or participate in activities that aren’t like our spirits we loose our authenticity…
Finding our authentic self takes years, but it is possible. It’s who you were made to be… You are unique and created for something greater than expected…. You already know this.
I don’t have to talk the same as you, nor do you have to think like me either. I don’t have to dress like you either, nor do you have to look like me. As a matter of fact, we can resemble Renoir or the opposite, Picasso.
You are free to be yourself. Please, don’t look like the guy on tv, and please, don’t talk like her either. I might judge you wrongly.
We all judge. It is innate, intuitive, god given and it is protective. However, while deducing a circumstance or person subtract your personal possibilities of error from the equation. Figure out the percentage of miscalculations or delusions that are made within your assumptions and subtract them from your/my judgements.
Deducing renders grace and mercy. The two are not in the absolutes of black or white judgements. Grace and Mercy are found in grey ares.
Then, I consider killers and murderers. I think they are subject to God’s hands; I’m not equipped to see the whole picture, lucky for them.
My lessons in learning. “They labelled me a witch that day and I cried. Sadly, had it of been in the 1600’s or there about, they would have burned me at the stake.”
Dreaming and being apart by choice from the one who loves unconditionally in the rotten state of purification, he restores to His vine a fruit with fragrant blossoms.
What have I learned while sojourning the dead?
Most men are dead though they believe they live and life is found in belief and relationship to the creator. There is no life separate from him and he does not condemn. The serving of “other gods” are my wondering thoughts that do not allow His enlightenment. For in every topic on earth, God is. And, He is knowledgeable about everything including the forbidden subjects. He still teaches me and I am grateful.
The only judgement is that of ourselves and non other, unless of course, I’ve worn their shoes for a lifetime. Judgement arises from fear of that which is not understood.
Stairway To Heaven Led Zeppelin
The scripture I’ve chosen is one of those lines that can condemn; however, I’m going to apply it in a positive manner and only point it at me, myself and I. This will be one of those times one can write about the self and hopefully not have too many “sighs.”
So here goes my application of applied self to scriptures that can condemn.
It is no surprise that when I read this passage it clearly explained that teaching, preaching or giving scriptures to others are meant first for the self and if (this one in particular) directed at someone else is judgmental.
Having written this above statement please note that the verses mean something to me as well as others and is there for individual interpretation for self reflection. In other words, the meaning and content will be individually comprehended and the message given to me will not necessarily mean the same to you.
So I thread lightly when giving the words and use them carefully for myself.
How often have I created harm rather than good in the name of God. The way that I now interpret God is far different than the way I felt 45 years ago, which was a condemner, and now, I see him/God in a masculine/feminine presence as a lover and encourager of mankind who loves all men and women no matter what their condition of their soul/ego maybe sojourning. Because he loves me, just as I am, so I know he too, loves you, as well.
So, having said all this, God and I begin again. This is my second day to reunite with my lord.