Ned Matinnia; Near Death Moderator, Mediator and Medium


Hello and welcome to my blog or my stumbling on life using scribbles. We’re glad you made it!

Today, I am introducing you to another FB friend who is the administrator over numerous Near Death Experience groups. He will share some of his personal story, as well as, his fascinating life as an astrologer, a medium, and an engineer.

So now please welcome this handsome man Ned Matinnia.

So… Thank you Ned for agreeing to share your story with The World on my webpage. It’s a pleasure to have you stop in for a visit! You are a very interesting person and I am sure everyone would love to hear your experiences, as well as, hear about all of your hobbies. The astrologer and the medium, as well as, being an engineer are intriguing professions. What a combination. You remind me of my father’s interests.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/returnfromdeath

Ned and the bronze gentleman, is this statue one of Einstein, Ned?

Q: How about a little bio as to your profession, age, married? Tell us a little bit about yourself.

Ned: I’m in my early 30’s right now and single. In fact, for the vast majority of my life, I’ve been alone. The emotionally abusive childhood I endured (and my extra-sensitive nature) had such an impact that I was scared of people for many years, with social anxiety and feeling like I wasn’t as good as anybody else. In recent years that has started to change.

For work, I’ve been a software engineer as I’ve always loved computers and technology. It just so happened to be a great career path for me as well. But over time, I’ve been branching into spiritual work, such as astrology/numerology (both, as they just so happen to neatly dovetail into each other – supporting the same message). And even mediumship readings. This has been an area where I’ve been building my experience and confidence with. It took many psychics, mediums, and intuitive friends to tell me out of the blue: “You are a medium. You can do this,” before I began to open to the idea that I could really do this. It can be scary to start out, not knowing if what you’re saying makes any sense whatsoever to your client. But, oftentimes it does in wonderful ways that I could never have expected.

A daily labor of love I’ve had is tending to and cultivating the Near Death Experiences public group on Facebook with my co-admin Katie. Now with almost 33,000 members, I never would have expected this to happen. But I think it’s a sign of the times, and people are wanting answers beyond the often cryptic or trite religious answers, and beyond the (mainstream) scientific “veil of atheism/materialism” (the two tend to strongly tie to each other in intellectual circles).

Q: How have you grown after being around NDEs or having an experience?

Ned: I’ve come a long way from the often-hopeless agnostic or even atheist that I used to be. I’ve always loved science and figuring things out and understanding how things work and why. Science naturally is that realm of knowledge and understanding based on study, observation, and evidence/data.

But to someone who is really hurting emotionally in life, or who feels like life is meaningless, and that life is some f’d up crazy circus (like the typical headlines on the news), science only told me that life is an accident and that there is no meaning or purpose.

Many people would list their loved ones, family, and friends as the things that make them happiest; well, at the time, I had none of those. I had a typical family yes, but I didn’t deeply feel connected to them. I don’t want to sound cold at all. But I felt like my heart and feelings were just somewhere else, and no one around me, family included, could nurture or support that in the deeper way that I needed. Sometimes feeling like an alien here on Earth.

Fast-forward to when I learned about near death experiences for the first time. I had come across an article on the internet I think about them. And eventually had found and read Life After Life by Dr. Raymond Moody. I watched videos of interviews of experiencers, so moved and amazed at what they were sharing. I felt like….this is the reason to live. This explains it. This goes where (at least mainstream) science has yet to open its closed eyes. This also explains things in a way that religions (all of them) haven’t been able to fully connect I felt. Actually having people who die, watch their bodies, hear the people around them, sometimes even feel those peoples’ emotions or know their private thoughts, and then to sometimes meet deceased loved ones they had never even heard about or seen photos of in their ancestry….to people remembering why they chose to come to Earth in the first place…it was to me like the Jackpot.

Since then, I attended my first IANDS Conference (International Association for Near Death Studies) in 2012, in Scottsdale, Arizona. I got to meet and see “NDE celebrities” (I use that word loosely and playfully; it’s not about ego or putting people on pedestals, but I like to be a sort of cheerleader and support and be excited about them. I’ve recently started calling myself an “NDE Advocate” and I think that’s the most fitting label I’ve found so far =) ).

I’ve also grown in the faith or more like Knowing about life after death, and that the “little things” really are the “big things.” Kindness is so important…including with and starting with ourselves. When all the religions’ teachings basically boil down to “love one another” and when that same message is so strong from near death experiences, it really means something.

And that we have a purpose on this Earth. That the Earth is precious, nature is precious, and that we are nature; not separate or “lording over it” it.

So overall, the amazing knowledge of NDEs has made me: happier, more trusting in life, more compassionate and kind, more humble and able to laugh at myself, and more empathic and eager to put myself in others’ shoes.

Q: What’s the most valuable information that you have learned?

Ned: 1. We never die; we are eternal and have existed long before this current human life.

2. Love, experience and knowledge are what we take with us; they are the things that matter most.

3. The little things are the big things. Having wealth or high intelligence or other bragging rights are not about having them and gloating over them or comparing ourselves to others; gifts like this are meant to be shared with the world. For each of our unique gifts and talents can help others in some way. That’s the value and the importance we have in life.

4. Everything we do is recorded and comes back to us. So those trying to take advantage of anyone, regardless if your peers or family tends to judge/look down on certain groups of people as “normal”/status quo in society today or in the past, should heed this and know that we’re all equal and we’re all in this together. Even those in other countries or from other ethnic backgrounds or religions (including atheism, which is kind of an unofficial religion with its strong dogma and beliefs).

5. Religions talk about this as well as NDErs: What matters is our intentions. What were we doing and WHY? We may have scolded someone, but it was because we cared about them and wanted to ensure they heeded our warning (like a child crossing the street without looking). We maybe didn’t know that there was a better way to express this care and concern than scolding at the time, since older generations tended to use physical force like hitting with rulers in school or spanking, etc. as the norm. When people die and they have a life review, they realize how they impacted everyone around them. And they are not judged; but our intentions lay naked before all today. Were we really trying to be our best selves in that situation, or were we trying to be sneaky and get away with something, using lies or a false mask to make it look like we were the good guy on the surface? Common ethical situations that we all face every day on Earth. Just reading about the Navy SEAL commander who was killing random innocents and how he threated his team to keep quiet and promote him as a war hero. Acts and intentions like that will be seen for who and what they really are, even if people may fall for the appearance here and believe the lies for a time while still on Earth.

Q: What changed in your lives like becoming a vegetarian or perhaps exercising or whatever might have changed your ways to live?

Ned: The more I’ve learned about NDEs, I’ve become plant-based/vegan, but this is not solely from NDEs but also seeing how destructive the global meat industry is on the planet (cutting down square miles of rainforest in the Amazon for example, to plant soybeans that will feed cows for cheap Big Macs in the developed world). Incredibly destructive and wasteful to biodiversity and life on this planet, and irresponsible. Also honoring my body as my temple more and giving it exercise and foods and smoothies that nourish it. No longer drinking alcohol for the most part, after seeing how destructive and aging it is on the body.

Q: What about how you worship? Has your thoughts or beliefs changed?

Ned: I used to be an atheist and sort of an agnostic. Now I KNOW there is a Great Spirit, Higher Power, God, Source, whatever label – it’s way beyond any labels. All the human labels in the world don’t hold a candle to God. I know that God is in all things and to be more mindful of how I live in the little moments in each and every day. To honor even a bird on the sidewalk, or a bug on a tree. To see that hunting for sport (not practical use with good intentions) is harmful and irresponsible.

Q: What about family life, are you closer now? Are you a better parent or teacher? Do you listen more now? Are you more tolerant or less?

Ned: My family is a little complicated. I’m more detached from my dad, which is healthy for me, as there is some lack of understanding there and even abuse and judgment. He even chides me for my interest in near death experiences, saying that it’s a morbid topic and for people who are depressed with no future, and that I shouldn’t focus on death. He doesn’t get it :). But I hold no anger or resentment towards him. And I love my mom and sister too. I think as time goes on, I’m finding soul family too. Friends and “family” in spiritual communities who I really feel at home with and understanding with. And like for many experiencers, these new “soul tribes” become just as important, and part of our family. I am more tolerant of my family overall, and of people in general. But I also now put up boundaries where I feel is healthy, where in the past, I didn’t even know the concept of healthy boundaries, and would let people use me or treat me unfairly.

Q: How would you wrap up your thoughts?

Ned: The last thing I want to say is just a reminder that 1) intention is key; putting loving, honest intention into action is key in life 2) everything we do matters; don’t waste your life feeling like you have no purpose, or value, or worth. Find your heart and do what brings you peace and excitement, even if, or especially if it’s something that you were afraid others might judge you for. Eventually you will find people who love the more authentic real you. 3) Life is about love, and also play. Being silly is just as important as getting down to business at times.

Q: Do you have a contact to offer to readers and what is the website for them to visit?

Ned: Find me in the Facebook Near Death Experiences group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/returnfromdeath

Ned

I want to thank you, Ned, for taking your valuable time to share yourself and become vulnerable with the world. May you achieve the highest goal that you are intended to reach. Thank you so very much.

Radio; my death experience. Link included

Welcome! On the bottom of my blog is a link to the radio program.

I want to thank Nori, Aage, and Tom who were the radio panel of hosts. You three were kind, supportive and wonderfully interested.

Thank you!

I noticed, on YouTube, that 179 people have viewed the radio program (that I gave my experience in heaven). And… out of 179 views only 20 have liked it.

I have been told by family that my NDE changed me. I have more confidence now. Others have complimented me and asked me to defend them as an attorney (lol. What a wonderful compliment). I have not watched it as I will pick myself apart and one day, I will.

Well this made me curious and doubtful about myself When I saw the lack of likes. I asked, what is wrong.

Then I remembered that my death experience was not about any religious experience on earth. And because it is not of any beliefs, it leaves one with a walking away, scratching the head. Yep.

This scares people.

For your fears, I am sorry that you have this element of knowledge within (programed) you. I once had that too. I remember.

But know, as I said in the beginning of the radio program… this is… “My experience. It’s mine and not yours”.

So… no fears. Okay?

So here’s the link to the radio program. My date was on May 15, 2019 should this link not take you to my interview.

Thank you for visiting!

Mind Boggling Messages

One of my pictures last week

Now, I am given messages that are to the point and not so much of what anyone (including me) wants to know. Why? Because they are scary messages and unpopular.

My first intense message came while driving this week. I believe it was on Monday May 6, 2019. Though the date is not sure.

The message came into my head. Not audibly heard but was dramatically felt. I spoke it into my cell phone recorder. It was so intense. I recorded it and then had to erase it as it was too strong for me to give.

I knew what I heard was right, but who would want to know this … ? Why do I have the information now? Why? These are a few of the questions I ask.

The message is about human dna and beliefs. It (the messenger) told me that we humans are beings that must have beliefs in something. In anything. We are not programmed nor are puppets or playthings but we have a nature that is unlike aliens and is odd to those in control of our world or universe.

We must believe in a supreme winning power. We must feel as though we are good conquers. We are competitive even in our beliefs. The emotions are more animal than alien.

Aliens are often artificial intelligence or AIs. The AIs have no thoughts about feelings or beliefs.

Humans are strange and odd. Humans care about death and birth and afterlives. Aliens of AI have zero feelings about any of that. Non.

This is one reason that Stephen Hawking said he feared any alien visitations. He thought it best to not invite them for a very good reason… AIs aren’t human.

Since my death I have experienced internal messages. I have always considered myself fairly psychic; however, what I am feeling now is over the top of my experiences and as I said before, I am fairly psychic.

Having my Moon in Cancer is a pretty good indication of intuitive gifts operating within me plus other astrological natal signs as well. But, my death experience truly opened the internal mailbox and information flies by me. I grab what I think is important and have the energies for conquering. And the one I am going to share with you came to plop down in the passenger seat of my car and was loud and fairly clear.

Now onto beliefs.

It doesn’t matter what we believe. However, our destiny (past death), is about fulfilling the innate belief we so gravitate towards. We must believe in something.

So there are numerous systems on earth from Christianity to Judaism, Muslim to Buddha and anything else from Gnosticism to atheism to witchcraft.

Humans must believe in something otherwise we struggle with psychological issues such as depression. We gain a sense of not belonging (to something) if we don’t participate in something.

Political parties are also part of the belief systems. The belonging to an organization gives humans a pat on the back and a sense of pride when attending. Contributing to mankind in whatever platform feels best for each individual is an emotional need for mankind no matter what race, location or whatever or whomever they are. Humans must have a place in life. They must serve and will give to their degree of honor of their kinship or kingship.

Furthermore…

Our beliefs do not have anything to do with love. Our beliefs can annihilate others, can save some, and can feed a country. Sometimes we do good things and sometimes bad when using our beliefs. Love is rarely the beneficial movement within the ingredients of beliefs. Power, ego and control are the contributing factors usually.

So why am I being told this stuff? And what am I supposed to do with it? I don’t know. 

I am guessing now.

Perhaps if we knew this about ourselves we could or would stop killing others in the name of our gods. Or would we…

Perhaps we would or could be more tolerant of others. Maybe…

Perhaps the big picture includes all humans.

Not just one …

Why was I told? What am I supposed to do? How can I help? All of this is mind boggling to me.

Hiroumi Sunagawa, A Lesson From Death

Once again I have the pleasure of introducing you to a friend that I gained after my death in February of this year 2019.

I sought the help of Hiroumi after he was referred to me by another person who had a death experience but unlike mine. He felt Hiroumi would be the one who could help me, and he, my friend, was correct. I am amazed by the knowledge and integrity of this man Hiroumi.

So without another minute of me writing and talking let me introduce to you, Hiroumi Sunagawa.

Hiroumi Sunagawa

Each obtains the intended experience. My youth death experience and return was odd. Most of what happened was far beyond my child-mind’s ability to process. I think that is why the decision to withhold memory of all of it occurred and was only given a partial recall 18 years later.

When given that partial recall, I remembered, and saw the part where the memory withholding decision was made. I asked questions about this and was told I would recall some of the missing gaps as I lived life, and some gaps I would never recall while here on earth.

As gaps were restored, each one only occurred when I was spiritually ready and prepared to accept. Each time of a gap restoration caused me to have to fully review all of what I recalled.

The gap restorations are still occurring. On the average, it’s been around one gap restoration every seven years or so; although there were several restorations within just a few years time, and those were intensely mind-boggling.

I have come to the conclusion that the entire set of events of death and return and all that occurred on that foreign seashore and dunes was carefully preplanned and prepared specifically as a “reservoir” made accessible to me only as I moved forward in wanting to come to deeper comprehension.

There have been times where I read multiple spiritual books and then months later, after accessing additional insight, a gap restoration would happen. None of it was “forced” upon me. Every step has required my will to move forward. This is part of the design specifically for me as an entity, because of the core nature of my inner need.

About ten years ago, during meditation, I was shown how I ended up on earth and why it was necessary for my entity to experience multiple cycles.

I was shown that each soul that chooses their very first non-fully-spiritual realm for material incarnation is provided an utopian cycle that mirrors many of the spiritual characteristics of divine ways. And this “first experience” would create a sense of a “material Home”, an attachment to that world that exists within a chosen universe.

Eons ago, it was determined that there was no suitable world within my “home universe” for the lessons I needed to experience for deeper understanding. What I was shown was being “transferred“ to this universe, and being “temporarily assigned” to earth.

It was then that I was given the nickname of “The Traveler”, a nomadic soul without a permanent home. I was also shown that I held no position or authority in this universe because it was not my original assigned universe. I was, indeed, only visiting for experience.

There is more to the story, but this is sufficient to show that each of us are unique and each of us have experiences presented for our uniqueness’s needs.

Where to find Hiroumi Sunagawa…

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000804985663

For your pleasure another treat added for your relaxation.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nEbyR6377IY&feature=youtu.be

Thank you sooo very much Hiroumi Sunagawa for allowing me to share your thoughts with others. It is my hope that all of us can understand what happens to we humans post our deaths from this world.

Thank you,

BoJenn

John Scott, Death Experience

This evening in the USA I have the privilege of posting another person who has had a near death experience or a death experience many years ago.

My guests name is John Scott and he has some specific thoughts about his experience. John asks that we just listen and not state that he is the gospel about death experiences but just be open as he doesn’t want to cause problems with anyone.

And John, I understand what you are saying here. Thank you for your bravery.

I am excited about posting John’s story as it is much like my own and that means that we both had scientific experiences.

Okay let’s move forward and say… hello to John!

And here is Johns experience based on a focal point of experience.

John:

“This is more a post than a question. A warning, do not quote this post as gospel or ‘your’ truth, it’s not, it’s my truth. So often people misquote other’s versions or take stuff out of context.

This post may challenge a few. That’s not my concern really, ever since I had my NDE I’ve upset more people than I can remember from day one, as they have ‘beliefs’ that they tend to cling onto rather than be open to this experience. I ended up becoming a recluse for half my life after my experience, rarely sharing anything to do with my experience until 2012.

I’ve experienced people literally explode in anger at simple thought forms that differ from theirs; amazing, such is the power of ‘beliefs’.

The content of this post is more to do with the structure of the source light itself, its role and purpose in the larger picture if any.

When I say ‘larger’ I mean the universe itself, which is infinite; a word so often bandied around without a second thought. Infinite is infinite, never ending. We as humans tend to think linear, beginning and end with a process in the middle, this is in error, everything is cyclical-infinite.

Not only do we think linear, we exclude/edit vast amounts of accessible information, trillions of other entities also reside in the universe, yes Ets including other entities in other dimensions beyond the physical. I don’t want to scare anyone, but we are primitive primates compared to many of these other entities.

Recently another poster mentioned that the light ‘knew everything’, I disagree from a much subtler philosophical based off my own NDE.

It’s almost if not impossible to describe the source light because it is everything and nothing simultaneously, that’s what I saw; a conundrum full of dualistic opposites within one united energy field on every level of cognition.

The source light used the term ‘us’ during the telepathic dialogue again; one simple word opens vast discourse into what ‘us’ actually means? I’ve spent a long time cogitating that one.

The sheer amount of info was/is staggering so just collating the information into a cognitive format is difficult, people so often want a quick fix or pill. Each word brings up more questions, challenges, and rebuttals.

One of these conundrums if not all, I’m still struggling with 30 years later. I saw the source light was the oldest ‘entity’ and yet like a baby **simultaneously that needs to know more hence this post.

Q: So how does this source light learn from or through us if at all?

Creation is a pregnant word, when I say creation we open another can of worms as some assume a spontaneous combusted creation according to a particular mythology. There are many mythologies globally that completely differ that need to be respected, however, I’m not a mythologist, I’m a NDEr.

I won’t post how we got here as this is extremely challenging for those who have religious/other beliefs. I’m personally not threatened as to how we got here; rather, I’m elated knowing we aren’t ‘alone’ in the universe.

Whilst in the light yes, the love is phenomenal, nothing like it can be experienced in this form as a human. Logic would denote that this ‘love’ pervades *all souls (there is a form of soul evolution also) that also come from the source. Soul evolution is hardly talked about, and this is where the root of the subject gets sticky. A soul is *not a solid thing, I’ve said this time and again on the forum. The soul can grow also, and in soul growth, this process is reserved for the ‘merge’.

This assumption that the light knows everything is not what I experienced due to the way the big bang and consciousness work as they don’t work in perfect tandem. The big bang happens first, then the source light expands into the void created by the explosion, hence the ‘light enters into darkness’ and it’s this void of darkness where all the ‘learning’ takes place. When we as an entity reach an evolutionary stage, meaning our vessel (body) is capable of having source light within, then and only then the process of learning or growth for source light begins.

We as humans have awareness and this awareness is unique say to animals or insects, plants, they too have awareness, but not like ours. Our soul evolution has reached an evolutionary level to enable us to take back new knowledge to source.

I remember like yesterday probing the light, trying to ‘see through it’. I tried to pierce beyond to see if there was anything behind it, you know, something even more profound, nope.

That was the end of the line, it was home.

So whilst in the light, vast and I mean vast amounts of knowledge are just there (from previous entities who have discharged their experience into the light), I wasn’t asking initially, it was there for the understanding. I did ask eventually when I could settle my mind long enough to actually prompt a response.

The awe I had for the light was beyond words and yes, people may have their own billions of questions they’d pound at the light if given the opportunity, trust me, the experience is overloaded with the emotion of love and that is the answer to all questions, but we’re human, so we keep asking. We’re driven to ask questions and this process of ‘asking’ is also from the light itself.

It too asks questions and this process of ‘exchange’ or ‘sharing’ is often done during the review process for some, not all. I can’t answer for anyone else.

We hear so often the review is based around how we treated others, my review was nothing like that, I got to see multiple lives and how I arrived at this one. Yes, I’d been to the source *millions of times previously and again, this seems to challenge ‘one lifers’ no end, even going into cognitive denial and dissonance, anger even. It’s ok, it wasn’t YOUR experience, it was mine.

There is another process of which rarely anyone mentions and this is the process involving the merge. I won’t be discussing the merge at all, ever. Knowledge is power and in the wrong hands can be misused. A conversation came up in the forum, claiming the light ‘knows all’, and I offered my response which wasn’t to the liking of the poster, hence this post.

We are in a symbiotic relationship with the source light, it needs us and we need it.

.

Yes the light knows all, up to a point, which is beyond anything we can cognise, however, I wasn’t being a smart arse by challenging this philosophical assertion that the light knows all, it doesn’t. The light has the knowledge of a trillions big bangs before this one, but… still wants to learn, so re creates the universe in differing fractals each time.

The source light is infinite, it has **always existed, it is beyond time, space, gravity and resides both within and beyond its own creation. I personally and imo would place my semi beliefs into panentheism now, not to be confused with pantheism.

Google it for homework.

It’s this cosmological belief i.e. pan-entheism (transcendental and immanent) that allows a ‘separate’ creator aspect to its own creation like a barrier. This dialogue gets into heavy philosophical/metaphysical posits of subtlety that are very hard to describe let alone understand. The source light actually separates a fraction of itself as the purest form of unmanifested energy hence it is permanently apart from everything but still connected. This section of source light resides at 50 times the speed of light, that’s what it showed me..

This aspect @ 50 x is the part that is so pure, beyond anything we can cognise, hence when ‘new and only new information returns, it then allows that new to merge with it and remain. If nothing ‘new’ is evident, then that soul or segment will discharge a review (life) and then reincarnate into another body, not just human. All of this is done in love, there is no punishment, just learning and growth for both parties.

Everyone has something new, it may just be a tiny accidental discovery in one’s 80 year long life, but it’s enough to satisfy the source light.

.

It took me 25 years to even find the right questions to answer of which I’m posting here for free.

The source light knows everything, or it **seemed to know everything, but it still has its own growth phase, remember it is a perpetual baby and babies need growth, **new things, **new experiences and this is getting into some very, very esoteric areas that are really inconsequential when dealing with our mundane realities down here.

When the source light implodes or the universe eventually returns to pure form, it starts again, big crunch, big bang, infinite folks, infinite. Infinite growth and knowing, untold big bangs, infinite, so yes, the light seems to know everything, but it doesn’t because it keeps banging looking for new things, new experiences and fractals, which are infinite, nothing is stagnant, it is energy.

So if you want to make the creator happy? Go and create and make new things, accidents in play.

Rituals are boring, repetitive. Go and paint a painting, or make up a new song, a dance or anything.

It wants us to be like children and ask. The ‘asking’ is embedded so deeply in our soul we’ve forgotten. I wanted to make a longer post regarding our first mandate when humans arrived, if prompted, I will. It regards the origin of ‘naming things’ which was our first command.

new things, anything as long as love underpins your motive.

love.”

These are links to radio station shows that John has been a guest.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/caribbeanradioshow/2011/10/18/chat-near-death-experience-nde-john-scott-via-australia

Next show

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/caribbeanradioshow/2014/09/02/ndejohn-scott-had-a-nde-which-gave-him-a-quantum-level-experience

And one more radio program

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/caribbeanradioshow/2017/03/20/a-near-death-experience-told-by-john-scott-from-australia

Thank you John for agreeing to share your experience with my audience. Thank you so very much.

BoJenn

2.8.2019

My Death Experience

2.8.2019

So~ When I arrived in heaven or wherever I was, I was just there. No tunnels, no lights, no family or friends and no angels by my side. No music. Nothingness. Darkness and blackness. No sound, no telepathy… absolutely nothing.

I was in dark lights as I wasn’t on earth and I had no idea that I was gone nor missing or anything out of the ordinary death experience.

While dead for 20-30 minutes, I experienced total blackness. It was non-memorable. When I started breathing once again and oxygen was-back in my system, my thoughts returned.

I have come to the conclusion that memories, thoughts, and experiences are created by using oxygen. Earth, oxygen and time are interconnected and oxygen is the main ingredient for the creation of memories and dreams, out of body rememberances and anything that we can fathom and remember on earth.

Otherwise, without oxygen there are no memories. And I must say that I was given this piece of knowledge after my death experience.

Now bear in mind that I am deaf and I asked them (whom, I never saw) if I needed to hear and it said, “I don’t think so. You’ll be fine. You’ll see.” And I was fine without hearing and this too was shown to me.

So off we ventured first to witness the physical properties of the earths dirt. The elements, the bacteria, the microscopic quantum universes below us and the intricate makeup of the physics held within the pebbles of sands, soils, gems, silvers and golds beneath our feet 🦶.

I was then taken to the earths relics and there I read hieroglyphics and inspected each object. From Peru to Mexico to Egypt To Sumerian culture, I was shown our human experience and our beginnings.

From there I returned to the Cleansing Pool to be cleansed again for ascension.

(My Cleansing Pool where in my heaven I went before ascension could take place. The talk Asian man was very kind, soft spoken (though our thoughts were telepathic) and assured me that I was not in hell. I think that he was familiar to me.)

At some point in their time, I was introduced to our alien forefathers. Alien DNA. I don’t know if all humans come from the same alien species. However, I doubt it. There was a room of (I think) five (5). They said “hello” and I was satisfied and asked no more questions. Ugh 😑with my lack of questions.

After the meeting, I was off with a being that was unseen. We traveled through out the universes. To The Pleiades, to Orion’s Belt and onwards to the outer of the universes.

I was shown binary codes that I couldn’t read yet they said that I could. They showed me star charts and I was amazed.

Also the outer of the universes was in front of me. The Elohim was creating a nebulous or something. The perimeter of the universes was made of Fibonacci designs. The designs were intricate and spoke to me telepathically. They were busy.

I sat on the side of something as far away as the moon 🌚 is to the earth 🌎 and watched the Elohim making this enormous masterpiece in space. Magnificent work and experience.

I asked about what was outside the universes. I was told that its dangerous for humans and that we wouldn’t return if we left.

The word phagocytes (white blood cells devour unwanted bacteria in the human body) came to me. I knew that I must not venture there.

During the entire time I spent in heaven , I heard the voices of my children in their upper thirties and my sister calling me home. They said , “come home, its not your time.” So I chose to return.

“The death angel “ lingered for eleven days.

And this is the basis of my experience. I know that I got way ofd topic. My apologies .

My brain is still in recovery from lack of oxygen. Anoxia. I am progressing to completeness and am lacking in recalling words, but have increased positive traits such as mathematics since my death experience.

Thank you for reading

Bonnie

Karma Explained

The “yin” and “yang” flows to and fro throughout lives providing the sewn.

And when it’s all over and taking your bows, karma presents you with a kick in your arse.

It says, “try it again, young soul of earth. Sleep well tonight and think of the dirt.

Supplying the manufacturer with a path to create.

Now onwards laddies into the matrix and plights.

And give it up when reaching the delight.”

My after life perception

My drawing of my death experience on the edge of the universes. At the top I labeled “phagocytosis” as for humans to leave our universes came a warning ⚠️

The Fibonacci grew all over the edges and it created electromagnetic energies that communicates with the entire universes and supplies energies needed.

It seems to me that our universes make up the upper lobe of a lung or perhaps I misinterpreted the idea. It seems right.

After Death; When Lives Change

Please understand that poetry writing is difficult for me since my incident last month. Anoxia has robbed my memory though every day I am getting better. Writing poetry makes me think. I don’t want to write any, but it’s a great exercise for my memory.

 

 

 

When Lives Change

 

 

Scrambling five mornings a week

For toasts, showers, clothing, lipstick, and my purse

Starting a car without the keys

Where did I put them, dear god, help! Please

Evening arrives on time, each eve

Cooking, forget cleaning, I’m up to my knees

Can’t someone assist, can’t they see me, geez!

Lord I need help with living, dear god, please

Years pass, and I’ve held things in disarray, it seems

Time has flown by and there’s nothing I have achieved, for me.

Compliments come in for my nothings, I’ve truly deemed.

Rolling my eyes about living and it’s all a confusing dream.

So February comes and it’s cold outside.

Loosing breath one night fighting hands that slide.

As if someone is choking me, slipping out of this place

Somewhere else I awakened with no time, like a space

No memory of children, pets or my homely mess.

In a place of intriguing beauty and experience.

At Pleiades, then Orion’s Belt, up and away from there.

Suddenly ~ while transporting~ I almost convulsed

The magnificence is overwhelming, as his smiling joy, couldn’t wait To show me the revelations of heaven

The gifts made just for me

And I thank him for all that he is blessing me.

With my questions answered about the universes and living after death

And in reverence I thank him for all glorious things, I have seen

I waved back and off I went

To the voices calling me home that afternoon.

I knew we’d meet again one time in my future

But now I know that my earthly frustrations are part of my heaven

And arriving home I smiled at my homely disappointments

My sadness now joy

Looking at the mess

Breathing in and out without being strangled

And yes, I am forever grateful to Him who smiles

And gave me my life with new and brighter eyes

BoJenn

March 10 @2019

 

Someone sent a message to me asking a question. My response is this;

 

Dear ______,

 

Death is individual created for all of us as heaven is, as well.

 

It is my opinion and not based on fact, the harder the death, the more someone loved their life and didn’t want to leave Earth.

So, this is why I say, death is created for each individual to have them leave their bodies.

 

In my case, death was hard. It was though, I was being strangled and death was frightening until I collapsed into nothing. There were no memories of that time. Maybe 20-30 minutes.

When I awakened 2 days later in icu, I was in and out of a coma. It was when the oxygen and time returned that I began to remember or see heaven then.

 

Heaven is created for each individual as I said. That’s why some people have deeply religious experiences and others have their hearts or beliefs experiences.

 

My love in life has been creation of The Earth, the galaxies, aliens and supernatural beings, relics, ancient cultures, mankind’s origins and mathematical physics, patterns and anything oddly different and interesting.

 

In the past (late 1990’s) I had been a “born again Christian” and got rid of all the things that I loved, mentioned above. After the late 90’s after leaving the church, I found and followed fearfully my own beliefs.

 

I found out during my recent death experience that God (small word for the creator) loved me just as I am.

 

In heaven he/she showed me everything that I love. I found out that I am okay where I am at with the creator.

 

So I hope that I answered your questions.

 

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I so much appreciated reading 📖 the words written.

 

Thank you, I hope that I have helped.

My Last Post on WordPress was the day I died. February 8, 2019

Yes, I died. I flatlined. I had no pulse and no breath.

My son called EMS and my daughter got to my house before EMS.

That being said, I went without oxygen for a while and when you read my post here on WordPress, it might be confusing as my brain was/is anoxic.

So I will post some of my experiences in heaven.

First I was taken to The Cleansing Pool

There was a tall lean Asian male there with a large hat on. He was stirring brains inside the pool surrounded by many large volcanoes 🌋

I asked, “am I in hell?”

Quietly he said, “no. You are at The Cleansing Pool. Here you cleanse your mind from negative thoughts.”

I looked at all the thousands of brains in the pool.

Mind to mind he said, “these are the bad thoughts in others. Yours are here now too.”

There was no memory of loosing my bad thoughts. There was no pain.

He said, “you cannot ascend until you are clean.”

I think that I went often there to the pool within my journey to heaven.

Suddenly I am brought to look at The Earth. The dirt was shown at a magnified distance. It got closer and closer. In the dirt I saw shiny brilliant objects. I saw atoms, protons, neutrons and shiny objects. Gold, silver and another universe held in quantum physics and very much alive.

We moved on. I was with someone but I don’t know who. I didn’t ask but was comfortable.

We went to the surface of Earth and saw all the relics, monuments, artifacts of Egypt, Per, Mexico and Sumerian. I was amazed.

From Pinterest. I chose this as part of the Earth’s Fibonacci design. It’s very deep, very interesting and a bit scary.

I then asked, “who are humans gods? Who made us?”

I think we went to the Cleansing Pool.

Then I saw several non human beings. I understood. These were the gods.

Then, I was instantly at The Pleiades, at Orion’s Belt and there I said, “oh please, keep me within The Milky Way.”

And nope! Off we went to the outer perimeter of the universe or universes.

There is where I saw The Elohim (Hebrew for gods. Plural) creating the universe.

My symbol for The Elohim.

On the parameter of the universes there is a bundle like a baby bundle that holds us tightly together. It is charged with magnetic energies and it is made of The Fibonacci Code or designs.

These designs are alive and growing rapidly. They wanted me to watch and they wanted me to see what they were making.

I got these images from Pinterest and altered the colors some. Heaven has different colors and I cannot remember to show you what they are. I wish that I could remember. Mesmerizing indeed. I had to look away from the designs many times as it is all consummating and a bit scary as we’ve never seen anything like this on Earth.

Here are some of the images from Pinterest.

I wish that I could tell the artists who drew these how I think they are close to what I saw, though the colors are different.

Okay one last very memorable experience I had while in the heavens.

I saw binary codes. I don’t read the codes so I wondered why they showed me.

But what I think they might mean is this. The codes have earths dates, and names of people. The gods, angels, supernatural beings or whatever they are can travel here to us at any date and time.

The codes are used for time travel. Then recorded code information is folded onto each other just like when scientists say the universes bend together and traveling in the universes becomes a shorter distance. This is the same physical principle for binary codes and time traveling.

Okay… thank you for baring with my writing if you read this.

I appreciate your reading this. Questions are appreciated and I will get back to you as soon as I can.

Many thanks 🙏🏼

BoJenn March 10, 2019

Boy what a ride

Elohim (gods). I published this on February 8, 2019, sometime before I died (later that evening)

Thank you Jordan Maxwell for showing me the correct Hebrew interpretation

Poetess Jo Dowling, A Psychiatric Nurse Who Writes Poetry of The Dark Side

 

It is with great pleasure that I introduce you to a fellow poetess who is also a psychiatric nurse, like myself.

 

 

It is because the mind of a mental health nurse sees the world, reported by others, from a down to earth approach and also from a surreal sublime often bizarre experience,  that I’m thrilled with Jo Dowling’s poetry. In a way, because we are so down to earth, we are also somewhat of skeptics, realists and also expect the weird from the world, at the same time.

We may write about “fairies” and fables, but under that fantasy is dirt truth… You must read between the lines that often have allegories, metaphors, parables and messages hidden in the gray areas of life, and from that we express the unexplainable in poetry.

If you live and move in these areas, then  you too, understand the minds of psychiatric nurses… We are the eyes of doctors and therapists. We watch and never have to listen because we see and understand the unspoken language of the human spirit.

We are the Watchers, not exactly the listeners of words, because body language speaks louder volumes than spoken conversations, and psychiatric nurses see and realize the unspoken and that is why I love Jo’s poetry. She sees the reflections of the dark side of life and explains some secrets found inside closets and under beds in her poetry. The child that hurts, the person that still experiences the “boogyman” syndrome, Jo understands.

It is the human psyche and the sixth dimension that her poetry reflects. The empathetic observer that she is, who feels and deeply understands fears, horrors, paranoias and the sadness’ of many who experience mental illness or just simple fears and depression. Jo writes from their persona or perhaps she writes from her own experiences.

I love your poetry Jo. I understand and I relate to well. I know those demons thwarting our living day to day … So often those tormentors get away with robbing innocent victims.

I appreciate your poetry because you are truthful about what you’ve witnessed, and you have come to tell others, to alert them, and to touch them in away, through your poetry. Those whom read your lines, verse and choices of words, know that you do understand because you hit the demon on the head (just an expression) and expose those dark forces, so well.

Jo’s poetry is heartfelt spiritualality, but is not pie in the sky fairies and pixies, but it is about real life forces that have wounded many, and affect many daily;

So, thank you Jo.

Here is one of many of Jo’s poems.

 

fullsizeoutput_22f4

 


 

 

Jo’s Bio

Childhood was spent in China, Korea, and Baghdad. Attended college at the University of Arkansas, Henderson State University, and Texarkana College, obtaining a degree in Nursing. Became Specialized and Certified in Psychiatry and worked as a Registered Nurse at Baptist Health and Pinnacle Pointe Hospital in Little Rock, Arkansas. Served in the United States Marine Corps, Intelligence Division. Retired early and returned to hometown of Foreman, Arkansas to write full time.
jodowling514

 

 


 

 

Poem 1

Sometimes we turn from the fire so quickly we stumble and fall in the flames and are burned
And sometimes we medicate painful mistakes with elixers of poison or  promises made
We watch as the children grow taller and stronger and cover our eyes when they break down the door
We are of thunder and rainbows, and cyclones, and northeastern winds without warning or form
We are of time and celestial planets, and volatile poisons and critical mass
We explain meaning without understanding- our senses perceive only what we believe
Humanity, fling back the sheet from the mirror–
Focus your sight and define what you see
Quiet your mind and acknowledge your senses
Cry for humanity, tend to the bleed

jodowling514



Poem 2

Gold turns to blackness like fossil rock veins- meanings ingrained and embedded 

Sadness strikes suddenly, point piercing through, wickedly splitting existance in two 

Shaking from force of the violent blow- the meaning burns inward and down to the bone  

The sound lasts for only one second of time, but the echo will last for an entire life


jodowling514



Poem 3


Biddable river shines bright in the Autumn

Dance with me under the river rock cliffs

Voluptuous evergreen lips kiss the sky

Come to the river

Swim through your mind

Grape vines entwine, hiding footprints behind us

Time cannot find this oasis

Tedious urgency does not exist

Prisms refract where the river falls spray

Wade in the wonder

Bathe and create

jodowling514


You can find Jo Dowling on FB. She has several poetry groups and you might want to follow her and learn more about the dark side of our mind….

I live there at times and relate to the closets hidden from the world of facade and often irreverent.

https://www.facebook.com/jo.dowling.37?fref=ts


Thank you Jo for sharing your poetry and a part of yourself. Thank you for the work that you  do and write about.  It is because you relate so well to the human spirit.

Jo is a realist.

Thank you deeply and sincerely.

 

 

Remembering Robert Frost

15727371_1846308965624887_2937816208288426655_n

Investigating the road noticed

A set of tracks singularly left

Perhaps a motorcycle or a sled

The icy coverage maybe slick

Deciding if the path needed me

To venture the trail leading where

I’d never been but seemed foreboding

Oh but the brush and thickets held

Could be rabbits or deers or who knows what

The road invited me ~ so I pondered 

Remembering Robert Frost, I questioned

Is this the way, or perhaps not

It looked so innocent in the beginning part

Considering the icy surface and a mishap

But the other way held no assurances either

And each would take me to where I belong

Just different routes to meander through life

Standing looked as far as my sight grasped

The other way, was not envisioned 

So, I decided to keep moving through

Neigh the other would be traveled blindly 

Thus I went where I could vaguely see

And perhaps, I ask myself ~

 Did this decision make the difference

Is this the road, I should have travelled


BJ K♣️©2016 Bonnie Jennings. All Rights Reserved<

mage from Pinterest<<<<<<<

A Gentleman Silhouette

 

15232271_10208309508360732_5270859951231576226_n

Damp leaves fallen everywhere 
Silently he who stands in prayer
Somewhere ~ pondering, “Elsewhere?
Could I have come from?” In despair,
He looks thinking, “is this a nightmare?”
Unrecognizing the odors and the auras
Alone, by the park bench now worn
Etched in wood were cursive initials
Swollen wet wood had but erased them
And there he stands, once debonaire
Only now, merely a ghost carrying an umbrella
The parallel alliance, the romantic bond
Passed into independent realms
Perhaps, time and measurements
Will lock into the same grid
But, until then, he just stands
Silently pondering the else-wheres.
Haunting the bench 
Amidst fallen wet leaves
Stands a gentleman silhouette

 

 

BJ K♣️©2016 Bonnie Jennings. All Rights Reserved

 

Image from A Poets Haven

Passages: Time is a Thief 🌹

William Wordsworth, 1770 – 1850 (an excerpt)

“What though the radiance which was once so bright Be now for ever taken from my sight, Though nothing can bring back the hour Of splendor in the grass, of glory in the flower; We will grieve not, rather find Strength in what remains behind.”

Reflections on Family

 

My Family/families are my Valentines. ❤️

 

 

Ode on Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood

William Wordsworth1770 – 1850 (an excerpt)

 

“What though the radiance which was once so bright Be now for ever taken from my sight, Though nothing can bring back the hour Of splendor in the grass, of glory in the flower; We will grieve not, rather find Strength in what remains behind.”

 

 

IMG_0112img_04641918058_1061183027059_1121161_n_fotorimage

 
 

Time is a Thief

 
 
 

14322460_1751462878451894_2530780771470008311_n

Fleeting ~ Time

Left are memories of the children voices
 Left are the visions of sand castles

Time is a thief ~ so subtly it steals
 The moments thought unimportant and harried

If only for a moment ~ my mother and father
 We could gather at the playground together

Instead of doing my own thing
 Would look only at you and carefully listen

Because truly ~ Time is a thief

BJ

 

13095829_886498838139009_7154066332895641571_n

 

 

Hidden from sight the old trees still protect
 As if intruders enter out of disrespect 
 Inside the castle tucked deeply far away
 Is a beating heart who yearns for their play
 When they visit again and all will be restored
 To the time and place where the children roared
 The dogs barked when visitors approached
 And all was well, once upon a day
BJ

 

13892284_1734666053464910_6310233795199438250_n

 
 
The laughter of voices of children are still heard
 Looking at the image seeing what once was
 And nothing will bring back the innocent days
 Moving time forward, can never return



And the cycle of voices of children presently heard
  Are the ones who'll whisper in future playgrounds
  And the cycle goes on and on and on perpetually turning

Making the maddening cycle stop
  Takes fortitude, strength, courage and truth
  That the voices of children stay presently in your heart

BJ

 

 

15032800_1030726717049553_6819790305208393100_n

 

 

 Her Mysteries

 
 

Ascending an abandoned staircase stood once gloried and adored

 Still remains inside a crumbling castle’s walls ~ yet still lovely
She held secrets no one had explored, she waited to share
The mysteries, now ghosts, of people who once were
Back, caught in time, and the twirling vacuum of memories

Went ~ Swept away. But the antique staircase could bring them back ~

If only a wandering visitor came to stay.

 
 
 
BJ
 
 
 
 
14937273_1024688090986749_873828385385486532_n

 

“Please, whisper. As you enter a sacred place, be reverent. It is the granite that shields her heart, and the only way to enter is in quiet solitude.”







Thank you for reading

 

 

 

K♣️

©2016 Bonnie Jennings. All Rights Reserved

 

 

 

Haven Dreaming

10421450_1101803833180828_7406199936711052169_n

 

Drifting weightlessly awhile dreaming lucidly seeing

Floating through halls of granite having huge columns 

Touching cold stone walls filled with ancient lights

Knew momentarily, I was transported somewhere else

I studied the writings and carved pictures on the walls

Reading a story of humans caught within an earthen warp

But, here a palatial ruin, not foreboding, and oddly grand

Felt pleasure and comfort, felt familiarly, as if, I was home

The temple held temples, spirits ~ awaiting souls

A ride through the cosmos in order to find their own

And meanwhile awaiting the catalyst who transports

Watched myself drifting in this palatial mausoleum space

Recognizing old ~ old character beings, I’ve known

In another place for certain; however, this was our womb

Until the time of birthing thus taking flight combusting into life

Here we gathered, quietly awaiting, until our mother said

And this cold monumental temple is our place

I recognized the carvings and the silent grace

And one day, will return and unite with my family

A peaceful dream experienced, finding my haven 

©2016 Bonnie jennings All Rights Reserved

Winter Fairies and Return To The Forest

cropped-wpid-wp-136447185163431.jpg

 

Welcome To Winter Fairies and Return To The Forest

My poetry is dedicated to my family respectively:  Jim, Babe, Carol, Elysia and Joel.

Also, I want to thank all of my poetry friends that I’ve made on FB. The list is so long of my FB friends and I just want to let them know that they are so appreciated…

Now, just a little note to you the readers. This is a long poetry story. It has to be lenghty as it tells a story about love that’s become volatile. Love ,that is abusive and perhaps dangerous, is Beauties struggle and “Beauty ” is a metaphor regarding the lives of domestic violence victims.

I’m most proud of Fairy Beauty who declares her win over The Evil Sh’man. I love her words to the audience, to herself and to him. She comes through as the ultimate victor in the case of domestic warfare.

Thank you for stopping by and reading the allegorical poems of Winter Fairies.

Oh and by the way, the word fairy or faerie have two different spellings and meanings. A fairy is good and kind and represents innocence while faeries are mischievous at times and are practical jokers and create havoc in their environment.
image


WINTER FAIRES

Evil Sh’man Speaks:

Part 1

Hey! Come back here you Elfin Faerie!

Stop giggling, skipping and dancing, right now!

Caught again this time…

Feel the gripping of my grasp?

Delight, fright?

You Elfin mischief maker.

This time you’ll pay the price.

Last time… You’ve plucked my “C” chord.

Making sure of that…

Ha! You laugh, tease, taunt and twirl,

but now meshed between fingers of steel.

Escape not.

The last laugh; mine.

Little green Faerie neither sex surely known.

Doesn’t matter now

For between my fingers, thou art.

So, wiggly. So smart!

My eyes will not close!

The night approaches. Willing not thou clever plan.

I sleep not!

Fighting sleep.

Sword drawn at my side.

Think Thou smart, do’est though?

Think ye shall wait?

Time your best ally?

Big green eyes look so sad.

Concerned for souls, are you?

Eyelashes ever so sweet and dimples warming pink cheeks.

What’s this?

One big tear begging release?

Ahhh…Turn Away! …

Beguiling charm!

Eternal soul sucking fascination of Beauty’s green eyes.

Devilish harm…

AYE, Look away!!!

No gaze at she!!!

The promise of your love I shall not see.

Turn away!

The trigger’s trap catches not; me.

I DO NOT SEE!

 

Then Beauty Takes Her Leave as The Evil SH’man Sleeps:

Part 2

Black night comes,

alone and cold.

Smart beauty sleeps warmed

By hands that fold.

In quietness the present enemy waits.

Beauty taunts not.

She need not…

For time be her friend.

Coldness aligns her side

And loneliness sang lullabies to her;

“sleep child sleep.”

SSH…Shh…

The fight grows small.

Sleeps on the horizon; it calls.

Hearing distance voices my eyes rest.

The hills and a mountain melody lays sleeps fog.

I answer…

Can you hear it, as well?

He snores…

“Gently gently, sleep.”

Beauty crawls from fingers once tight.

Careful, careful…

Not to awaken the captures soul…

She’s played before..

However it’d grown old.

She plays well.

A champion for sure.

Quietly quietly,

“SSH”…says She….

“Awaken not my game.”

“Comes tomorrow a fair shame is he.”

“Foe rest; later your dare…”

“Truth? Ha!”

“Thought you had me?”

“You foolish sh’man.”

“Look! Who has who.”

“Thought you’d won?”

“Ha!!!”

“Surely thought?

I’d not get away?”

Ah…Before Daylight shines…

“One last game..It affords me so…”

Whispers stories in midnight sleep.

You’ll think strange, “God’s” voice for certain.

Magical messages, images, songs and words;

“God’s!, not His at all…”

Ah Hah!!

“Goody, goody for me.”

“One more time before nights end

Can bully jab my soul.”

“NOT!” Then; Beauty declares her win…

Her long fairy fingers reach for the harp.

The soul of her game?

To pluck his “F” sharp…

“Bold challenges,” said Beauty,

“HIS love I detest,

but, as He has made it,

I surrender my quest.”


 

Beauty, The King of Clubs, enter’s another battle with The King of Diamonds or The Evil Sh’man. One more round taking place in the courtroom of divorce.

 

Poem 2

The King’s Duel

 

The Final Question?

Can the deep insightful King of Clubs
raise the final victory
over the overachieving
game playing
often clever
king of Diamonds?

Swords raised
not a final nod.
Eyes glaring steel blue and hazel green
facial lines fixed
not even a twitch.

Slowly woven like the Earth to the Moon
moving like a dance
made a circlular pattern
on the floors of onyx black

The King of Diamonds
so sure of himself
believed no fight
from the Club herself,

But the Club held dear
the truth in her heart
The Lord Almighty
was there
from the start.

Round and round
so slowly they moved.
The Diamond King’s lips
snarled a smirk
as he spit tw’ord ‘er shoes.

And the King of Clubs
shot darts of fire
her eyes told,
“He’za liar!”

The one eyed King
dazzled with diamonds galore

But, The King of Clubs
kept her mind
on the chore.

Over and around
the blades slowly moved
then picked up the pace
without any shoes…

Cling, clang, ding and gwong
the blades met
rangling a song

“All shiny and strong,
the song of a Savior,
That life is a gift
given by Him
and though expect treasure
we don’t always win…”

And so,
The Kings welded
their swords in the air
cutting their skins
and toppling their hair.

No whining
nor whimpering came from the two
but fierce wellbred bickering
whipped whistled twang pue.

The blades never ceased
the clang of the strikes,
faster and harder
beaten the life

Of one Diamond King
and the other a Club
but The Savior stepped in
to straightened their thuds.

Now, it came to pass
that The Diamond King
tipped his hat,
and gave up his crown,
and that; was that.

And The King of Clubs
Surrendered her heart
at a cross
on a hill~
decidedly smart.

For the hill is where
all kings will bow
made not of fools…
but of heroes,
Those, i am’s, of Thou art.

 

cropped-wpid-532589_2626326754674_1502067211_n_201303230843457231.jpg

 

 


 

 

Poem 3

Fairy Beauty was captured because she was on a quest to find the perfect person to love her. And, because of her innocence, kindness and inability to defend herself, she is captured by a man, who is not for her ultimate good well-being. On the road of searching for a god-like man, she was captured by a sociopathic man….

 

In the poem, the man in the forest she meets, is a god-like man whom she created in her mind. It was a man similar to what she felt her father was and perhaps he is her biological father on her god-like quest for a great man to love and marry her.

So now, for poem 3:

The Forest Man

image

Like a drug; I’m compelled.
An index finger points the way.
The path covered in vagueness.
Only trust leads my day.

The forest is my storybook.
Few paths I’ve known.
Some are smooth and uneventful.
Some are treacherously bare.

Once a lesson completes.
And a short respite occurs.
The forest fairies find me.
And, another adventure is assured.

My feet are weary from twists and stones.
Tripping along the way.
But nonetheless, the spirits find me.
And again, I’ve nothing to say,

Excuses are lame.
Whining creates more.
So, quietly I proceed.
Wandering, the magic roads of lore.

image

Passing through the brush.
Carrying my satchel of prayers.
Perhaps I’ll pass a man.
A man who relinquishes terrors.

And I’ll look for him in the forest.
There, pray he shall find me.
Illuminate, our eyes will sparkle.
Then, my spirit shall be set free.

image

 


 

Beauty does escape the evil sh’man; however, the road home is often filled with in trepidation as she is always looking over her shoulder watching and waiting for the reappearance of her captor. Her fears are at times delusional as she struggles with being tormented and falling back into his hands or similar hands. She knows that she is vulnerable because of her naivety.

 

Poem 4:

Escaping and Returning to The Forest

image

Cold, cold, cold the morning; cold.
Coffee warms my hands.
Unraveling memories; seeming dull
Still night dreams, do unfold.

Whispering…
Low clouds covered the forest
Eyes that see not before us.

But, follow the pale path
Neath the weary feet.
See it! There! Underneath!

SHH!..silence!

Wet leaves covered the way.
Then look closely if you may.

Sprinkled sparkling faerie dust
Shimmers neath the leaves.
And, if you follow the shining lights
Those sights shall take the lead.

Following the strath of twigs and weeds …
Growing near the path
The wetness of the leafy stuff
Still bares the night time mask…

Here, there, turns and twists
Mark a path which won’t resist.
All night long seeking an end.
Running, skipping and stumbling on shin.

Searched, knocked, and sought
Only not to find
Any faerie myths…
Oh, how my heart…
Does pine.

I tired of your game,
Oh, Faerie
Running your path night long.
Then decided I,
Best to wander home.

And, vaguely remembering sanity
Since safety departed me,
Calling from the woods
It growled ferociously.

Sad and disturbed
Missed you again!
And, lowering my face,
Bares a fools return.

Hey, Look yonder!!!
There! My Mims!
To be greeted by their love!

The open arms of my kin.

My family who loves me dearly,

And they who prayed me  home

That night.

Even despite myself. ,
Yes…

Even despite myself.

image

Special thanks to my Late mother, Babe, my Skipper B, my Dear sister Carol, my daughter Elysia and my son Joel. They “who safely, yea, safely prayed me home that night.”


 

Beauty is still on her journey with the help of her family to find sanity so she continues to seek refuge at home once again. She is still running from the shadows, the bumps and bangs in the middle of the night or day. She shakes from fear whether real or imagined.

 

Poem 5:

Trying to Find Home

 

“Awe,” the radiance; so bright.
Then, follow it, with all might.
The road course shall lead by day
Rocks, turns, stickers and curves
Climb anyway…

~~~

My prejudiced thoughts;
Lofty visions of you.
Fiery images deflect a golden hue.
Imagined you, bronzed, dazzling, and vein.
We danced; then came the rain.

~~~

Caught too long there.
Idol thoughts; so dear.
Washed away; with my tear.
My arms bound, and mouth sealed.
Woven. Hey! What’s the deal?

~~~

OH, My God! I’ve Been Caught!
The coven’s web intently taut!
The feast I am. His delight.
Oh, fairy friend! By the firelight!
Here I am!

~~~

Now the spiders home virtually unseen,
Vaguely tucks into that corner beam.
But, see the dim light, growing so bright?
A fairy severs the silk, so tight.
And, falling from the web of fright.

~~~

Still arms tangled by silk threads
Pushing out bracing the fall
The spider and the fairy brawl
Wham, Bam, to and fro, from the deathly fight they bow
Looking, whom’s, my fairy friend? Noticing it must be Joe.

~~~~

Underneath the spider
Joe waves thumbs up, You’re alright!
Now run like hell! To the light!
Run away little bait!
For, the fate of the firefly might be too late…

 

image

By Bonnie Jennings 1/12/2010

 


 

 

While on the road to recovery of being a doormat personality, Beauty finds a new friend who comes to stay with her during the getting home and settled sate. And, it was then that Faerie Jo (JR’s) entered her life. It is true that Faerie Jo made Beauty laugh again; however, Faerie Jo had some deviant behaviors the Beauty was amused by. He made her laugh though she never experimented with his mischievous suggestions. But, Beauty does thank Faerie Jo for the recovery of smiles, amusement in life and deep hearted laughter she had lost while in the deep woods of fears.

 

Poem 6:

Joe’s Seduction and Return to The Forest

 

 

 

 

 

Joe’s Seduction

 

Innocently spoken

lips of faerie red.

Failure to answer

deliberately unsaid

~

“Come On!

You want to play!

I see in your eyes

And OH,

By the way”

“At the end of the day

You’ve nothing to say?

We’ll see.

Yea?”

~

“Come now

Sing and dance with me.

By the time night comes

We’ll use the key.”

~

“The window thought closed

We’ll not use tonight

For as the sun sets

The door will shine bright.”

~

“And, just as before

When the Moon was full

You danced by the light of the fire.

And your life…not dull.”

~

“So come on Old Foe

I challenge you today

to come to the Forest

But, don’t forget to pray.”

~

Now Joe’s eyes

faerie green-blue

Her hair of red waves fell

Her waist little too.

~

Charming alluring daring

Joe seduced the weakening victim

O so sweet her voice

before Joe actually kicked-em.

~

“I can’t, I won’t !

Now, GO JOE!

far from me!

Out! You Elphin mischief-maker!

There! The window!

Now, LET Me BE !”

~

Pouty lips and bats of faerie lashes

A wink of Joe’s eyes

She extends her hand

“Come now, come nigh,

And do not say, good-bye.”

“My human friend

Please don’t cry.”

~

Joe’s fingers crossed

After her word

“You know you want to come.”

Joe’s clever tenderness heard.

~

Then their eyes met

Joes soul stronger by far

It reached out to point the way

To the forest

By declare.

~

Weeping, sobbing and uttering,

“NO!,

For with you faerie

I SHALL NOT GO!.”

“You LIE, you CHEAT, You’ve NEVER TOLD the truth!

Away from me little demon!

For I a clever sleuth !”

“I found out your tricks

All slippery twists and turns.

You’ll not lead me to the forest

The fires there

Will not burn!”

image

Blink blink. Smile smile.

Joe’s gestures summoned otherwise

Lies, cheats, twists and turns?

“You know how you loved it?

O, compromise!”

“Hey, for now,

Why don’t we play?

Remember the time

Remember the day?”

“You chased me,

And I chased you

Around and about

And away we flew.”

“And, I gave you wings

So you could fly.

You wore them one day

And flew sky-high.”

~

Up and away

or top of the trees!

O, how you flew.

Then, crashed down on your knees.

You cried a little

Afraid to smash

But, I caught you.

Do you remember that?

~

By day we flew

through tops of trees.

At night we danced,

Howled while burned the fire

With the breeze.

~

The snow fell

white branches below

cold air on our faces

you didn’t say, no.

~

Confessing your fears,

Don’t make me fly!

Saying, Damn you fairies!

But, we took you so high.

But, once on top of forest trees,

cold air blew

threw majestic hair.

Then, smiles over took you.

You’d no more cares.

~

Remember Foe

The human flew

Above The Earth,

And, safely returned

To the fires hue.

Tasting faerie brew

Though freezing; made warm.

Tasting our food,

image

 

Now, whats the harm?”

~

So, come now,

God of the sky.

Let us dance, cheer and sing

And, please, don’t lie.

~

For flying, your game fare

The faerie sort

A dare!

~

So, stay if you must…

But, winter is coming

and near the first frost.

Kindling our fires

Don’t get lost.

~

The invite is yours.

Extends the Faerie hand

In Spring depart

From kindred land.

~

Think it over,

I’ll return once.

To ask you to play

to ask you to dance.

~

Well,

Quiet are you

Not so sure?

Your soul inside

Embarrassingly pure.

~

Judge others,

And they judge you.

But, in Faerie land

All tiny feet

Wear the same tiny shoe.

~

“So, I’ll leave you this morning

To think for yourself.

I’ll return ONCE more.

~~~

When The Moon shall wane

Then, you should thin,

Follow the elf.

~

But, one more time

I ask you to follow

Before The Moon’s full light is gone.

Then, don’t dilly-dallow.

~

Joe moves to the window

Her faerie finger points up.

Then, her faerie wings take to flight.

But, before leaving from captives sight

~

Joe turns to wink

And salutes goodbye.

 

 

 

image

 

 


 

 

In the year 2011, Beauties mother dies and it is in her memory, that this poem was written. “Babe,” Beauties mother was life’s weaver of magic and good dreams. This poem is about Babe, who helped Beauty so many times. This poem is a thank you to Babe for her constant help in real life and beyond….

 

Poem  7:

Autumn Weaving with Babe,

my weaver of dreams and magic 2011

 

 

 

IMG_2665

 

Weave in and out skip two colors of dreams

Raise the level of forest green

now circle around the lights magic stream.

 

Yellows and oranges

Parfet and red

perfect strands of marbled threads

~

Dashing there yonder

up over Mars

bringing back a handful Stars

~

Wild horses charge

Black stallions at night

Taming the dragon with beacons of light

~

Casting them into fortune and fame

Causing the wind

Making it bend.


 

Lastly, there are many more in The Winter Fairy series of Poetry, but these are the most significant to the experiences of abuse. This poem is about the road of recovery. Victims have a tendency to repeat damaging relationships. So, in the recovery process, Beauty separates herself from any possibilities of dysfunctional relationships until she can learn to say, “No,” and she can recognize  the “red flags” that charismatic abusers often present. Until that time comes, and maybe it won’t, Beauty rests, heals, and discovers her own needs for self love.

 

Poem 8:

Leaving Adam

 
 
IMG_3957
 
 
~

Leaving Adam

 
~
 
 
Eons advance and passed away.
Thought, theory, speculation and opinions, die.
Glancing through lenses, and squinting, at the sky,
Adam, pointing, at the twinkling specs, named the brilliant ballet.
 ~
 
So, following mankind, up the mountain,
And ascending a rocky path; we embarked.
My feet followed his, upward, to where the sky was arched.
His staff pointed, and the heavens, then filled me, as a refreshing fountain.
 ~
 
An advocate of The Father of Man, I desired what he sought,
Thus’ left the home of my family and upheld his zealous quest
Confidently, I abided and affirmed his every request.
Even, wore his belief’s; did just as he taught.
~
 
One day, dared I asked, Adam, the man of science,
How is Eve today?
And, if looks could kill, then Eve is dead, thus’ left us only, to pray.
Deceased, she is. He answered, with a chill of neglectful defiance.
 ~
 
Man of Science, I spoke so boldly.
At the mountain top; we stand
The stars, you named, and held, in your hand,
However, love you murdered, so coldly.
~
 
This day, I choose the mother
Her love, which first found me
Within the warm and welcoming spirit, in there, dwells she.
 And, today, I accept non-other.
~
 
So, progressing and moving towards her;
 Over, the cliff of doubt, rapidly grabbing her hem, I aim.
Because, after carefully, considering your treacherous, pains,
There, in her grace ~ I seek her, safe harbor
~
 
I choose faith, that which, I cannot see. 
 
IMG_0381
 
 
 

 

 


 

 

©2010 by Bojenn or Bonnie Gay Jennings or Bonnie Jennings
@Bonnie Gay Jennings, or Bonnie Jennings or Boondoggling with Bojenn

*Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Bonnie (Gay) Jennings, or Bojenn or Bonnie Jennings with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. All artwork is also the production and creation of Bonnie Jennings.

 

My email: Bonniegjennings@gmail.com

Thank you for reading. I pray you found insight.

God bless you.

Bonnie Jennings or Bojenn

 

 

 

The Abductee Informant

 

 

Your Watchman

 

Sunday afternoon:

The opening scene takes place in a grocery store parking lot in August where there are numerous vehicles parked and many people shopping. It wasn’t a chance meeting though it was meant to be brief and appear accidental. The setting is in a small city in The Bible Belt. It was an extroidinarily hot afternoon and there were no clouds in the sky. Three people greeted each other. Two knew each other previously, the young doctor and the informant, and the third person, his wife, was being introduced, even though, she was not invited, the doctor brought her. The doctor’s young children were with other family members as it had been planned, but not his wife.

The story dialogue begins with the young wife asking the female informant,

“Who are you and who are they? You have told my husband so much bullshit?”

The informant, double agent for whomever replied, “I don’t know, but can tell you sincerely, they are not lovely, nor are they kind.” She looked down in somber explanation and then looked up into the eyes of a questioning young wife.

The double agent stared at her. She said, “I didn’t seek your husband  out; they did.” She further added, “Guard your children. Never let them out of your site.” She looked away into a distant stare. She remembered her own children’s disappearances twenty-two years ago, even though, they returned changed somewhat. She would never forget the horrors and memories that would never go away. Her children told of her about men who did terrible things. Such horrific details she could not bare to listen to them. Each child taken at different times and by different people. She reflected for a moment about her own childhood and those men cloaked in black hoods and were taller than anyone she had ever seen. Their faces had been hidden from her, but she didn’t want to see. She hid under the covers on many cold nights.

The doctor’s wife said frantically, “Who the hell are you? What do you want?”

The female agent hesitated before she responded as she thought. It wasn’t that she was withholding information from the insisting young wife. No, but she was truly unsure of who she was or is to “them,” or anyone. “I am not sure of who I am, or why, or how I came into their services not by choice.”

“That makes no sense! What do you mean, you don’t know? Surely you know something? You’re lying.” The young wife was trembling as she was angry, frightened, and determined to understand the craziness of what she had just heard. “And, what do you mean when you say, guard my children? Are you threatening our family?”

The atmosphere was somber. The electricity of the moments before fell when the informant raised her hands and gently moved them slowly up and down from over head to lower than her hips settling and calming the air. The young wife at first thought the informant was aggressively posturing, but a few seconds later realized the movement was certainly not generated to cause any physical harm.

The female informant said, “I’m not here to harm you. I don’t have any hardcore answers. I’ve searched for those answers all my life. I can only tell you the little that I know. But, we must find a safe place. A place underground and protected. We’re being tracked. They must not see that we connected. And, I hope it’s not too late.”

The young doctor of medicine spoke up. He had been silent because he was as confused as his wife. “Where do you suggest that we meet?”

The informant said, “Go to your office Monday and work just like any other day.” Then, to the young wife she advised the same. “I will arrange the place and the connection.” She told the doctor, “I will call for an appointment and will tell you then the particulars, but know your office is not safe. They will track and listen to  us. You can not write a note to me there in my presence or speak of this. Understand? You will not call me and I won’t call you unless it’s for an appointment.”

He nodded yes.

The informant said, “We must break this meeting up, now.”

“He said, “Will this be soon?”

“Not sure. It could be awhile. We have to leave some gaps in time. They’re tracking us even now,” she responded quietly.

The young doctor’s wife said, “This is crazy.”

The informant nodded in agreement. “I’m going now.” She gets in her old white 2005 Honda Accord and starts the engine. She opens the car window on her way out and says loudly to the young doctor’s wife, as to be heard, “It was so nice to meet you.” She drove out of the parking lot.

 

Chapter 2

Monday

The female informant takes the little amount of cash from her piggy bank, she takes the money and speeds of to The closes discount store. At the back of the store she purchases three cell phones. One for the doctors wife, one for the doctor and one for herself and places them in bubble wrap in a large envelope. She puts only the doctors name on it and tightly licks the glue on the envelope and presses it tightly. She also included the instruction for the cell use to each other only. Use it as little a possible. All regular medical calls were to be by appointment and by going through the secretary, just like normal. She left the store and drove to pick up her grandson who is getting out of summer day camp. The boy is ten.

“Grandma, where are we going?” This wasn’t their usual way to go home and he had friends to play with so he was in a hurry. “Why are we going this way?”

“No worries. We have to drop off papers at the doctors office.” She pulled up in front of the front door drive. She handed the boy the envelope and said, “Tell the receptionist this is for him and open as soon as he can” So, the boy did just what he was told.

“Now can we go?” He was whiny and put out that he was delayed as he got into the car.

“What did the receptions say? Did you her that the doctor was waiting for her records and they were important?” The female informant asked her grandchild.

“They were nice and said, “Who sent it? And, I told them, you did and you said it was important.” The kid was sighing as he had things to do. “Can we go now?”

She, the female informant smiled at the boy and drove away wondering how soon the phones would be delivered and will he open the package then, and would the secretary loudly announce who brought them? She ruminated about this. Should she call him to be certain he got the?

The receptionist hand delivered the packages to the doctor when he was sitting in his office. He said, “What’s this?”

The receptionist said, “Oh Mrs. Smith, you know the kind of crazy one, said you were expecting these.” She smiled as she stood in the door waiting and watching him open the notes as she was told by the boy. “I sure hope her grandchild won’t be that looney.”

The doctor stopped opening the package and said, “That’s okay. I’ll open the latter. We have work to do.” He arose and put the envelope on his chair and scooted it under the desk. He shut the door behind him as it automatically locked. He then took the envelope and carefully opened it and looked at the two phones. Man, she’s serious about this craziness. He put them in his briefcase and the note in his shirt pocket.

 

 

Chapter 3

Monday Evening:

Later he made his first call to the informant. He was alone in his car and he soon pulled over on the side of a dark road hidden under trees where it was safe. He called the informant.

“I thought you said this would happen later? What’s going on?” The doctor’s voice was hostile, angry, but on the other hand ~ He called her.

“Glad you called so quickly. We have work to do.” The informant was short and to the point. She walked outside away from her home just in case her voice was transmittable from inside her home. She took a leisure walk as far as she could and stopped.

“What do I have to do with your delusions?” Firmly, he insisted an answer. “Leave my family out of your charades, you understand me!”

“Trust me, your family is in danger, doctor.” The informant bounced back at him. “Your wife shouldn’t have come Sunday, so why did you bring her?”

The doctor was silent, then he said, “Because, in case you were hitting on me, then she would see and intercept this bizarre fabrication. I should have you arrested for stalking.”

“So, why don’t you?” She was silent.

“I’m not sure.” He paused, “Perhaps, I’m interested in your tales of cloak and daggers, your mysteries of God knows what.”

The informant listened, “Go on. Any more , hmm?

“You talk. Your turn. Explain your business.” The doctor fell quiet. “And, to add, the phones. A little over the top, for a twisted sorted game, I’d say.”

She didn’t hesitate. “Did you see the laboratory notes in the envelope?”

“No.” He responded.

“I put two reports from my distant past and one of a recent test. Both under the name of Mrs. Smith.”

“Okay. Tests of what kind?” He reached for the envelope on the car seat next to him and opened it.

“Lab tests with my DNA. You will notice that both tests have 1% Neanderthal and the old test has 2% unknown DNA and the latest has 3.5% unknown.” The informant waits for him to answer.

“Wait a minute let me look.” He ruffles with the pages. “You know DNA is not my expertise.”

“Just look.” She shot back quickly.

“Yes, I see, but still I don’t know what this means, I don’t do DNA.” He’s disconcerted with her for insisting him involuntarily into matters he is unlearned.

She sighed having her own frustrations with his lack of concern or understanding.

“What do these reports have to do with me? I ask you again. Stop with the vagueness.” He insisted.

She thought, “I want you to have labs drawn on me again, then on your self.”

“What? That’s absurd. Why should I carry on with your delusional mystery?” He continued to look at the lab reports and her DNA. He recognized the lab values were not matching and are increasing and thought, why? “Why do I have to test mine? Why am I relevant to your search?”

“I will be in this week and you will draw labs on me under the name of Mrs. Smith, right?” She restated her request.

“Yes, come into the office Wednesday noon. No one but the staff will be around. I’ll just tell them it’s for labs that had to be drawn at noon. But, mine… not sure.” He gave clear instructions to the informant and took control of her craziness.

“Okay, Wednesday at noon, I’ll be there, but if my labs are remarkable then you will draw yours?” She took control again.

“Okay. Deal. But, what does your DNA have to do with mine? We’re not related.” He hesitated, “Are we?”

“Well, yes, in away we are.” She said, “I’ll see you Wednesday.”

They hung up and she walked back to her house. It started to thunder. Rain was coming soon.

 

Chapter 4

He was busy the early part of the week. The young doctor didn’t have time to think about the strange phone cal except the last words the crazy Mrs.  Smith, the odd informant said, “Well, yes, in away we are.” And, this bothered him. These words got under his skin.  What exactly did she mean? 

Wednesday noon:

“Hello Mrs. Smith.” The young doctor unlocked the door to the clinic. “Come on back.”

The informant Mrs. Smith was directed to the phlebotomy room. “Our phlebotomist is on her lunch break so if you’ll allow me to do it, then I’ll have it done in no time.” He was friendly and spoke loudly so the staff could hear him and think nothing about a noon lab draw. After all, the doors were shut at exactly noon. He had all the vials, the tourniquet, the needles and the centrifuge ready. “May I get you a coke or coffee?”

“A coke would be good. Thank you,” She responded.

“Before you drink the coke,” after he handed it to her, “Let me swab your mouth for DNA. We’ll do it every way we can to get comparisons. Okay?”

“Yes, that’s fine.” She seemed glum and was quiet, but decided chit chat would be best in case she was tracked into his office and was being listened to. “How has your week been?”

The doctor, nodded his head, “Here make a fist” as he had placed the tourniquet on her upper arm, “The week has been quite unusual. The office has been busy as all get out.”

She smiled. “Unusual?”

“Oh, nothing too crazy.” He chuckled under his breath.

“I see sarcasm, doctor.” She sighed. “I hope everything is back to your normal routine?”

“Absolutely. Things couldn’t be better.” He cut it short. He was beginning to sweat. He blew a vein. “Dam-it. I have to use the other arm.”

“Dam-it? Do you always talk this way around clients?” She acted upset. “Calm down. I don’t have all day. I have to go back to work soon.”

He shut up and put the tourniquet tightly on the left arm. “That should do it.” He was successful and unsnapped the cord. “There you go. Finished. The labs will be sent out after lunch.” He escorted her to the door and opened for her. “I’ll call you with the results, Mrs. Smith.”

“Make me copies. I will pick them up.” She turned quickly not to show any familiar behavior in case they were being watched. Off she went in the old white Honda.

The doctor walked into the office and sat down at the computer. He added a drug screen and a BAC to the labs. This way he would no if the woman was drunk, on drugs and her DNA which he was now curious of.

He wanted to ask Mrs. Smith for her real name, but thought about the fact that having too much information was irrelevant and would involve him even farther than he wanted. Nope, he answered his curiosity.

 

Chapter 5

Two weeks passed by and he had not thought about the labs or Mrs. Smith. After all, he was a busy doctor with many patients and his wife surely would have him involved in more social activities than he wanted. So, the thoughts of those two dilemmas were simply dismissed.

Mrs. Smith, the female informant, laid low and never once called him on the cell phones or contacted his office. However, she ruminated about the findings and wondered why he had not contacted her about the results. She bit her nails and chewed them off, but she was silently waiting.

Another Wednesday two point five days later:

The fax machine was shooting out labs as it usually did at any doctors office. The lab tech took them off the machine and delivered the results to the prospective doctors. She put values into the young doctors box on the outside of his door where he would see them and read them. He did just that and noticed in the pile of fifteen or more pages the name Mrs. Smith. She had several of the fifteen pages. He closed the door behind him and sat to look them over. The first one was the drug screen. It was negative of any substance then he looked at the BAC. No alcohol present in her blood system. “Damn she’s clean a a whistle.” He flipped through to the DNA results. And sure enough the swab of the oral mucosa results were conclusive to the last results she had. 3.5% Unknown and 1% Neanderthal, he whispered to hime self. He didn’t know any DNA specialists, he didn’t know what this meant.

“Amy,” he yelled.

“Yes, doctor.” Amy poked into his office.

“Find a local DNA or Genetic engineer, doctor or someone I can send a DNA consult out to.” The doctor ordered right now and Amy got right on it…

She called around and found  a Doctor not far away. She wrote his number and address down and took it into the young doctor.

He placed a call and was able to get through to the doctor when he identified himself as a doctor.

“Doctor DNA, this is the young doctor, and I wanted to ask about normal and abnormal DNA percentages. Could you tell me if 3.5% is unusual in oral mucosa for a normal human level?

Could you tell me where I can look such information up? A reference perhaps?” The young doctor asked collegiately.

The elder doctor replied after he cleared his throat, “You say 3.5% doctor?”

“Yes, that’s right, 3.5%.” The young doctor clarified.

“That can’t be right. test again. The lab is wrong. Can’t be.” And he was certain in the tone of his voice, the young doctor was mistaken.

“No, this is the second recent result. They are the same from two different labs.” There was a silence between the two men and the fund doctor said, “Well, I’ve taken up enough of your time. Thank you, anyway.”

“Yes, he added those two results are wrong. Your patient would not be human, sir. Well, good day, call again if you need me.” The elder doctor thought the question was odd and the response that two different tests from two different labs verified the same 3.5% values and this was more than interesting, indeed. He wished he had gotten the young doctors number, but he didn’t. He asked his secretary, but she had gone for the day, as usual.

The young doctor hung up and wished he hadn’t called the consulted doctor. But, he waited for the staff to leave saying good bye then he attempted to draw his own labs as he promised. Finally after stabbing himself three times was able to get them, four vials, in an upside down manner on the arm. He put them in the refrigerator and with a label the lab staff told him, after an inquiring call, for a miscellaneous practice draw. No charges, no questions, just a practice. He made two copies for the informant as he promised. He put them in the brief case, and sped off to the tree area on the side of the road where he could call her. Meanwhile, his wife called and asked why he was late?

“You forgot we had a diner party tonight? You’re late.” She demanded that he answer and she demonstrated her anger of missing such an event.

“Sorry, working late and I’ll be thirty more minutes. Go on without me.” He was sweet to her placating her for now.

He pulled the car over under the trees off the side of the road. There was no one around. He made his call on the cell phone the female informant, Mrs. Smith provided.

The phone rang several times. He did not leave a message. The messages had not been set up. Mrs. Smith thought that would be best, no messages to be traced. He began to drive home and when he arrived the house was empty. His children were staying with his inlays for the night. He didn’t feel like attending a dinner party so instead he poured a Jack on the rocks. He sat in a comfortable slouchy chair in the dark and thought of what the labs meant to him. What did Mrs. Smith mean when she said they are related?

His private cell from Mrs. Smith rang. It was her. He answered quietly. “Hello.”

“I’ve been waiting for you to call, well? Any results?” She jumped into the labs without any surface conversation.

“Yes, I have them. And, your two copies.” He shot back at her.

“Well, what do they say? Did you make me copies?” She was eager to hear the results that she was certain concrete as she thought.

“They are conclusive to your other labs. 3.5% unknown in oral mucosa.” He paused.

“I want the copies. Where can I meet you?” She hurried not wanting to miss the results or to allow time to prevent her from getting them.

“Not tonight. I’m too tired. Come to the secretaries in the morning. They will be there.” He again took control as that was his nature.

“No, not at your office. Bump into me tomorrow at the store just like in August at Mid-day. We can greet and pass the envelope like everything is normal.” She was in control.

“Okay, but meet me at 2pm. I have meetings until then. Oh, my wife has come home. Got to go.” He hung up the cell and put it in the brief case.

“Hello honey. Why didn’t you come. Everyone waited for you.” She was tall and red headed like Maureen O’ Hara and fiesta like her, as well.

“Too busy. I just got home.” He swirled the bourbon in the glass.

“Well, you should have called to let us know to eat without you. Is that bourbon? Are you drinking alone in the dark? That bad, huh?”She could interrogate with her lean body and red hair better than an FBI agent. “What could be so imperative to a family care doctor?”

He rolled his eyes at her sarcastic put-down of being only, in his mind, a family care doctor? Geez, what does a man have to do to get recognition and respect? Damn her. 

 

Chapter 6

Early the next day he got a call on the private cell. He was on his way to work and alone driving in the rain.

The informant female says, “It’s not a good idea to meet you at 2pm. Is there any way you could meet me now? Do you have the labs reports with you?”

“I have them with me. I’m close to work and have only a few extra minutes. Where?” He responded quickly.

“Park your car at the grocery and walk to the post office. Go through their backdoor. I’ll walk there and be there in ten minuets.” She hung up.

He was early that morning with thirty minutes to spare. So, this plan of hers would work. Driving the car to the grocery and parking it he then got out and walked as if he were going into the store, but he walked the sidewalk to the post office where the most office boxes were and walked out the back door. She was standing there in the rain.

“Well, come inside, out of the rain.” He insisted.

“Just let me have the results.” She put her hand out and he gave her the labs reports.

“If you have any questions call me later. I gotta go,” he said. There were people starting to come in and he felt unusually uncomfortable to the beautiful grandmother informant, Mrs. Smith. “What’s your real name by the way?”

She didn’t smile. “It’s not a game doctor. This is not a flirtatious meeting or coincidental rendezvous, understand?”

The young doctor had to check his emotions. She was right, he was feeling like this was a scandalous rendezvous and he was rather enjoying himself. He forgot this was a bazaar story about wild DNA and a weird woman. The mysterious excitement was taking him into a fantasy of types.

“You’ll need to watch your pheromones, doctor. This is serious. By the way, did you draw your labs?” She raised a doubting eyebrow at him.

“Yes, yes I did.” He retorted. People were coming into the post office. It was 8:05am. “I got to go. Late now. When my labs come in, I’ll call you.” He left in the rain from the front door and followed his path to the store and then his car. As far as he knew, no one saw him. He felt sneaky and ashamed for feeling flirtatious, for enjoying a life of increased adrenalin. He never felt that way before…

 

Chapter 7

Almost Fall

The young doctor went about his work and social functions and left the flirtatious misinterpretations behind. After all, Mrs. Smith was a grandmother and not a normal stereotypical woman who would be considered as a rendezvous for a primary care physician. So, he carried on as usual.

The grandmother informant, Mrs. Smith was about the business as usual, too. Only hers were menial and mundane while in the office. However, after 5pm, it was the usual adrenalin rush she had experienced since she was a child. Once in a while they would visit her at night. The clock usually said 3am or close. They were not consistently on time, but they gave a few minutes on either side of 3. However, she was older now and their visitation numbers and times to visit were fewer, thank God. She did believe in God or a supreme power. She had to believe because something always saved her from their grip.

It was for the reason of monetary purpose that the informant did astrological forecast for extra money and for the fact she loved astrology. She finished a woman’s chart who lived in Oregon and noticed intently that this woman had similar coordinates as herself. It was later in central time as Oregon so she called the woman for clarification. The phone rang and the woman picked up.

“Hello,” she said.

“Yes, hello,” the informant had a Southern drawl from being and living in The Bible Belt for so long. “This is Lottie the astrologer and I need to clarify your information, is now a good time?”

“Oh yes! Now is great.” The woman answered.

There are unusual themes in your astrological readings and I need to verify your birthdate and time of birth Is it 1952? And, were you born at 7:58Am in Portland, Oregon?” Lottie asked.

“Yes, that is correct.” The woman replied.

“Okay, good. So, I want to explain that in 1952, October 10th, The Constellation Ophiochus was arising in the Eastern sky. This is rare to occur and we know the zodiac has 12 houses, but in your case 13… Lottie waits for a response.

“Very insightful,” the woman replies. “Do go into more of this. I’ve never heard of a 13th house in The Zodiac.”

“Sagittarius is in the twelfth house and is also your ascendant and it is also sitting near the constellation Ophiochus or Asclepius . This would say you are a strong believer in a force much greater than most other men. Your Chiron is also near the ascendant and close to the constellation Asclepius and would indicate you are a healer. Are you a health employee?”

“Yes. I am a nurse.” The woman proudly answered.

“That would explain Ophiochus/Asclepius in your chart on the horizon at the time of your birth,” Lottie explained.

“I’m not aware of that name or custom.” The nurse responded.

“I’ll send it as a text. Look it up. The myth goes like this. The constellation on the horizon at the time of your birth would be in the eastern sky. Asclepius was then coming up or arisen. You could then, identify with the constellation as your birth home if you thought that we are all star children and connected spiritually. It is reported that Ophiochus/Asclepius  is your DNA home or where your descendants came. You are from that Constellation and nearest star to you at the time of birth would be the home of the star that your family came. That is where your spirit came from, if you believed that’s a possibility and wanted to know more, there are references to this information.”

The woman closed down.  She was somewhat shocked and refuting the ideas. “Oh, that’s silliness,” she responded and laughed. “That’s not feasible. No, can’t go there. I’m Christian and star children and aliens are not anything that I take any part of. Astrology is just fun. That’s why I did this reading with you. Can’t do the other.”

Lottie shut down, also. “Well, if you need me for future reading please contact me. You now have my number. She realized that she wasn’t going there and wasn’t interested. Perhaps frightened by the idea that we came from alien life forms.

“Well, good night Lottie,” she said her goodbyes.

“Goodnight.” And, Lottie hung up disappointed because the woman was clueless. She saw no reason to forward the woman any further any information.

Lottie, Mrs. Smith or the female informant sat on the couch thinking about the phone call with the woman in Portland. Recollecting their conversation it provoked dismay and anger because the woman said that her astrological read was indeed, “A joke between Christian friends who chose the same birthday and decided together to do a test. They would send the same birth information to three of four astrologers to see if they all came up with the same natal horoscope.”

Lottie had explained to the woman, “I don’t use computer generated charts and interpretations. My interpretations are original and I personally sift through the data the information provided.”

This didn’t impress the woman in Portland. The woman was certain that all of the reports were simply conjured from “a demon.”

Lottie was disappointed, but she went on and gave it any more thoughts.

The thunder came again. Lottie lost power in her home. She lit candles. It was soon to be her birthday. She too was from Asclepius. It was on the eastern horizon at the time of her birth.

She thought about the doctor and his birthday. “Could his birthday say the same. How could I get his birth information without seeming bizarre? After all, the doctor was living in The Bible Belt and he may hold the same belief system as the woman in Portland? Well, he already thinks I’m bizarre enough. It can’t hurt anymore to ask.”

The thunder boomed overhead. It shook the house. I hate nights like this.

Lottie hated nights like this one because they, whomever they are, would sometimes pay her a visit and since she was on a quest to find information and other human victims were more than likely angry with her. For these reasons she feared they would come, Lottie expected them soon, possibly tonight. There was no absolute telling about their arrival except it would be between 2 and 3AM.

Lotto’s adrenalin was high. She felt it rising. She had to work in the morning and knew with her norepinephrine this high, sleep would be hard to fall into. She took a Xanax and used the dose by a half.

She marveled at the coincidence of having an appointment with the young doctor. The previous doctor moved out of town and for this reason she was absorbed into the new young doctors patient list. The first appointment two years prior she had with him was normal, and without any odd or strange feelings. He was a doctor and there was no signs or odd occurrences that pointed to any connections with him. Lottie thought about the first time she had an eyebrow raising experience with him.

It was when she had her second appointment to see him. He neared her to listen to her chest, suddenly a vibrational shock happened, they both felt and jumped. They blamed it on static electricity. However, Lottie saw it differently, but she drew no conclusions or conjured anything from her imagination. But he had something else that captivated her. His eyes. They were blue and sometimes green and the pupils changed rapidly. The way he glanced at her for a split second, his pupils and her own met. It was hard to explain to a normal person. It was not flirtatious or romantic by any means. No, it was like two railcars latching together conjoining to become one. Clink. She felt it. They matched. Another piece of the puzzle had been found. Lottie was certain that the young doctor was the one. Could his birth have the same coordinates as hers and since he was a doctor would certainly be interesting to investigate. If he was also born with Ophiochus on the horizon than this could only mean that he is the link, the one person who would help her. After all, he would be helping himself and his children. Asclepius would be his origins. The Serpent Bearer, the healer.

She knew she was imaginative and had to check on occasion, if things were real, or psychotic. Not once had she been diagnosed with psychosis, but when psychologist and doctors examined her, they simply said, “It’s in your imagination. You’re quite creative, aren’t you?”

She had to agree with them on the creative description. That is a fact. She was imaginative, but high levels of norepinephrine could usher epinephrine synergistically. Her mind was going that night, all of the what if’s, could be this or that, and so forth, had her in a whirlwind. The Xanax Thank God was kicking in… Her mind began to slow down and she went to her bedroom, took her clothes off, laid in bed and drifted off to the land of no thoughts or adrenalin. She loved that place.

 

Chapter 8

Rem Sleeping

The thundered rolled all night. Though it was now distant, it still reverberated the small house.

Lottie slept soundly, snoring in and out with the cool breeze of October. Her windows had opened and she was not startled, nor moved. Sleeping as soundly as one could, she had no cares. No lights were on and only shadows from the lightening and trees danced on her walls. This never frightened Lottie as she was use to terrifying images and these were natural and she hadn’t a care about how they played out violent themes on her walls or had ghost faces appearing in the mirages of shadows. The images carried on as she slept undisturbed.

Standing tall, hidden in the corner an entity stood, watching her. No facial expressions it had and time was of no concern by the looks of the thing. Its finger arose from its side cloaked in a black robe and it pointed at the clock. Time stopped then as she slept.

Bright lights everywhere. Not Earthly, by any means, they illuminated the cold metallic room, as she laid on a slate slab. Cold with vapor rising, humidifying the room, Lottie opened her eyes. She knew this place all too well, it was a place of torture and a place of hell. She screamed, “NO!” Paralyzed without restraints, as usual, and her mouth muzzled by invisible sources, her screams were not heard by anyone or anything. She hoped God heard her and would send angels to free her. Eyes were wide open, breathing in and out through her nose, she looked around as far as her peripheral vision could go, she felt movement, and from ten feet or more she saw shadows.

This time there were no instruments used on her body, no sounds that broke her ear drums, there was filling the space of tall figures of whom she saw no faces. They surrounded the slate slab where she laid, and permeated her body with mental messages. Threatening her to stop her investigations, to stop visits with the doctor. They showed her the room next to her as the walls separating vanished and in the next room were two children.  The children of the doctors, lay.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Circle of Life

IMG_3116

 

 

The fog of dull moist clouds cloistered Earths hills

rolling slowly quietly assured with December’s presence

uncovering the steal bleakness of chills

the grey fox sought the superlative time stalking

hunting, one catch, the hare eating thorns, is captured

~

All rests except the fox, and the hawk that swoops prey

and beautiful it seems to carolers that dream

pictured on Christmas Cards sleighing coupled in hay

but the hunted sigh as the singers pass by

ignoring the innocent life in the forest by night

really wintery rest is not what it seems

~

The white witch cursed the greens for three months

laughing, she pointed t’wards the fox and the hare

the hawk she invites on her evening animal hunts

while the fox, hiding and embarrassingly shares,

“dear rabbit if only there was another way to convey

my condolences and my fondness, for you, today.”

~

The fawn born in grey thicket that night

a hunter was on track for a meal, of the carnivores type

deep in silence, bitter coldness, that eve less bright

their faces showed meanness, sickeningly alarming

hungry for killing the innocent and without any lament

the damp floors lined with twigs and leaves sent

~

Warning there are trespassers who entered our forest

and without invitation, the hawk soared forewarning

the dove in turn echoes cooing which entered space

of ears of the fox alarming, the furry rabbit crosses into the thicket

noosing the doe and the fawn warmed coddling

“stay within this eve the thicket safe from guns”

~

The hunter’s love winter’s and the innocent blood

And the white witch carries on until spring

stay here little doe while your mother brings the cud

the sleet drizzling rains seem never to bring

peace within the forest it seems

and life circles around the fox and the hare

and the buzzards that hunt the carcass from the air

~

©2015 Bonnie Jennings All Rights Reserved

First attempt

The fog of dull moist clouds cloistered Earths hills

rolling slowly quietly assured with December’s presence 

uncovering the steal bleakness of chills

the grey fox sought the superlative time stalking

hunting, one catch, the hare eating thorns, is captured

~

All rests except the fox, and the hawk that swoops prey

and beautiful it seems to carolers that dream

pictured on Christmas Cards sleighing coupled in hay

but the hunted sigh as the singers pass by

ignoring the innocent life in the forest by night

really wintery rest is not what it seems

The white witch cursed the greens for 3 months

laughing, she pointed t’wards the fox and the hare

the hawk she invites on her evening animal hunts

while the fox, hiding and embarrassingly shares

dear rabbit if only there was another way to convey

my condolences and my fondness, for you, today

The fawn born in grey thicket that night

a hunter was on track for a meal, of the carnivores type

deep in silence, bitter coldness, that eve less bright

their faces showed meanness,  sickeningly alarming

hungry for killing the innocent and without any lament

the damp floors lined with twigs and leaves sent

warning there are trespassers entered our forest

and without invitation, the hawk soared forewarning

the dove in turn echoes cooing which entered space

of ears the fox alarming, the furry rabbit crosses into the thicket

noosing the doe and the fawn warmed coddling

stay within this eve the thicket safe from guns

the hunter’s love winter’s and the innocent blood

And the white witch carries on until spring

stay here little doe while your mother brings the cud

the sleet drizzling rains seem never to bring

peace within the forest it seems

and life circles around the fox and the hare

and the buzzards that hunt the carcass from the air

 

~

 

©2015 Bonnie Jennings All Rights Reserved

I Know What You’re Up To

FullSizeRender
I Know

The young woman tells the final story. Her last chapter is complete. 

“Darkness covered the room. At midnight, the chimes from the grandfather clock resounded a deep, “dong, dong, dong, and dong.”
“The clock didn’t awaken me. The chimes never do, but I always expect them, the others, that is. They’re, always, right on time. It’s their, time to come. I sense it. Like an odor, or breeze or an internal alarm that warns me.

Her mature voice shifts. It changes into a young girls. Under the covers, the seven year old hides. She says that she shivers in fear and dread while they, the male beings, occupy her bedroom.

“Maybe, they won’t notice, that I’m awake. They usually don’t, but one night, they might. What then? What should I do?” She asks.

I don’t know what to tell her. I’ve never had them visit. There are no solutions to help her. I wonder if she is being sexually assaulted? I listen, but there is no mention of touching or fondling, not even a kiss. So, I wait. My antenna will know the moment I should question.

Her eyes are huge. I see she is telling the truth.

“The beats of my heart will surely tell the black cloaked monks, I’m faking sleep.” She sighs and looks up at me with the saucer shaped eyes.

“They enter my bedroom, from out of the closet. Twelve, midnight, when the clock dongs, I know, they are coming. The leaves from the forest that surround our home have shimmering grey colors that seem to dance like stick indians on my bedroom walls. The images fervently sway in madness of movements. I know then, to expect, the friars. And, as certain, as fall follows summer, they will come. Three, of them, usually.” She pauses, then`

“Sometimes four, walk out of my closet from behind the doors.” She whispers with downcast eyes when she tells this story.

“They are extremely tall. They’re working doing, something. My bed covers over my head, cloak their activities. They will peer over my body, looking to see me sleeping. They don’t know everything. But, if I look at them, their red eyes stare. I can’t see a face. They tell me to, ‘shut up.’ Meaness. That’s all I can say. They’re no good.”

I look at her. Dumbfounded. Hopelessly, there is nothing, I can say. After the hypnosis session, she passed the polygraph, which she agreed to, and I don’t know how to help her. What can I say? 

Standing up to leave my office, she adds on her way out ~

“Doctor, the last time they tried to visit, I give them this look. They no longer bother me. And, now, that I’ve got their look, they seldom pay me, social calls….”

She gave me a haunting stare that passed through me. 

“Oh, by the way, doctor … you may want to get rid of the grand father clock in your hall. It keeps your children up. They can’t sleep after the gongs at midnight occur.”

What? I look at her, but she has shut the door. After a brief pause, I ran after her, but she was gone. Bewildered by her last comment, I was paralyzed. Fear overtook me, as I saw the same look on my son this morning.