The Subject of God/god

I must give my opinion, and it involves the word “god.”

A breath or sneeze perhaps formed us

In my NDE last year, there was never any one entity that held the title of “God/god/gods” and that singular word is absolutely to small. I actually explained this concept to two Hebrew authors and one Interpretor who was trying to pinpoint the true meaning of “God” in their texts.

The universes have no known beginning nor start nor ending, that we know of, correct? The human idea of “God” is the one who created everything, are you still following me? So, if we know this, then our entire concept of who and what “god” is changes.

“He” no longer is the grand creator of the universes. And now, knowing this we can bring our ideas and concepts of “God” to “god” our Creator Source.

During my NDE, last year, I witnessed The Elohim (Hebrew; gods; plural) creating a nebulous in the outer perimeters of the universes. The Elohim was sincerely a creator, and joyfully went about making grand designs of planetary systems. The Elohim was unconnected to my emotional status, nor any others emotions, as it’s main goal and objective is to create and that’s all. It is the judge and master artist of The Universes or perhaps one of them. There maybe many Elohim’s, but I just saw one.

The plant system had its hierarchy and its creators sources, as well.

The humans have their own creators. And, this is another topic for another day.

However, the final end result could go backwards into an implosion and reversal into a singular form of energy where it was spoken out by a source beyond us and out of our world. Zip and swoosh backwards through the spiral rapidly going back through time and space, sucking all atmospheres, times, fractals, fractions and all mathematics into nothingness of “the void.”

It’s a huge concept, I realize, and difficult to grasp. I think fractals and sacred geometry on Earth would help with a little known of the concept of who and what our creator/(s) is/are. Outside of Earth, Sacred Geometry takes on different shapes and mathematical equations because of “time.” Outside of earth is different than any other places and likewise so are all the different bodies of comets, stars, planets and etc. Time, magnetic, gravity, atmosphere and seasons (temperatures and humidities), all effect Earth differently than other bodies of materials whether it it atomic or not. Time is effected.

Are we important? Yes.

Our learning experience is a curve that will set us into another dimension.

Our love will also take us to new heights.

We must ascend, as I was taught during my NDE.

To ascend, one must be cleansed from negativity.

We must let it go in order to achieve, to know, and to understand all that’s available and this knowledge will go on forever and ever….

amen.

Rough draft. My NDE

My Near Death Experience 2.8.2019

I was cold and not feeling well about anything. It was early 2019. The fall prior to then was hurried, confusing, filled with nursing exams, and health exams, and to add, I started a new job. A job I thought would last me, the rest of my working career. Orientation was a solid month. Good. I could sit in a chair for 8 hours and learn. I was a good student. I learned to be one at an older age.

The day came when they said, “everyone must have a flu vaccine. If you don’t take it, then you’ll have to wear a mask for 8 hours.” I knew there was going to be a problem. The last two times that I took the damn injections, I was sick. The 24 HR ER became my best friend for both years. The last year that I took it was 2014. I tried to explain that I has asthma and couldn’t wear a mask for 8 hours. That’s insane and besides masks only work for less than 5 minutes. Good grief. A psychiatrist didn’t take it, and we knew she could get away with it and my best nursing buddy there also didn’t take it. She wore the mask around her neck. She never put it on. She had a doctors note. I didn’t. As it turns out, they (neither one) never wore their masks.

And I… got sick from the shot, almost immediately. They said, “can’t wear a mask, then you’ll have to resign.” So, I refused to quit and took the flu shot. The nurse had a handful of injections, maybe 10 or 15. In nursing this is a HUGE NO NO. I let her give me the injection using one of the many drawn up vaccinations.

In two weeks both of my eyes dilated. My primary care physician sent me to an Opthamalogist and I went to my own. Both said, but not my pcp, “you touched a medication without gloves. Your eyes dilated.” That was the stupidest diagnosis I had ever heard in the 22 years of nursing. I had touched multiple pills and never had any reaction for 21 to 22 years. This was bullshit. We wash our hands very quickly. By the way, my pcp knew that was a lame reason labeled to my case.

The days progressed into Christmas, New Years, and on Jan 21, 2019, I resigned. My eyes were still dilated, bilaterally. I couldn’t go outside in the sunlight without sun glasses. I could only work at night. So, I started watching children who were on life support, at night.

On February 8th, that was the last day and evening that I remember. My body had swollen perhaps 15 lbs in less than 24 hours. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t eat. I was sick.

Chapter 1

“Today, my dearest mother, Bonnie Jennings, was taken from and given back to us. What began as severe chest congestion last night ended up in respiratory arrest this morning.

Accordingly, she went without oxygen long enough that her heart stopped beating. Chest compressions and CPR were not restarting her heart. In the ambulance, approximately 15 minutes after her heart had stopped, they were able to defibrillate her and start her pulse again.

She has severe pneumonia and is at UT Health Center in Tyler, TX. She is on enough propofol to keep her unconscious to avoid agitation and prevent her from ripping out her breathing tubes.

Mom, I love you. “ My son addressed FB on my behalf. This was his note. February 9, 2019

Oddly, I only remember the late of the evening, February 8th. My world was fuzzy. The deoxygenated brain cells left me with the condition of anoxia or anoxic brain disorder. However, now, I am doing so well. This is an absolute miracle. Yes. It is.

Now, back to the 8th of February, before my son moved away, one evening, I got up my courage an asked what happened. It was because all I could remember was the 8th, and peeing on the floor. I couldn’t believe what was happening to me. I saw my son walk by and he stays in the other end of the house. I told him to call 911 and that I was dying. Now I remember it was the coldest night of winter 2019 for East Texas. Ice was expected, and I thought, why would my body have to choose tonight out of all the nights in the year. We weren’t in town, and Texans don’t know how to drive on ice, so why did I choose tonight. Totally inconvenient.

My son said, we had some of that conversation, but it was in the morning. I don’t remember the morning of February 9th. The hospital records state I was taken to the ER at 10:37 AM. So, where did the night go? I asked myself. Just vagueness is upstairs now.

This whole time and episode has really troubled me because of my memories ended late February 8, 2019. My nursing friends have explained to me what happened to my brain 🧠 with deoxygenated (anoxia) cells, and my memories. And, this is exactly what “the others” told me while I was visiting on the other side.

If you want to know who and what “the others” are, then follow me to Chapter 2 or 3.

Here… I must tell you that in my experience, I didn’t have a tunnel, lights, family there nor friends, and there were no angels with wings.

Chapter 2

I was in ICU, my lungs were intubated, a tube was down my nose in order to be fed, and a urinary bag was in place. I had zero memory of any of the tubes being placed within me and had I have known, I would have said, “no.” I am a RN and have inserted a few. I know the discomfort and of the intubation have. I had oxygen going, and IVs filled with a cardiac drug that I am allergic to, and antibiotics for pneumonia and something for status asthmaticus. The cardiac medication, I saw hanging, I tried to tell them, “I cant take that! I am allergic!” They heard me a few days later after I had swelled hugely. The medication did that to me on a regular dose.

I thought I was talking, but I wasn’t for a day or two. It’s so confusing. I heard my sister say, “It’s not your time. Mother told me. You need to come back.” My mother is deceased, but my sister connects all the time with her, and I believed her. She also said, “You, better come back. There’s no one who will take care of your animals.” I had 6 at the time. Still, I was far away. Her words were very faint. My children said the same to me. “Come home mom, it’s not your time.”

Meanwhile, in my afterlife heaven, I am arguing with someone’s. They were real to me, I knew who they were, but I never saw them until later. I am angry with my death circumstance. I was saying to them, “I am a good person. I deserve having a tunnel, lights, angels and family and friends meet me!”

The “others” didn’t say a word. They allowed me to carry on for quite a while. I heard myself and my arguments. Looking back, I think how. “Really, Bonnie?” Geez, no one deserves anything. I am so sorry for my poor behavior. I also can tell you the number one lesson that I learned is this.

We are only given…This Moment. That’s all we have so becoming happy, or controlling depression, it becomes easier if we only understand, the only time we are promised is right now. That’s it.

Once I understood the above physical law, I was able to proceed with my experience. It was at the next few moments they instructed me on “why you didn’t remember your experience.” They gave me a mathematical equation or algebraic expression that went like this:

Earth’s time + oxygenated atmosphere = memories of life and existence here.

Without oxygen, memories are gone, lost to Earth times, and the people who remain. Anything written, spoken, recorded, photographed, touched are links to The Earth, but not guaranteed for any kind of communications after lives cease. The connections in the future would have to have an oxygen link. As far as mediums, I am only telling you what I learned. I have been a medium for a few in the past; however, I am not sure how the connections were made unless (my reasoning) the objects touched, held or owned had oxygen involved. This idea also blows my mind.

I also, have assumed, that the after life has numerous places, levels (some are still oxygenated because they are close to Earth’s atmosphere), dimensions, houses as Jesus said, mansions as Jesus said, and many parallel or same dimension places as we are in mow.

For instance, a friends father died one night, before I knew he had died, he came in the middle of the night and shook my arm. He told me to get up and follow him. He went into our den. He saID, “I had to come say goodbye. I have a lot of places to go and many to visit, but I wanted to tell you goodbye.”
I said, “well, thank you.” As I said that he floated to the top of the ceiling and disappeared. That’s when I suspected he was gone, deceased. The next day, I was told that he died that night, the night he awakened me.

The point is this, he was still in the atmosphere of the Earth and was able to communicate with a sensitive person. Me. I was thankful for the visit. I know that he was among us still. To bring someone back, one would have to bring a soul back into the atmosphere of oxygenation. Memories that people have and can manifest the soul.

Chapter 3
My Visit Begins; The Cleansing Pool

After my vigorous complaining to the ones who listen and don’t respond…
There was no response from them, but there was an instantaneous transformation to my heaven or my afterlife. There was no tunnel, no lights, no angels or loved ones. I was just suddenly standing in a very odd place. I knew that I was deceased.

A black round disk came into view from a distance and moved right in front of my feet. It was solid, black, round and extremely dynamic to me. I didn’t know what it meant accept a fellow NDEer told me that it sounded like a Dharma Wheel. I looked up a Dharma Wheel definition and images. Yep. That’s what I saw. It was my past, present and I would create my future. The future would be dependent on everything that I learned prior to this life and my life just lived.

I looked at the black wheel that had rolled up to me from the distance. It seemed to have come through dry sands at this place. When it came to rest and stopped it was huge, like a monolith structure. It was solid black and it had a sliver cut from it on the lower SE corner. I wondered if this represented my entire life and the sliver was where I was now, or was I at the end… I questioned my life plan. No one answered me, but me. I was alone. I looked at it over and over because I knew the sliver meant that I had not finished my life, or I had a little life left to live.

Suddenly, I was standing before or near a tall lean Asian man who wore a straw hat. I looked at him as he had a long pole in his hands. He was stirring something. In the distance I watched volcanoes erupting and saw the red lava leak down the mountain into the red river of blood and brains that the Asian man was stirring. I gasped.

“Am I in HELL!” Panicking, I asked The man.
He kind of gently chucked bad said, “No, you are at the cleansing pool.” He was not wordy or someone who had to be seen. He was wise and quiet.
“The Cleansing Pool?” Said I.
“Yes. I am stirring brains and blood from those with bad or negative thoughts.” He spoke kindly and directly to me. His eyes were very wise. He could have been my mother.
“Oh,” I responded. “Why are you stirring them?”
“Everyone must be clean before they can ascend. All negative thoughts and emotions must be washed before you can go on any further.” He kept stirring.
I asked if it would hurt.
He said, “Did you feel anything?”
I replied, “no, I felt nothing.”

With that response, I ascended to the next place,

Chapter 4 The Dirt

The Trip to the dirt was in less than a moment. Suddenly I was there with someone. I never saw their face and I don’t know who they were or their sex. They were teaching me rapidly.

I was barefooted on the dirt of The Earth. Also, I must say that in my death experience I looked like a picture of myself taken about 4 or 5 years ago. I was around 62 then.

Back to my NDE, the someone took a handful of dirt and put it in my hands. For the first time, I saw dirt in a new way. The quantum physics way. As the dirt sifted through my fingers, the mineral properties illuminated. As they fell back into the dirt, the particles began to sparkle their true colors. The golds were intensely golden and the grains, individual, seemed to be magnified as I looked and saw each tiny piece. The silvers were shiny, sparkly, and as they slipped through my fingers with every type of particle on the atomic calendar. The bacteria’s, viruses and the living bits of Earth were ever-present as I watched like never before. Beneath my feet, and our feet, there are other billions of worlds. The quantum universes were there, alive, illuminating their space and I knew the, what I had always wondered, are there layered universes and the answer is/was yes. Beneath us is an unending world such as The Fibonacci Code signifies. The worlds spin smaller and smaller and what is microscopic to you and I, is another world.
I was utterly awed and so thankful to see and learn what I had always wondered. The being showed me without and words and amazing existence.

Chapter 5. Earth’s Relics

When the dirt’s truthful formations completed, instantly I was at the relics of The Earth. I believe we started with Egypt. The Pyramids. I examined the hieroglyphs by running my fingers over the images. I sensed the meaning, that I don’t remember now, unfortunately. I touched the grandness of the large structures as I walked alone with the warm winds blowing ever so hauntingly insightfully. I knew that I had walked among the relics when they were formed. They were familiar like a home.

So was The Sumerian Tablets. I touched and read.

In Peru, I visited the wonderful place and I think I was flying like a bird over looking the Andries Mountains up to Mexico.

The Temple Of Kukulkan or Mayan Temple was our place, I believe though Mexico has 7 known pyramids, we visited one and I believe it was this one. There, once again, I touched, read and knew the feeling of belonging.

We ended in Samaria. There were the tablets. They asked me to read them aloud and I did so.
I was so pleased with the reacquaintance to all the history, structures and tablets. I was satisfied.

Then, they said, “you must move forward . With that, we were off.

Chapter 6. The Hard Chapter To Explain

Every chapter begins with suddenly.
Suddenly I am in a room that I now call an office. It was dark and there was an illuminated long sleek desk. Sitting casually and comfortably behind the desk were 5 (I think that was the number) extraterrestrials.

I was calm and unafraid. They were kind, reserved yet warmly inviting, and patiently pleasant.

I felt that I was being interrogated, but they weren’t mean, hateful, or Lucifarian. I knew they knew me from the past.

I asked the question, “are you our humans DNA?”

And without hesitation, “yes. We are.”

I wasn’t surprised and felt comfortable with the answer. I knew that I wasn’t being given any untruths and the answer sat Inside my being as truth. These were my relatives and I was home.

The personalities of these alien ETs is unlike humanity. We, humans, are mammals, and they are not. The mammals are warm and friendly to their tribe and offspring (usually) and they, ETs, are not. The are not warm and cuddly, nor are they impatient. They will honestly wait “forever,” if its needed. They don’t jump into help us, unless it serves them, nor do they pat someone on the back and say, “well done.” They are not mean, but their lack of help or “non-interferences” are seemingly, unkind when struggling for help. They do appreciate good humor, pleasantries, good manners, kindnesses, and gentlemanly behaviors from humans. I say gentlemanly because they regard us as one, male and females. We are the ones who made the difference and separated the species into good and better. This is also true with our religions. It was our desire to have such kingdoms in place and they let us do our mammal things. Kings, rulers, monarchies, dictators, murderers, rapists, zealots, faithful, righteous, thieves, snakes (that we gave a slanderous hateful assigned character to) and the rich and poor. The character types, humans named and made because we were part mammal and alien. The aliens or ETs don’t have such beliefs, but they didn’t stop us. No, they let us do what we wanted, even if, the acts were cruelties to one another. The ETs would let us fight out our own battles and worlds as we were the new species, and had to learn as we go without their interferences.

My interview was over and theirs with me… for this moment.

The Beings, The Others

We ascended. We were in the galaxy way above Earth. We were in another office, in a ship, way out in space. There, in that room they handed paper to me printed on the numerous pages were binary codes. They told me to read them and I told them the I could not read binary codes. They looked at me and I knew they meant, we can stay here a lifetime or forever. Read the codes. So… I guess that I did or didn’t. After the forever or eternity waiting on my reading, they threw the paper on the floor of the ship to be burned. Okay, I thought.

Here, I must tell you the binary codes are used to time travel. If someone needed examining or help, which they don’t do often, they used binary codes to find the person, the time, the date, the whereabouts or the location coordinates. The binary codes gave all that information in a parallel world or worlds. They were active and on board. The binary codes used dark space and matter to work efficiently.

Next … the star charts. Yep. I read them! I was thrilled! And off we went to Pleiades and then The Orion’s Belt. We visited.

I said, “please, don’t take me any higher, I’m afraid of heights.” And, with that statement… we were off into the outer parameters of the universes.

Chapter 7 The Universes; The Baby Bundle

The meetings with the ETs ended and the back door to the spaceship opened (this was my imagination, I really didn’t see this scene in my NDE, but felt this happened). It was as if I was clear to wander the universes on my own.

Meanwhile, I kept asking where my family were, the deceased ones and my deceased friends. They kept reminded me … “there is no hurry. You have an eternity.” So, I accepted that and went forward. I also asked about my deceased pets. They didn’t show up either, but they (the ETs, I suppose, I didn’t see them say this, but I assumed that it was them) reminded me I had an entire eternity to see and meet all people and pets. “Don’t be in such a hurry. There is plenty of time.”

“Okay, Okay,” said I.

Off I went into the universe. I passed stars, nebulous,’ galaxies, oddities, planetary systems being built and designed, and I saw a great deal of happiness going on about me. The universes were vibrating lovely conversations and songs. It echoes throughout the space. There is a great deal of laughter, and extreme joy.

I got to the edge of the universes (plural) and watched while sitting on the side of a planet like the Moon is to Earth. I saw what I called The Elohim (Hebrew word meaning the plural of god) making a nebulous. To me this was The Grand God or Creator. This entity, alive and full of energy, creativity, light, joy, and constantly making and creating is moving about waving its wands creating creating creating worlds, galaxies, nebulous,’ and so forth. The Elohim does not tear apart, does not condemn, does not rip apart and doesn’t send anyone to Hell.

In fact, I never saw a place named Hell, hades, the under world or any place of punishments. If there is a place, it was not shown to me. If there is a place, it is between oneself and karma. Here, I will say that what I understand is this…there is not devil, satan, demons, or devils. The evils in this world are within each of us. This is why karma (or another appropriate name) is appropriate. Reaping and sewing says we go to god and ask for forgiveness and we are totally forgiven. Karma says, yes you can ask for forgiveness and should, but your punishments are put into place by the individual. The consequences are played back much like a swinging pendulum. You started the action, the action must be paid back. The pendulum swings, then it swings to the other side until the whole of all learning experiences are learned. When all lessons are learned, then we can say, we are like a god. We know and understand all things because we have lived them. We will not remain ignorant. We will be poor, rich; beautiful, ugly; white, black; etc, etc…we will know murder, and the life of a saint. We will be able to answer any question that is asked of god or gods.

Now… my journey, sitting on the side of the planet saw the Fibonacci designs growing, forming and making the babies bundle that holds the universes together. The plants spoke to me and I to them. I felt like Alice in Wonderland. The plants were very busy and told me that had to get back to work. The also showed me a picture, that I drew and it shows the universes in the upper left lung of a form. The inside of the body looked human. I am a RN so I recognized the insides and it looked human. I was told to never leave the upper lobe of the cavity holding the universes. Because if we went outside this area, then we would travel alone and no one ever returns. Hmm 🤔 thought I. Others had been here before?

When I was there, I say this carefully because someone once misunderstood my sayings, up high looking over the entirety of the incredible space, and all the structures of planets, stars, suns, moons, comas, lights etc, there was a male presence with me. It wasn’t the one in the picture that I drew. He was most kind, happy, joyful, friendly, kind, imaginative, delightful, and was there to answer any of my questions. He didn’t interrupt any of my pleasures of watching. He was so happy that I was happy. I felt like this might be Christ… but I am not sure.

I kind of asked about Yeshua and what I asked was who was he, and was he real. The answer came back to yes, he’s real, but misinterpreted. Furthermore, he was/is a man who was filled with love, who came to teach us only about love, and only spoke about love. The Christ sent was dramatically transformed into a human toy that was used to hate, manipulate, to steal and mislead others who are not in a position to defend self against such ploys of the controllers, manipulators and or the corrupt. This was not the intentions of The Christ.

At some point very quickly, I was ushered back to my life on earth. As my teaching about Jesus Christ ended, I heard his last commandment. “Faith, hope and love, and the greatest is love. Never forget this! It is the glue that will hold humanity together! It’s the only thing that last! LOVE! You must spread this above all this. This is the final and last commandment. LOVE!”

Like an echo coming backwards the word LOVE came with me as I traveled faster than the speed of light back into my body. I had a hard time talking, knowing what had happened…

I want to thank my friend who is an Art Therapist for encouraging me to draw what I saw and it took a great deal of therapy to get me to draw. Thank you, Shelley Cannon-Fredrick. If you hadn’t of stayed diligently encouraging me, I never would have drawn the pictures of my journey. So, thank you. All NDEers need an Art Therapist.

https://www.nderf.org/Archives/NDERF_NDEs.html

Notice the void. It is set off and away from the life source
These are humans connected to the life source and one who is disconnected
This is a cross section of the life source. Two people said it resembles colon. I had to laugh and agree. We are in gods bowels.
The Dharma Wheel
My drawing
The space that ALL the universes are within. The top right lobe.
Me sitting on the side of a moon type structure watching The Elohim mak a nebulous
The Being who was there in the afterlife.
Close up of The Fibonacci plants growing, speaking and having a type “A” personality on the “baby bundle” that holds us (all the universes) inside the right upper lobe of the body.
The Fibonacci Designs growing on the outside surface of the bundle that protects the space for the universes and the rest of the body.
The Transfer or The Death Angel
This image, not my own, seems right. The feeling of peace was there in the universe during my NDE
My blood pressure before my NDE
Me in the hospital post my NDE

Beliefs, Verbiage We Use, Freedom, Open Your Door

Perspectives about how life works and occurs for humans and animals and living cells are different for all humans. Every person has a different concept of their belief system unless that dogma as been hammered into a soul over time, and presently governs that person. For example phrases in conversation like “Praise the Lord!” Or “Bless you,” and “I’ll pray for you,” are judged by the circle of the congregation of “Believers.” Also, the New Age Yoga word, “Namaste,” follows another type of believer who feels their need to express their beliefs and so that word, too, becomes a word meant for dogmatic control and protection from an offensive adversity.

The point I am making is this: We become so easily swayed/manipulated because we desire and want rulership and/or governorship by a “King,” or a dogmatic belief that says we are accepted, loved and fit into the large scope of the kingdom of people.

Is it possible to think outside these rules that govern the above and ask questions? Is it possible that we are driven to the place of DOGMA for a reason?

Is it possible, now ask yourself “possible” that we are controlled by ideas, rules, thoughts, sayings, words, phrases, magnetic energies of one, that govern us in such away. It is from somewhere else our designated and herded lives and circumstances assigns to our lives rewards with wealth or poverty. We accept this as truth and do not cross over the lines drawn in the invisible sands in less we are atheist and believe that only we ourselves control the universe or our surroundings.

We are afraid to ask this force or question the intentions of familiarity to a religion or political group or any ideology because of the fear of going to hell or dying a horrific death or being cast out of a society.

I write this above because my story of events are based on the above dogmatic beliefs, fears and control. I want you to know that I serve a loving God who is supportive of me personally and is happy when I go beyond the lines drawn in invisible vague old rotten shells and sands.

My next story will be about my childhood experiences with my father, a mechanical engineer, who designed missiles, rockets, ammunition, and had encounters of the third and fourth kind in the late 1950’s, 60, and 70’s. From his experiences came mine. Perhaps this is the reason I am able to photograph odd flying images. Or UFOs 🛸

July 6, 2016 South Tyler, TX, 2 miles North of Bullard, Tx

 

July 6, 2016

South Tyler, TX, 2 miles North of Bullard, Tx

A little after 8 pm

SSW moving slowly NNW

 

A brilliant light in sky

No other stars visible in any part of any of the sky

Caught my sons eyes because it was so brilliant. He’s not a UFO fan…

 

I took pictures anyway…

These are the same object with different lenses and enlargements…

 

The Abductee Informant

 

 

Your Watchman

 

Sunday afternoon:

The opening scene takes place in a grocery store parking lot in August where there are numerous vehicles parked and many people shopping. It wasn’t a chance meeting though it was meant to be brief and appear accidental. The setting is in a small city in The Bible Belt. It was an extroidinarily hot afternoon and there were no clouds in the sky. Three people greeted each other. Two knew each other previously, the young doctor and the informant, and the third person, his wife, was being introduced, even though, she was not invited, the doctor brought her. The doctor’s young children were with other family members as it had been planned, but not his wife.

The story dialogue begins with the young wife asking the female informant,

“Who are you and who are they? You have told my husband so much bullshit?”

The informant, double agent for whomever replied, “I don’t know, but can tell you sincerely, they are not lovely, nor are they kind.” She looked down in somber explanation and then looked up into the eyes of a questioning young wife.

The double agent stared at her. She said, “I didn’t seek your husband  out; they did.” She further added, “Guard your children. Never let them out of your site.” She looked away into a distant stare. She remembered her own children’s disappearances twenty-two years ago, even though, they returned changed somewhat. She would never forget the horrors and memories that would never go away. Her children told of her about men who did terrible things. Such horrific details she could not bare to listen to them. Each child taken at different times and by different people. She reflected for a moment about her own childhood and those men cloaked in black hoods and were taller than anyone she had ever seen. Their faces had been hidden from her, but she didn’t want to see. She hid under the covers on many cold nights.

The doctor’s wife said frantically, “Who the hell are you? What do you want?”

The female agent hesitated before she responded as she thought. It wasn’t that she was withholding information from the insisting young wife. No, but she was truly unsure of who she was or is to “them,” or anyone. “I am not sure of who I am, or why, or how I came into their services not by choice.”

“That makes no sense! What do you mean, you don’t know? Surely you know something? You’re lying.” The young wife was trembling as she was angry, frightened, and determined to understand the craziness of what she had just heard. “And, what do you mean when you say, guard my children? Are you threatening our family?”

The atmosphere was somber. The electricity of the moments before fell when the informant raised her hands and gently moved them slowly up and down from over head to lower than her hips settling and calming the air. The young wife at first thought the informant was aggressively posturing, but a few seconds later realized the movement was certainly not generated to cause any physical harm.

The female informant said, “I’m not here to harm you. I don’t have any hardcore answers. I’ve searched for those answers all my life. I can only tell you the little that I know. But, we must find a safe place. A place underground and protected. We’re being tracked. They must not see that we connected. And, I hope it’s not too late.”

The young doctor of medicine spoke up. He had been silent because he was as confused as his wife. “Where do you suggest that we meet?”

The informant said, “Go to your office Monday and work just like any other day.” Then, to the young wife she advised the same. “I will arrange the place and the connection.” She told the doctor, “I will call for an appointment and will tell you then the particulars, but know your office is not safe. They will track and listen to  us. You can not write a note to me there in my presence or speak of this. Understand? You will not call me and I won’t call you unless it’s for an appointment.”

He nodded yes.

The informant said, “We must break this meeting up, now.”

“He said, “Will this be soon?”

“Not sure. It could be awhile. We have to leave some gaps in time. They’re tracking us even now,” she responded quietly.

The young doctor’s wife said, “This is crazy.”

The informant nodded in agreement. “I’m going now.” She gets in her old white 2005 Honda Accord and starts the engine. She opens the car window on her way out and says loudly to the young doctor’s wife, as to be heard, “It was so nice to meet you.” She drove out of the parking lot.

 

Chapter 2

Monday

The female informant takes the little amount of cash from her piggy bank, she takes the money and speeds of to The closes discount store. At the back of the store she purchases three cell phones. One for the doctors wife, one for the doctor and one for herself and places them in bubble wrap in a large envelope. She puts only the doctors name on it and tightly licks the glue on the envelope and presses it tightly. She also included the instruction for the cell use to each other only. Use it as little a possible. All regular medical calls were to be by appointment and by going through the secretary, just like normal. She left the store and drove to pick up her grandson who is getting out of summer day camp. The boy is ten.

“Grandma, where are we going?” This wasn’t their usual way to go home and he had friends to play with so he was in a hurry. “Why are we going this way?”

“No worries. We have to drop off papers at the doctors office.” She pulled up in front of the front door drive. She handed the boy the envelope and said, “Tell the receptionist this is for him and open as soon as he can” So, the boy did just what he was told.

“Now can we go?” He was whiny and put out that he was delayed as he got into the car.

“What did the receptions say? Did you her that the doctor was waiting for her records and they were important?” The female informant asked her grandchild.

“They were nice and said, “Who sent it? And, I told them, you did and you said it was important.” The kid was sighing as he had things to do. “Can we go now?”

She, the female informant smiled at the boy and drove away wondering how soon the phones would be delivered and will he open the package then, and would the secretary loudly announce who brought them? She ruminated about this. Should she call him to be certain he got the?

The receptionist hand delivered the packages to the doctor when he was sitting in his office. He said, “What’s this?”

The receptionist said, “Oh Mrs. Smith, you know the kind of crazy one, said you were expecting these.” She smiled as she stood in the door waiting and watching him open the notes as she was told by the boy. “I sure hope her grandchild won’t be that looney.”

The doctor stopped opening the package and said, “That’s okay. I’ll open the latter. We have work to do.” He arose and put the envelope on his chair and scooted it under the desk. He shut the door behind him as it automatically locked. He then took the envelope and carefully opened it and looked at the two phones. Man, she’s serious about this craziness. He put them in his briefcase and the note in his shirt pocket.

 

 

Chapter 3

Monday Evening:

Later he made his first call to the informant. He was alone in his car and he soon pulled over on the side of a dark road hidden under trees where it was safe. He called the informant.

“I thought you said this would happen later? What’s going on?” The doctor’s voice was hostile, angry, but on the other hand ~ He called her.

“Glad you called so quickly. We have work to do.” The informant was short and to the point. She walked outside away from her home just in case her voice was transmittable from inside her home. She took a leisure walk as far as she could and stopped.

“What do I have to do with your delusions?” Firmly, he insisted an answer. “Leave my family out of your charades, you understand me!”

“Trust me, your family is in danger, doctor.” The informant bounced back at him. “Your wife shouldn’t have come Sunday, so why did you bring her?”

The doctor was silent, then he said, “Because, in case you were hitting on me, then she would see and intercept this bizarre fabrication. I should have you arrested for stalking.”

“So, why don’t you?” She was silent.

“I’m not sure.” He paused, “Perhaps, I’m interested in your tales of cloak and daggers, your mysteries of God knows what.”

The informant listened, “Go on. Any more , hmm?

“You talk. Your turn. Explain your business.” The doctor fell quiet. “And, to add, the phones. A little over the top, for a twisted sorted game, I’d say.”

She didn’t hesitate. “Did you see the laboratory notes in the envelope?”

“No.” He responded.

“I put two reports from my distant past and one of a recent test. Both under the name of Mrs. Smith.”

“Okay. Tests of what kind?” He reached for the envelope on the car seat next to him and opened it.

“Lab tests with my DNA. You will notice that both tests have 1% Neanderthal and the old test has 2% unknown DNA and the latest has 3.5% unknown.” The informant waits for him to answer.

“Wait a minute let me look.” He ruffles with the pages. “You know DNA is not my expertise.”

“Just look.” She shot back quickly.

“Yes, I see, but still I don’t know what this means, I don’t do DNA.” He’s disconcerted with her for insisting him involuntarily into matters he is unlearned.

She sighed having her own frustrations with his lack of concern or understanding.

“What do these reports have to do with me? I ask you again. Stop with the vagueness.” He insisted.

She thought, “I want you to have labs drawn on me again, then on your self.”

“What? That’s absurd. Why should I carry on with your delusional mystery?” He continued to look at the lab reports and her DNA. He recognized the lab values were not matching and are increasing and thought, why? “Why do I have to test mine? Why am I relevant to your search?”

“I will be in this week and you will draw labs on me under the name of Mrs. Smith, right?” She restated her request.

“Yes, come into the office Wednesday noon. No one but the staff will be around. I’ll just tell them it’s for labs that had to be drawn at noon. But, mine… not sure.” He gave clear instructions to the informant and took control of her craziness.

“Okay, Wednesday at noon, I’ll be there, but if my labs are remarkable then you will draw yours?” She took control again.

“Okay. Deal. But, what does your DNA have to do with mine? We’re not related.” He hesitated, “Are we?”

“Well, yes, in away we are.” She said, “I’ll see you Wednesday.”

They hung up and she walked back to her house. It started to thunder. Rain was coming soon.

 

Chapter 4

He was busy the early part of the week. The young doctor didn’t have time to think about the strange phone cal except the last words the crazy Mrs.  Smith, the odd informant said, “Well, yes, in away we are.” And, this bothered him. These words got under his skin.  What exactly did she mean? 

Wednesday noon:

“Hello Mrs. Smith.” The young doctor unlocked the door to the clinic. “Come on back.”

The informant Mrs. Smith was directed to the phlebotomy room. “Our phlebotomist is on her lunch break so if you’ll allow me to do it, then I’ll have it done in no time.” He was friendly and spoke loudly so the staff could hear him and think nothing about a noon lab draw. After all, the doors were shut at exactly noon. He had all the vials, the tourniquet, the needles and the centrifuge ready. “May I get you a coke or coffee?”

“A coke would be good. Thank you,” She responded.

“Before you drink the coke,” after he handed it to her, “Let me swab your mouth for DNA. We’ll do it every way we can to get comparisons. Okay?”

“Yes, that’s fine.” She seemed glum and was quiet, but decided chit chat would be best in case she was tracked into his office and was being listened to. “How has your week been?”

The doctor, nodded his head, “Here make a fist” as he had placed the tourniquet on her upper arm, “The week has been quite unusual. The office has been busy as all get out.”

She smiled. “Unusual?”

“Oh, nothing too crazy.” He chuckled under his breath.

“I see sarcasm, doctor.” She sighed. “I hope everything is back to your normal routine?”

“Absolutely. Things couldn’t be better.” He cut it short. He was beginning to sweat. He blew a vein. “Dam-it. I have to use the other arm.”

“Dam-it? Do you always talk this way around clients?” She acted upset. “Calm down. I don’t have all day. I have to go back to work soon.”

He shut up and put the tourniquet tightly on the left arm. “That should do it.” He was successful and unsnapped the cord. “There you go. Finished. The labs will be sent out after lunch.” He escorted her to the door and opened for her. “I’ll call you with the results, Mrs. Smith.”

“Make me copies. I will pick them up.” She turned quickly not to show any familiar behavior in case they were being watched. Off she went in the old white Honda.

The doctor walked into the office and sat down at the computer. He added a drug screen and a BAC to the labs. This way he would no if the woman was drunk, on drugs and her DNA which he was now curious of.

He wanted to ask Mrs. Smith for her real name, but thought about the fact that having too much information was irrelevant and would involve him even farther than he wanted. Nope, he answered his curiosity.

 

Chapter 5

Two weeks passed by and he had not thought about the labs or Mrs. Smith. After all, he was a busy doctor with many patients and his wife surely would have him involved in more social activities than he wanted. So, the thoughts of those two dilemmas were simply dismissed.

Mrs. Smith, the female informant, laid low and never once called him on the cell phones or contacted his office. However, she ruminated about the findings and wondered why he had not contacted her about the results. She bit her nails and chewed them off, but she was silently waiting.

Another Wednesday two point five days later:

The fax machine was shooting out labs as it usually did at any doctors office. The lab tech took them off the machine and delivered the results to the prospective doctors. She put values into the young doctors box on the outside of his door where he would see them and read them. He did just that and noticed in the pile of fifteen or more pages the name Mrs. Smith. She had several of the fifteen pages. He closed the door behind him and sat to look them over. The first one was the drug screen. It was negative of any substance then he looked at the BAC. No alcohol present in her blood system. “Damn she’s clean a a whistle.” He flipped through to the DNA results. And sure enough the swab of the oral mucosa results were conclusive to the last results she had. 3.5% Unknown and 1% Neanderthal, he whispered to hime self. He didn’t know any DNA specialists, he didn’t know what this meant.

“Amy,” he yelled.

“Yes, doctor.” Amy poked into his office.

“Find a local DNA or Genetic engineer, doctor or someone I can send a DNA consult out to.” The doctor ordered right now and Amy got right on it…

She called around and found  a Doctor not far away. She wrote his number and address down and took it into the young doctor.

He placed a call and was able to get through to the doctor when he identified himself as a doctor.

“Doctor DNA, this is the young doctor, and I wanted to ask about normal and abnormal DNA percentages. Could you tell me if 3.5% is unusual in oral mucosa for a normal human level?

Could you tell me where I can look such information up? A reference perhaps?” The young doctor asked collegiately.

The elder doctor replied after he cleared his throat, “You say 3.5% doctor?”

“Yes, that’s right, 3.5%.” The young doctor clarified.

“That can’t be right. test again. The lab is wrong. Can’t be.” And he was certain in the tone of his voice, the young doctor was mistaken.

“No, this is the second recent result. They are the same from two different labs.” There was a silence between the two men and the fund doctor said, “Well, I’ve taken up enough of your time. Thank you, anyway.”

“Yes, he added those two results are wrong. Your patient would not be human, sir. Well, good day, call again if you need me.” The elder doctor thought the question was odd and the response that two different tests from two different labs verified the same 3.5% values and this was more than interesting, indeed. He wished he had gotten the young doctors number, but he didn’t. He asked his secretary, but she had gone for the day, as usual.

The young doctor hung up and wished he hadn’t called the consulted doctor. But, he waited for the staff to leave saying good bye then he attempted to draw his own labs as he promised. Finally after stabbing himself three times was able to get them, four vials, in an upside down manner on the arm. He put them in the refrigerator and with a label the lab staff told him, after an inquiring call, for a miscellaneous practice draw. No charges, no questions, just a practice. He made two copies for the informant as he promised. He put them in the brief case, and sped off to the tree area on the side of the road where he could call her. Meanwhile, his wife called and asked why he was late?

“You forgot we had a diner party tonight? You’re late.” She demanded that he answer and she demonstrated her anger of missing such an event.

“Sorry, working late and I’ll be thirty more minutes. Go on without me.” He was sweet to her placating her for now.

He pulled the car over under the trees off the side of the road. There was no one around. He made his call on the cell phone the female informant, Mrs. Smith provided.

The phone rang several times. He did not leave a message. The messages had not been set up. Mrs. Smith thought that would be best, no messages to be traced. He began to drive home and when he arrived the house was empty. His children were staying with his inlays for the night. He didn’t feel like attending a dinner party so instead he poured a Jack on the rocks. He sat in a comfortable slouchy chair in the dark and thought of what the labs meant to him. What did Mrs. Smith mean when she said they are related?

His private cell from Mrs. Smith rang. It was her. He answered quietly. “Hello.”

“I’ve been waiting for you to call, well? Any results?” She jumped into the labs without any surface conversation.

“Yes, I have them. And, your two copies.” He shot back at her.

“Well, what do they say? Did you make me copies?” She was eager to hear the results that she was certain concrete as she thought.

“They are conclusive to your other labs. 3.5% unknown in oral mucosa.” He paused.

“I want the copies. Where can I meet you?” She hurried not wanting to miss the results or to allow time to prevent her from getting them.

“Not tonight. I’m too tired. Come to the secretaries in the morning. They will be there.” He again took control as that was his nature.

“No, not at your office. Bump into me tomorrow at the store just like in August at Mid-day. We can greet and pass the envelope like everything is normal.” She was in control.

“Okay, but meet me at 2pm. I have meetings until then. Oh, my wife has come home. Got to go.” He hung up the cell and put it in the brief case.

“Hello honey. Why didn’t you come. Everyone waited for you.” She was tall and red headed like Maureen O’ Hara and fiesta like her, as well.

“Too busy. I just got home.” He swirled the bourbon in the glass.

“Well, you should have called to let us know to eat without you. Is that bourbon? Are you drinking alone in the dark? That bad, huh?”She could interrogate with her lean body and red hair better than an FBI agent. “What could be so imperative to a family care doctor?”

He rolled his eyes at her sarcastic put-down of being only, in his mind, a family care doctor? Geez, what does a man have to do to get recognition and respect? Damn her. 

 

Chapter 6

Early the next day he got a call on the private cell. He was on his way to work and alone driving in the rain.

The informant female says, “It’s not a good idea to meet you at 2pm. Is there any way you could meet me now? Do you have the labs reports with you?”

“I have them with me. I’m close to work and have only a few extra minutes. Where?” He responded quickly.

“Park your car at the grocery and walk to the post office. Go through their backdoor. I’ll walk there and be there in ten minuets.” She hung up.

He was early that morning with thirty minutes to spare. So, this plan of hers would work. Driving the car to the grocery and parking it he then got out and walked as if he were going into the store, but he walked the sidewalk to the post office where the most office boxes were and walked out the back door. She was standing there in the rain.

“Well, come inside, out of the rain.” He insisted.

“Just let me have the results.” She put her hand out and he gave her the labs reports.

“If you have any questions call me later. I gotta go,” he said. There were people starting to come in and he felt unusually uncomfortable to the beautiful grandmother informant, Mrs. Smith. “What’s your real name by the way?”

She didn’t smile. “It’s not a game doctor. This is not a flirtatious meeting or coincidental rendezvous, understand?”

The young doctor had to check his emotions. She was right, he was feeling like this was a scandalous rendezvous and he was rather enjoying himself. He forgot this was a bazaar story about wild DNA and a weird woman. The mysterious excitement was taking him into a fantasy of types.

“You’ll need to watch your pheromones, doctor. This is serious. By the way, did you draw your labs?” She raised a doubting eyebrow at him.

“Yes, yes I did.” He retorted. People were coming into the post office. It was 8:05am. “I got to go. Late now. When my labs come in, I’ll call you.” He left in the rain from the front door and followed his path to the store and then his car. As far as he knew, no one saw him. He felt sneaky and ashamed for feeling flirtatious, for enjoying a life of increased adrenalin. He never felt that way before…

 

Chapter 7

Almost Fall

The young doctor went about his work and social functions and left the flirtatious misinterpretations behind. After all, Mrs. Smith was a grandmother and not a normal stereotypical woman who would be considered as a rendezvous for a primary care physician. So, he carried on as usual.

The grandmother informant, Mrs. Smith was about the business as usual, too. Only hers were menial and mundane while in the office. However, after 5pm, it was the usual adrenalin rush she had experienced since she was a child. Once in a while they would visit her at night. The clock usually said 3am or close. They were not consistently on time, but they gave a few minutes on either side of 3. However, she was older now and their visitation numbers and times to visit were fewer, thank God. She did believe in God or a supreme power. She had to believe because something always saved her from their grip.

It was for the reason of monetary purpose that the informant did astrological forecast for extra money and for the fact she loved astrology. She finished a woman’s chart who lived in Oregon and noticed intently that this woman had similar coordinates as herself. It was later in central time as Oregon so she called the woman for clarification. The phone rang and the woman picked up.

“Hello,” she said.

“Yes, hello,” the informant had a Southern drawl from being and living in The Bible Belt for so long. “This is Lottie the astrologer and I need to clarify your information, is now a good time?”

“Oh yes! Now is great.” The woman answered.

There are unusual themes in your astrological readings and I need to verify your birthdate and time of birth Is it 1952? And, were you born at 7:58Am in Portland, Oregon?” Lottie asked.

“Yes, that is correct.” The woman replied.

“Okay, good. So, I want to explain that in 1952, October 10th, The Constellation Ophiochus was arising in the Eastern sky. This is rare to occur and we know the zodiac has 12 houses, but in your case 13… Lottie waits for a response.

“Very insightful,” the woman replies. “Do go into more of this. I’ve never heard of a 13th house in The Zodiac.”

“Sagittarius is in the twelfth house and is also your ascendant and it is also sitting near the constellation Ophiochus or Asclepius . This would say you are a strong believer in a force much greater than most other men. Your Chiron is also near the ascendant and close to the constellation Asclepius and would indicate you are a healer. Are you a health employee?”

“Yes. I am a nurse.” The woman proudly answered.

“That would explain Ophiochus/Asclepius in your chart on the horizon at the time of your birth,” Lottie explained.

“I’m not aware of that name or custom.” The nurse responded.

“I’ll send it as a text. Look it up. The myth goes like this. The constellation on the horizon at the time of your birth would be in the eastern sky. Asclepius was then coming up or arisen. You could then, identify with the constellation as your birth home if you thought that we are all star children and connected spiritually. It is reported that Ophiochus/Asclepius  is your DNA home or where your descendants came. You are from that Constellation and nearest star to you at the time of birth would be the home of the star that your family came. That is where your spirit came from, if you believed that’s a possibility and wanted to know more, there are references to this information.”

The woman closed down.  She was somewhat shocked and refuting the ideas. “Oh, that’s silliness,” she responded and laughed. “That’s not feasible. No, can’t go there. I’m Christian and star children and aliens are not anything that I take any part of. Astrology is just fun. That’s why I did this reading with you. Can’t do the other.”

Lottie shut down, also. “Well, if you need me for future reading please contact me. You now have my number. She realized that she wasn’t going there and wasn’t interested. Perhaps frightened by the idea that we came from alien life forms.

“Well, good night Lottie,” she said her goodbyes.

“Goodnight.” And, Lottie hung up disappointed because the woman was clueless. She saw no reason to forward the woman any further any information.

Lottie, Mrs. Smith or the female informant sat on the couch thinking about the phone call with the woman in Portland. Recollecting their conversation it provoked dismay and anger because the woman said that her astrological read was indeed, “A joke between Christian friends who chose the same birthday and decided together to do a test. They would send the same birth information to three of four astrologers to see if they all came up with the same natal horoscope.”

Lottie had explained to the woman, “I don’t use computer generated charts and interpretations. My interpretations are original and I personally sift through the data the information provided.”

This didn’t impress the woman in Portland. The woman was certain that all of the reports were simply conjured from “a demon.”

Lottie was disappointed, but she went on and gave it any more thoughts.

The thunder came again. Lottie lost power in her home. She lit candles. It was soon to be her birthday. She too was from Asclepius. It was on the eastern horizon at the time of her birth.

She thought about the doctor and his birthday. “Could his birthday say the same. How could I get his birth information without seeming bizarre? After all, the doctor was living in The Bible Belt and he may hold the same belief system as the woman in Portland? Well, he already thinks I’m bizarre enough. It can’t hurt anymore to ask.”

The thunder boomed overhead. It shook the house. I hate nights like this.

Lottie hated nights like this one because they, whomever they are, would sometimes pay her a visit and since she was on a quest to find information and other human victims were more than likely angry with her. For these reasons she feared they would come, Lottie expected them soon, possibly tonight. There was no absolute telling about their arrival except it would be between 2 and 3AM.

Lotto’s adrenalin was high. She felt it rising. She had to work in the morning and knew with her norepinephrine this high, sleep would be hard to fall into. She took a Xanax and used the dose by a half.

She marveled at the coincidence of having an appointment with the young doctor. The previous doctor moved out of town and for this reason she was absorbed into the new young doctors patient list. The first appointment two years prior she had with him was normal, and without any odd or strange feelings. He was a doctor and there was no signs or odd occurrences that pointed to any connections with him. Lottie thought about the first time she had an eyebrow raising experience with him.

It was when she had her second appointment to see him. He neared her to listen to her chest, suddenly a vibrational shock happened, they both felt and jumped. They blamed it on static electricity. However, Lottie saw it differently, but she drew no conclusions or conjured anything from her imagination. But he had something else that captivated her. His eyes. They were blue and sometimes green and the pupils changed rapidly. The way he glanced at her for a split second, his pupils and her own met. It was hard to explain to a normal person. It was not flirtatious or romantic by any means. No, it was like two railcars latching together conjoining to become one. Clink. She felt it. They matched. Another piece of the puzzle had been found. Lottie was certain that the young doctor was the one. Could his birth have the same coordinates as hers and since he was a doctor would certainly be interesting to investigate. If he was also born with Ophiochus on the horizon than this could only mean that he is the link, the one person who would help her. After all, he would be helping himself and his children. Asclepius would be his origins. The Serpent Bearer, the healer.

She knew she was imaginative and had to check on occasion, if things were real, or psychotic. Not once had she been diagnosed with psychosis, but when psychologist and doctors examined her, they simply said, “It’s in your imagination. You’re quite creative, aren’t you?”

She had to agree with them on the creative description. That is a fact. She was imaginative, but high levels of norepinephrine could usher epinephrine synergistically. Her mind was going that night, all of the what if’s, could be this or that, and so forth, had her in a whirlwind. The Xanax Thank God was kicking in… Her mind began to slow down and she went to her bedroom, took her clothes off, laid in bed and drifted off to the land of no thoughts or adrenalin. She loved that place.

 

Chapter 8

Rem Sleeping

The thundered rolled all night. Though it was now distant, it still reverberated the small house.

Lottie slept soundly, snoring in and out with the cool breeze of October. Her windows had opened and she was not startled, nor moved. Sleeping as soundly as one could, she had no cares. No lights were on and only shadows from the lightening and trees danced on her walls. This never frightened Lottie as she was use to terrifying images and these were natural and she hadn’t a care about how they played out violent themes on her walls or had ghost faces appearing in the mirages of shadows. The images carried on as she slept undisturbed.

Standing tall, hidden in the corner an entity stood, watching her. No facial expressions it had and time was of no concern by the looks of the thing. Its finger arose from its side cloaked in a black robe and it pointed at the clock. Time stopped then as she slept.

Bright lights everywhere. Not Earthly, by any means, they illuminated the cold metallic room, as she laid on a slate slab. Cold with vapor rising, humidifying the room, Lottie opened her eyes. She knew this place all too well, it was a place of torture and a place of hell. She screamed, “NO!” Paralyzed without restraints, as usual, and her mouth muzzled by invisible sources, her screams were not heard by anyone or anything. She hoped God heard her and would send angels to free her. Eyes were wide open, breathing in and out through her nose, she looked around as far as her peripheral vision could go, she felt movement, and from ten feet or more she saw shadows.

This time there were no instruments used on her body, no sounds that broke her ear drums, there was filling the space of tall figures of whom she saw no faces. They surrounded the slate slab where she laid, and permeated her body with mental messages. Threatening her to stop her investigations, to stop visits with the doctor. They showed her the room next to her as the walls separating vanished and in the next room were two children.  The children of the doctors, lay.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sometimes God Whispers

Sometimes God Whispers, and sometimes He is silent. 

Silence is golden it’s been said.

When God talks to you, the body and mind come into one unit of sheer joy during the synchronization of the two separate parts of a person. Some have called this meshing of energies, “Goose bumps.” Anyway we see or experience God’s communication, it is an awe inspiring moment and during that moment life seems to stop. Life matters no more because the coming together or the meeting of our minds to God’s is beyond words, expressions or explanation. When it occurs, time dissipates and what is or remains, is a moment of pure clarity with The Mind and thoughts of Gods.

Hendrick ter Brugghen, Esau Selling His Birthright, c. 1627

So weirdly, at age 62, I dreamed, last night that I was pregnant. I felt terrified because, I knew, after experiencing child labor two times in my earlier years, I wasn’t physically able to birth this child that I was carrying. I looked down at my belly. It was huge! The skin around my umbilicus was tight and round. It was a 9 month pregnancy round. I looked up at God who said nothing, but He continued to work like a grand old surgeon does. And then, my first birth pang began. Horrified and vulnerable to His plans, I had no choice, but to surrender. God let them start. The thoughts of not only did I realize that I couldn’t physically give birth at 62, but the mental and emotional aspect for parenthood and raising another child was beyond my capabilities. The energy needed was greater than my reserves. I whispered back to God and said, “Please, no, I can’t do this.”

It, the birthing process, began anyway. God did not stop this birth. He didn’t speak to me, nor have eye contact. His internal presence and His will was understood by a fearce impression of I know that I know and there are or were no if this, and that, nor any whining persuasions using the words, but God.The horror of it all was before me and I knew what I had to endure His plan no matter what. I said, then, Knock me out! And the next thing I saw was an epidural needle. They placed it in my back after they rolled me to the side. I fell deeply asleep.

I awakened this morning at 0400, as I usually do, and remembered nothing, but that I felt happy. By the time 0600 came the memories of this dream began to creep back. I noticed my abdomen is unusual feeling. It is at this time, I realized that God whispered something to me in the night hours. Something occurred. I must wait, listen and heed as His whispers are revealed.

I suspect He has told me, that no matter how big the circumstance appears, I will go through it and even if I do not understand all things, it must happen. For our ways are not His. Trusting Him is the only way. There is no negotiation, no complaining, no pouting, no refusal at this stage of the game of life.

Shadow People

IMG_0339
Shadows on my walls are silent
Yet, wield stories; often violent
Because messages must be told
Within my self, my heart does hold
And the stories that were uttered
Hushed intrusive others
Surrounded by the shadowy figures
In silence, I mouthed their nameless brothers
Walking in the past held memories
The dreams of my enemies
Explaining their inner pains
Listening, though I kept their refrain
Then my pneuma knew for certain
The tear of that curtain
From whence the shadows came
Stepped out from him and is to blame
And in the darkness were several lights
Beaming hundreds, of tiny sights
Music heard from here and there
Sounds vibrating ghostly everywhere
And the birth of a tiny star did shape
Within that void
Troubled stories within shadows of souls
Well, laugh at me if you must!
The lost brothers who had no trust
Listen cowards with opened ears
Listen closely they’ll be no cheers
The words will not be enough
silently whispered and then hushed
Forever silenced, within, she wept
There the crowds morned her loss
Though misunderstood dimmed her gloss
There she stood amidst her kin
She glowing from within
She held a sign for all to read
“The shadows are no longer silent, indeed”
And her peace finally came resting
When the ghostly images retreated from molesting
Pluto Knows
Pluto Knows
* Disclaimer and to clear up anyone who might think this is about a personal rape, molestation or abduction, to clarify, this is just fictional writing and jotting down what comes to mind.
 By Bonnie Jennings ©2015 #Bojenn All Right’s Reserved

I Know What You’re Up To

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I Know

The young woman tells the final story. Her last chapter is complete. 

“Darkness covered the room. At midnight, the chimes from the grandfather clock resounded a deep, “dong, dong, dong, and dong.”
“The clock didn’t awaken me. The chimes never do, but I always expect them, the others, that is. They’re, always, right on time. It’s their, time to come. I sense it. Like an odor, or breeze or an internal alarm that warns me.

Her mature voice shifts. It changes into a young girls. Under the covers, the seven year old hides. She says that she shivers in fear and dread while they, the male beings, occupy her bedroom.

“Maybe, they won’t notice, that I’m awake. They usually don’t, but one night, they might. What then? What should I do?” She asks.

I don’t know what to tell her. I’ve never had them visit. There are no solutions to help her. I wonder if she is being sexually assaulted? I listen, but there is no mention of touching or fondling, not even a kiss. So, I wait. My antenna will know the moment I should question.

Her eyes are huge. I see she is telling the truth.

“The beats of my heart will surely tell the black cloaked monks, I’m faking sleep.” She sighs and looks up at me with the saucer shaped eyes.

“They enter my bedroom, from out of the closet. Twelve, midnight, when the clock dongs, I know, they are coming. The leaves from the forest that surround our home have shimmering grey colors that seem to dance like stick indians on my bedroom walls. The images fervently sway in madness of movements. I know then, to expect, the friars. And, as certain, as fall follows summer, they will come. Three, of them, usually.” She pauses, then`

“Sometimes four, walk out of my closet from behind the doors.” She whispers with downcast eyes when she tells this story.

“They are extremely tall. They’re working doing, something. My bed covers over my head, cloak their activities. They will peer over my body, looking to see me sleeping. They don’t know everything. But, if I look at them, their red eyes stare. I can’t see a face. They tell me to, ‘shut up.’ Meaness. That’s all I can say. They’re no good.”

I look at her. Dumbfounded. Hopelessly, there is nothing, I can say. After the hypnosis session, she passed the polygraph, which she agreed to, and I don’t know how to help her. What can I say? 

Standing up to leave my office, she adds on her way out ~

“Doctor, the last time they tried to visit, I give them this look. They no longer bother me. And, now, that I’ve got their look, they seldom pay me, social calls….”

She gave me a haunting stare that passed through me. 

“Oh, by the way, doctor … you may want to get rid of the grand father clock in your hall. It keeps your children up. They can’t sleep after the gongs at midnight occur.”

What? I look at her, but she has shut the door. After a brief pause, I ran after her, but she was gone. Bewildered by her last comment, I was paralyzed. Fear overtook me, as I saw the same look on my son this morning.