I must give my opinion, and it involves the word “god.”
In my NDE last year, there was never any one entity that held the title of “God/god/gods” and that singular word is absolutely to small. I actually explained this concept to two Hebrew authors and one Interpretor who was trying to pinpoint the true meaning of “God” in their texts.
The universes have no known beginning nor start nor ending, that we know of, correct? The human idea of “God” is the one who created everything, are you still following me? So, if we know this, then our entire concept of who and what “god” is changes.
“He” no longer is the grand creator of the universes. And now, knowing this we can bring our ideas and concepts of “God” to “god” our Creator Source.
During my NDE, last year, I witnessed The Elohim (Hebrew; gods; plural) creating a nebulous in the outer perimeters of the universes. The Elohim was sincerely a creator, and joyfully went about making grand designs of planetary systems. The Elohim was unconnected to my emotional status, nor any others emotions, as it’s main goal and objective is to create and that’s all. It is the judge and master artist of The Universes or perhaps one of them. There maybe many Elohim’s, but I just saw one.
The plant system had its hierarchy and its creators sources, as well.
The humans have their own creators. And, this is another topic for another day.
However, the final end result could go backwards into an implosion and reversal into a singular form of energy where it was spoken out by a source beyond us and out of our world. Zip and swoosh backwards through the spiral rapidly going back through time and space, sucking all atmospheres, times, fractals, fractions and all mathematics into nothingness of “the void.”
It’s a huge concept, I realize, and difficult to grasp. I think fractals and sacred geometry on Earth would help with a little known of the concept of who and what our creator/(s) is/are. Outside of Earth, Sacred Geometry takes on different shapes and mathematical equations because of “time.” Outside of earth is different than any other places and likewise so are all the different bodies of comets, stars, planets and etc. Time, magnetic, gravity, atmosphere and seasons (temperatures and humidities), all effect Earth differently than other bodies of materials whether it it atomic or not. Time is effected.
Are we important? Yes.
Our learning experience is a curve that will set us into another dimension.
Our love will also take us to new heights.
We must ascend, as I was taught during my NDE.
To ascend, one must be cleansed from negativity.
We must let it go in order to achieve, to know, and to understand all that’s available and this knowledge will go on forever and ever….
My Near-Death Experience 2.8.2019
I was cold and not feeling well about anything. It was early 2019. The fall prior to then was hurried, confusing, filled with nursing exams, and health exams, and to add, I started a new job. A job I thought would last me, the rest of my working career. Orientation was a solid month. Good. I could sit in a chair for 8 hours and learn. I was a good student. I learned to be one at an older age.
The day came when they said, “everyone must have a flu vaccine. If you don’t take it, then you’ll have to wear a mask for 8 hours.” I knew there was going to be a problem. The last two times that I took the damn injections, I was sick. The 24 HR ER became my best friend for both years. The last year that I took it was 2014. I tried to explain that I has asthma and couldn’t wear a mask for 8 hours. That’s insane and besides masks only work for less than 5 minutes. Good grief. A psychiatrist didn’t take it, and we knew she could get away with it and my best nursing buddy there also didn’t take it. She wore the mask around her neck. She never put it on. She had a doctors note. I didn’t. As it turns out, they (neither one) never wore their masks.
And I… got sick from the shot, almost immediately. They said, “can’t wear a mask, then you’ll have to resign.” So, I refused to quit and took the flu shot. The nurse had a handful of injections, maybe 10 or 15. In nursing this is a HUGE NO NO. I let her give me the injection using one of the many drawn up vaccinations.
In two weeks both of my eyes dilated. My primary care physician sent me to an Opthamalogist and I went to my own. Both said, but not my pcp, “you touched a medication without gloves. Your eyes dilated.” That was the stupidest diagnosis I had ever heard in the 22 years of nursing. I had touched multiple pills and never had any reaction for 21 to 22 years. This was bullshit. We wash our hands very quickly. By the way, my pcp knew that was a lame reason labeled to my case.
The days progressed into Christmas, New Years, and on Jan 21, 2019, I resigned. My eyes were still dilated, bilaterally. I couldn’t go outside in the sunlight without sun glasses. I could only work at night. So, I started watching children who were on life support, at night.
On February 8th, that was the last day and evening that I remember. My body had swollen perhaps 15 lbs in less than 24 hours. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t eat. I was sick.
Death; Is It Painful?
How often, I’ve been asked this question or have read it at NDE sites. My answer is truthful and is what I experienced for many hours prior to death. It is unlike many who say that dying was easy. The actual passing over was a breeze, but the dying was not an easygoing event. Nope. Far from it.
Basic anatomy and physiology class begins now as I explain death, as I experienced it.
Being one with chronic asthma and numerous allergies, just never know what’s going to bite you, or poison you. I will take you to my last twenty-four hours, that I can remember.
I worked as a RN one night with a child. The next morning, I left not feeling well. I couldn’t pinpoint what was happening, but I couldn’t breathe and my asthma began to escalate. I drove home with my inhaler in hand.
The Sun was rising and I went to bed. I slept for not to long. My son made a gourmet lunch and it looked wonderful and it tasted well, but I couldn’t eat it. I was nauseated, but couldn’t eat. I was drinking water, lots of it to clear my lungs of mucus that had crept down my esophagus. The water helped.
I went back to sleep and slept until maybe late afternoon and I awakened in the middle of a severe asthma attack. I grabbed my emergency inhalers and used them what seems over and over again. I remember that I had a home nebulizer, so I got up and cleaned it with shaky hands and weakness in my legs. “There, it’s clean. Let me find the packaged medicine.” I found it and cut it open as I am also hooking up the tubing so that I can breathe. I turned it on and started to breathe easier… for a little while.
The time? I don’t know. It was getting later and later.
I got up again to use my machine again. I knew that I had to go to the hospital, but I was tired and getting confused. I suddenly urinated on the floor. “My god! I’ve never done this, ever! What’s happening?!?”
Every breathe that I took was inadequate and the lack of oxygen or deoxygenation or anoxic conditions were getting overbearing. It seemed that the demand for oxygen was intensified by my lungs and the asthmatic medications no longer worked. Every cell in my body was being drained of oxygen. In fact, I probably was beginning to look like a dried prune. The inspirations were draining every cell inside my circulatory system of the oxygen.. it was hungry. It stole mega amounts. I kept peeing on the floor. This is because of the deoxygenated cells. The fluids had to go somewhere, so the fluids (not excess, but my own everyday needed oxygen) were wasted in my urine.
The 10:00 PM news came on and said, “this is the coldest night of the year. There is ice on the roads (in East Texas and that’s scary because we don’t know how to drive on ice) so please stay home.”
Damn it! I picked the worse night of the year to die!
My son walked by my bedroom and I yelled, “call an ambulance, tell them to hurry. I’m dying. I can’t breathe.” I suddenly passed out. It was about 11:30 PM, 2.8.2019.
Oddly, the ER report says, 2.9.2019, 10:32 AM. My son says that what I imagined didn’t happen. He said I spoke to him that morning. Pause and deep recollection by me.
“Nope, I clearly remember the news reporter that evening on 2.8.2019, not 2.9.” I mean, I remember, falling onto my bed and being gone and absent from my body before my head hit the pillow. Gone as in deceased, yet a new day was on the ER report and another story was told to me. Damn, I am either highly confused, or something happened and I was gone a very long time. My journey to the other side was filled with details and it took place over many places and eras of time.
The dying part is horrific, at least in my experience, but the entrance into the other place is phenomenal. It is unlike anything you’ve ever read as it’s impossible to draw an accurate picture as it’s changing all the time. It is also extremely difficult to describe to the exact degree that it was witnessed. There are no dreams, no medications, no afterlife experiences that can accurately describe what is there. It’s impossible, scary, charming, bizarre, and endearing. All in one story,, one experience, in a description that tries its best to tell you whats there. It’s impossible. The English language won’t, and cannot explain the colors nor the liveliness of the entire place that speaks, communicates, laughs and creates together.
Alice In Wonderland is my best explanation of how I felt while visiting. But, to get to that place, once again, takes death. We all we do it. Everyone of us will pass through the entrance alone.
“Today, my dearest mother, Bonnie Jennings, was taken from and given back to us. What began as severe chest congestion last night ended up in respiratory arrest this morning.
Accordingly, she went without oxygen long enough that her heart stopped beating. Chest compressions and CPR were not restarting her heart. In the ambulance, approximately 15 minutes after her heart had stopped, they were able to defibrillate her and start her pulse again.
She has severe pneumonia and is at UT Health Center in Tyler, TX. She is on enough propofol to keep her unconscious to avoid agitation and prevent her from ripping out her breathing tubes.
Mom, I love you. “ My son addressed FB on my behalf. This was his note. February 9, 2019
Oddly, I only remember the late of the evening, February 8th. My world was fuzzy. The deoxygenated brain cells left me with the condition of anoxia or anoxic brain disorder. However, now, I am doing so well. This is an absolute miracle. Yes. It is.
Now, back to the 8th of February, before my son moved away, one evening, I got up my courage an asked what happened. It was because all I could remember was the 8th, and peeing on the floor. I couldn’t believe what was happening to me. I saw my son walk by and he stays in the other end of the house. I told him to call 911 and that I was dying. Now I remember it was the coldest night of winter 2019 for East Texas. Ice was expected, and I thought, why would my body have to ch oose tonight out of all the nights in the year. We weren’t in town, and Texans don’t know how to drive on ice, so why did I choose tonight. Totally inconvenient.
My son said, we had some of that conversation, but it was in the morning. I don’t remember the morning of February 9th. The hospital records state I was taken to the ER at 10:37 AM. So, where did the night go? I asked myself. Just vagueness is upstairs now.
This whole time and episode has really troubled me because of my memories ended late February 8, 2019. My nursing friends have explained to me what happened to my brain 🧠 with deoxygenated (anoxia) cells, and my memories. And, this is exactly what “the others” told me while I was visiting on the other side.
If you want to know who and what “the others” are, then follow me to Chapter 2 or 3.
Here… I must tell you that in my experience, I didn’t have a tunnel, lights, family there nor friends, and there were no angels with wings.
I was in ICU, my lungs were intubated, a tube was down my nose in order to be fed, and a urinary bag was in place. I had zero memory of any of the tubes being placed within me and had I have known, I would have said, “no.” I am a RN and have inserted a few. I know the discomfort and of the intubation have. I had oxygen going, and IVs filled with a cardiac drug that I am allergic to, and antibiotics for pneumonia and something for status asthmaticus. The cardiac medication, I saw hanging, I tried to tell them, “I cant take that! I am allergic!” They heard me a few days later after I had swelled hugely. The medication did that to me on a regular dose.
I thought I was talking, but I wasn’t for a day or two. It’s so confusing. I heard my sister say, “It’s not your time. Mother told me. You need to come back.” My mother is deceased, but my sister connects all the time with her, and I believed her. She also said, “You, better come back. There’s no one who will take care of your animals.” I had 6 at the time. Still, I was far away. Her words were very faint. My children said the same to me. “Come home mom, it’s not your time.”
Meanwhile, in my afterlife heaven, I am arguing with someone’s. They were real to me, I knew who they were, but I never saw them until later. I am angry with my death circumstance. I was saying to them, “I am a good person. I deserve having a tunnel, lights, angels and family and friends meet me!”
The “others” didn’t say a word. They allowed me to carry on for quite a while. I heard myself and my arguments. Looking back, I think how. “Really, Bonnie?” Geez, no one deserves anything. I am so sorry for my poor behavior. I also can tell you the number one lesson that I learned is this.
We are only given…This Moment. That’s all we have so becoming happy, or controlling depression, it becomes easier if we only understand, the only time we are promised is right now. That’s it.
Once I understood the above physical law, I was able to proceed with my experience. It was at the next few moments they instructed me on “why you didn’t remember your experience.” They gave me a mathematical equation or algebraic expression that went like this:
Earth’s time + oxygenated atmosphere = memories of life and existence here.
Without oxygen, memories are gone, lost to Earth times, and the people who remain. Anything written, spoken, recorded, photographed, touched are links to The Earth, but not guaranteed for any kind of communications after lives cease. The connections in the future would have to have an oxygen link. As far as mediums, I am only telling you what I learned. I have been a medium for a few in the past; however, I am not sure how the connections were made unless (my reasoning) the objects touched, held or owned had oxygen involved. This idea also blows my mind.
I also, have assumed, that the after life has numerous places, levels (some are still oxygenated because they are close to Earth’s atmosphere), dimensions, houses as Jesus said, mansions as Jesus said, and many parallel or same dimension places as we are in mow.
For instance, a friends father died one night, before I knew he had died, he came in the middle of the night and shook my arm. He told me to get up and follow him. He went into our den. He saID, “I had to come say goodbye. I have a lot of places to go and many to visit, but I wanted to tell you goodbye.”
I said, “well, thank you.” As I said that he floated to the top of the ceiling and disappeared. That’s when I suspected he was gone, deceased. The next day, I was told that he died that night, the night he awakened me.
The point is this, he was still in the atmosphere of the Earth and was able to communicate with a sensitive person. Me. I was thankful for the visit. I know that he was among us still. To bring someone back, one would have to bring a soul back into the atmosphere of oxygenation. Memories that people have and can manifest the soul.
After my vigorous complaining to the ones who listen and don’t respond…
There was no response from them, but there was an instantaneous transformation to my heaven or my afterlife. There was no tunnel, no lights, no angels or loved ones. I was just suddenly standing in a very odd place. I knew that I was deceased.
A black round disk came into view from a distance and moved right in front of my feet. It was solid, black, round and extremely dynamic to me. I didn’t know what it meant accept a fellow NDEer told me that it sounded like a Dharma Wheel. I looked up a Dharma Wheel definition and images. Yep. That’s what I saw. It was my past, present and I would create my future. The future would be dependent on everything that I learned prior to this life and my life just lived.
I looked at the black wheel that had rolled up to me from the distance. It seemed to have come through dry sands at this place. When it came to rest and stopped it was huge, like a monolith structure. It was solid black and it had a sliver cut from it on the lower SE corner. I wondered if this represented my entire life and the sliver was where I was now, or was I at the end… I questioned my life plan. No one answered me, but me. I was alone. I looked at it over and over because I knew the sliver meant that I had not finished my life, or I had a little life left to live.
Suddenly, I was standing before or near a tall lean Asian man who wore a straw hat. I looked at him as he had a long pole in his hands. He was stirring something. In the distance I watched volcanoes erupting and saw the red lava leak down the mountain into the red river of blood and brains that the Asian man was stirring. I gasped.
“Am I in HELL!” Panicking, I asked The man.
He kind of gently chucked bad said, “No, you are at the cleansing pool.” He was not wordy or someone who had to be seen. He was wise and quiet.
“The Cleansing Pool?” Said I.
“Yes. I am stirring brains and blood from those with bad or negative thoughts.” He spoke kindly and directly to me. His eyes were very wise. He could have been my mother.
“Oh,” I responded. “Why are you stirring them?”
“Everyone must be clean before they can ascend. All negative thoughts and emotions must be washed before you can go on any further.” He kept stirring.
I asked if it would hurt.
He said, “Did you feel anything?”
I replied, “no, I felt nothing.”
With that response, I ascended to the next place,
Chapter 4 The Dirt
The Trip to the dirt was in less than a moment. Suddenly I was there with someone. I never saw their face and I don’t know who they were or their sex. They were teaching me rapidly.
I was barefooted on the dirt of The Earth. Also, I must say that in my death experience I looked like a picture of myself taken about 4 or 5 years ago. I was around 62 then.
Back to my NDE, the someone took a handful of dirt and put it in my hands. For the first time, I saw dirt in a new way. The quantum physics way. As the dirt sifted through my fingers, the mineral properties illuminated. As they fell back into the dirt, the particles began to sparkle their true colors. The golds were intensely golden and the grains, individual, seemed to be magnified as I looked and saw each tiny piece. The silvers were shiny, sparkly, and as they slipped through my fingers with every type of particle on the atomic calendar. The bacteria’s, viruses and the living bits of Earth were ever-present as I watched like never before. Beneath my feet, and our feet, there are other billions of worlds. The quantum universes were there, alive, illuminating their space and I knew the, what I had always wondered, are there layered universes and the answer is/was yes. Beneath us is an unending world such as The Fibonacci Code signifies. The worlds spin smaller and smaller and what is microscopic to you and I, is another world.
I was utterly awed and so thankful to see and learn what I had always wondered. The being showed me without and words and amazing existence.
Chapter 5. Earth’s Relics
When the dirt’s truthful formations completed, instantly I was at the relics of The Earth. I believe we started with Egypt. The Pyramids. I examined the hieroglyphs by running my fingers over the images. I sensed the meaning, that I don’t remember now, unfortunately. I touched the grandness of the large structures as I walked alone with the warm winds blowing ever so hauntingly insightfully. I knew that I had walked among the relics when they were formed. They were familiar like a home.
So was The Sumerian Tablets. I touched and read.
In Peru, I visited the wonderful place and I think I was flying like a bird over looking the Andries Mountains up to Mexico.
The Temple Of Kukulkan or Mayan Temple was our place, I believe though Mexico has 7 known pyramids, we visited one and I believe it was this one. There, once again, I touched, read and knew the feeling of belonging.
We ended in Samaria. There were the tablets. They asked me to read them aloud and I did so.
I was so pleased with the reacquaintance to all the history, structures and tablets. I was satisfied.
Then, they said, “you must move forward . With that, we were off.
Chapter 6. The Hard Chapter To Explain
Every chapter begins with suddenly.
Suddenly I am in a room that I now call an office. It was dark and there was an illuminated long sleek desk. Sitting casually and comfortably behind the desk were 5 (I think that was the number) extraterrestrials.
I was calm and unafraid. They were kind, reserved yet warmly inviting, and patiently pleasant.
I felt that I was being interrogated, but they weren’t mean, hateful, or Lucifarian. I knew they knew me from the past.
I asked the question, “are you our humans DNA?”
And without hesitation, “yes. We are.”
I wasn’t surprised and felt comfortable with the answer. I knew that I wasn’t being given any untruths and the answer sat Inside my being as truth. These were my relatives and I was home.
The personalities of these alien ETs is unlike humanity. We, humans, are mammals, and they are not. The mammals are warm and friendly to their tribe and offspring (usually) and they, ETs, are not. The are not warm and cuddly, nor are they impatient. They will honestly wait “forever,” if its needed. They don’t jump into help us, unless it serves them, nor do they pat someone on the back and say, “well done.” They are not mean, but their lack of help or “non-interferences” are seemingly, unkind when struggling for help. They do appreciate good humor, pleasantries, good manners, kindnesses, and gentlemanly behaviors from humans. I say gentlemanly because they regard us as one, male and females. We are the ones who made the difference and separated the species into good and better. This is also true with our religions. It was our desire to have such kingdoms in place and they let us do our mammal things. Kings, rulers, monarchies, dictators, murderers, rapists, zealots, faithful, righteous, thieves, snakes (that we gave a slanderous hateful assigned character to) and the rich and poor. The character types, humans named and made because we were part mammal and alien. The aliens or ETs don’t have such beliefs, but they didn’t stop us. No, they let us do what we wanted, even if, the acts were cruelties to one another. The ETs would let us fight out our own battles and worlds as we were the new species, and had to learn as we go without their interferences.
My interview was over and theirs with me… for this moment.
We ascended. We were in the galaxy way above Earth. We were in another office, in a ship, way out in space. There, in that room they handed paper to me printed on the numerous pages were binary codes. They told me to read them and I told them the I could not read binary codes. They looked at me and I knew they meant, we can stay here a lifetime or forever. Read the codes. So… I guess that I did or didn’t. After the forever or eternity waiting on my reading, they threw the paper on the floor of the ship to be burned. Okay, I thought.
Here, I must tell you the binary codes are used to time travel. If someone needed examining or help, which they don’t do often, they used binary codes to find the person, the time, the date, the whereabouts or the location coordinates. The binary codes gave all that information in a parallel world or worlds. They were active and on board. The binary codes used dark space and matter to work efficiently.
Next … the star charts. Yep. I read them! I was thrilled! And off we went to Pleiades and then The Orion’s Belt. We visited.
I said, “please, don’t take me any higher, I’m afraid of heights.” And, with that statement… we were off into the outer parameters of the universes.
Chapter 7 The Universes; The Baby Bundle
The meetings with the ETs ended and the back door to the spaceship opened (this was my imagination, I really didn’t see this scene in my NDE, but felt this happened). It was as if I was clear to wander the universes on my own.
Meanwhile, I kept asking where my family were, the deceased ones and my deceased friends. They kept reminded me … “there is no hurry. You have an eternity.” So, I accepted that and went forward. I also asked about my deceased pets. They didn’t show up either, but they (the ETs, I suppose, I didn’t see them say this, but I assumed that it was them) reminded me I had an entire eternity to see and meet all people and pets. “Don’t be in such a hurry. There is plenty of time.”
“Okay, Okay,” said I.
Off I went into the universe. I passed stars, nebulous,’ galaxies, oddities, planetary systems being built and designed, and I saw a great deal of happiness going on about me. The universes were vibrating lovely conversations and songs. It echoes throughout the space. There is a great deal of laughter, and extreme joy.
I got to the edge of the universes (plural) and watched while sitting on the side of a planet like the Moon is to Earth. I saw what I called The Elohim (Hebrew word meaning the plural of god) making a nebulous. To me this was The Grand God or Creator. This entity, alive and full of energy, creativity, light, joy, and constantly making and creating is moving about waving its wands creating creating creating worlds, galaxies, nebulous,’ and so forth. The Elohim does not tear apart, does not condemn, does not rip apart and doesn’t send anyone to Hell.
In fact, I never saw a place named Hell, hades, the under world or any place of punishments. If there is a place, it was not shown to me. If there is a place, it is between oneself and karma. Here, I will say that what I understand is this…there is not devil, satan, demons, or devils. The evils in this world are within each of us. This is why karma (or another appropriate name) is appropriate. Reaping and sewing says we go to god and ask for forgiveness and we are totally forgiven. Karma says, yes you can ask for forgiveness and should, but your punishments are put into place by the individual. The consequences are played back much like a swinging pendulum. You started the action, the action must be paid back. The pendulum swings, then it swings to the other side until the whole of all learning experiences are learned. When all lessons are learned, then we can say, we are like a god. We know and understand all things because we have lived them. We will not remain ignorant. We will be poor, rich; beautiful, ugly; white, black; etc, etc…we will know murder, and the life of a saint. We will be able to answer any question that is asked of god or gods.
Now… my journey, sitting on the side of the planet saw the Fibonacci designs growing, forming and making the babies bundle that holds the universes together. The plants spoke to me and I to them. I felt like Alice in Wonderland. The plants were very busy and told me that had to get back to work. The also showed me a picture, that I drew and it shows the universes in the upper left lung of a form. The inside of the body looked human. I am a RN so I recognized the insides and it looked human. I was told to never leave the upper lobe of the cavity holding the universes. Because if we went outside this area, then we would travel alone and no one ever returns. Hmm 🤔 thought I. Others had been here before?
When I was there, I say this carefully because someone once misunderstood my sayings, up high looking over the entirety of the incredible space, and all the structures of planets, stars, suns, moons, comas, lights etc, there was a male presence with me. It wasn’t the one in the picture that I drew. He was most kind, happy, joyful, friendly, kind, imaginative, delightful, and was there to answer any of my questions. He didn’t interrupt any of my pleasures of watching. He was so happy that I was happy. I felt like this might be Christ… but I am not sure.
I kind of asked about Yeshua and what I asked was who was he, and was he real. The answer came back to yes, he’s real, but misinterpreted. Furthermore, he was/is a man who was filled with love, who came to teach us only about love, and only spoke about love. The Christ sent was dramatically transformed into a human toy that was used to hate, manipulate, to steal and mislead others who are not in a position to defend self against such ploys of the controllers, manipulators and or the corrupt. This was not the intentions of The Christ.
At some point very quickly, I was ushered back to my life on earth. As my teaching about Jesus Christ ended, I heard his last commandment. “Faith, hope and love, and the greatest is love. Never forget this! It is the glue that will hold humanity together! It’s the only thing that last! LOVE! You must spread this above all this. This is the final and last commandment. LOVE!”
Like an echo coming backwards the word LOVE came with me as I traveled faster than the speed of light back into my body. I had a hard time talking, knowing what had happened…
I want to thank my friend who is an Art Therapist for encouraging me to draw what I saw and it took a great deal of therapy to get me to draw. Thank you, Shelley Cannon-Fredrick. If you hadn’t of stayed diligently encouraging me, I never would have drawn the pictures of my journey. So, thank you. All NDEers need an Art Therapist.
Our minds, thoughts, words, feelings, emotions, vibrations etc… will produce our world of conscious existence. In essence, we do create or manifest our universe of time and space on planet Earth. But, apart from manifesting to create wealth or health or comforts, let’s for right now stay with the basics of creation. On February 9, 2019, I was in my afterlife existence. Having been gone for 30 plus minutes (and mind you, there is no time in the afterlife) was immediately taken to a wonderful cloud of existence and there I sat watching what I called “The Elohim” (a Hebrew word that is god in the plural form) making a gloriously beautiful nebulous. I learned there on that cloud, that our “god” was plural, was a creator and not a destroyer, and joyfully made all existence, including me. Those harmonious spectrums of lights created even the things and mammals that humans call and label deformed, malfunctioning, not right, gay, black, white, yellows and reds, and made all of it in such utter joy and never looked back and said, “OOPS, I made a mistake.” Nope. That never happened. Our creators are so pleased with all of their creations, that one cannot imagine any conflicts or reorganizations at all. If there are punishments, and that I didn’t see or hear, then they are carried out by other gods. The Elohim only creates and nothing more.
So, how does this relate to our understanding and enlightenments? If we free the mind from all binding doctrines that tell us to do this or that in such away, then, we can know that we are created in love, with a magnificent creator. To add, any legalistic doctrines, merely bind us and entrap our souls. That is not The Elohim. This I can promise you. You are free to love yourself. Love you. When you love you, then you free the pathway to love others. No longer will others be labeled by negative thoughts or terminology. We set them free when we are free. When the conscious is unchained and unleashed, it can and will set others free. Our minds are powerful because the state of our consciousness is free or ~it’s trapped. The trapped state is also powerful, and we see this occurring daily. It is better to free others than to enslave them.
WE CONTROL OUR CONSCIOUS journeys. Or, I should say, we can control if we put our minds to the task.
These are additional notes as I continue to awaken. I am chatting with another NDEer and we are contemplating our beliefs regarding the Covid Crisis.
“Okay my understanding of Karma and the Akashic records is this.
Number one “karma” the word introduced by The Vedic religious group from the Hindis
It is the word that I use and this is because The Vedics are the most accurate source for understanding life, living, and death.
But the word Karma is not right or correct. I don’t know the right word so I go with Karma.
Getting past that, karma is not a god handing out punishments. It is not any spiritual being charging anyone to a sin or good thing.
It is our internal scoring system that records our lives. The entire period here. For every + another + can occur and for every – then another – of the same strength will occur.
As we get to the end of our lives the pendulum that is moving with our karma and it attached to The Akashic records, goes across the board one time, that represents one life. When it goes back again, another life of some kind.
The Akashic records keeps track of all our lives and the records of the karmic debts and attributes.”
Asked about why death experiences are hard to explain, I began by saying this… “
💭 new thought, another conversation
For me, when I am explaining my experience, it is hard to find or put into any language on earth 🌍 the experience, as the experience is not linear. Their is no time. Everything is now or can be changed and into whatever you imagine. Time is not anything that compares in that other dimension. This is the first reason.
When I wrote my rough draft, I realized when writing it that it wasn’t exactly like what I was writing. That is because my rough draft needed a relevant pattern of events. What happened first, second, third… etc. in my death experience, this can’t be explained like this. This rimes pattern of first, second, third doesn’t exist.
I still don’t know what exactly happened first, second or third so I put my story into a pattern that makes since now in this world.
Secondly, the events of happening are not solids or materials like here. The materials are of other dimensions, maybe 5 or 6. You can hold a mathematical word equation and it’s powerful force, that of an eternal creators, comes alive. Everything is alive, is real, is on another dimension that is not anything like earths. If your not a mathematical genius, then you’re not going to be able to explain the patterns or dimensions. Everything is alive. Everything communicates..
This is the beginning of my explanation”
Hello, during my death experience, I was handed binary codes to read and interpret for the non-human, alien types.
A large book was handed to me and I was given it to read to them and tell them what it says. I don’t know anything about binary codes; however, I must have read them.
But, the most important thing to remember about the encounter was the fact the codes were handed to me in a large book. I placed it on a counter in front of me and opened it looking at 000100111 for thousands of pages. It meant nothing to me so I kept telling them.
Today I knew why the codes were handed to me in a book. First of all, last year it was explained to me there, the codes are used to tell them, where a being is in the universe and the times they are in. For instances, I was born in 1952 @ 0600 AM in New Orleans La, USA CST on a certain day. Well all of that is coded in binary type codes and the codes tell them how and where to get to us, if so needed. This I figured out then, but today, I came to the knowledge that because the codes were on paper and in a book form, it represented universal traveling, and we all know, if we bend the universe, travel times change dramatically. I didn’t pick this up then, but I know now, they were waiting to see if I caught it and if I was fast thinking. I guess not.
So, saying the above, it makes further sense to know that when we bend times whether on Earth of Saturn or anywhere, we must take all existence back to one single spot where it begins, exists and ends. One spot. The quantum experience takes on a little of the universal truths and we have so much more to explore.
I always say, that we are ants 🐜 in the universe shared with other universes and yet part of the big spot of the beginning, the now and the end. Then what…
Quantum times is/are the entire encompassing of the universes (plural) with equations of symbols and numbers that include every moment in the past, it the now and in the future/futures of every material being, human, animal and plants, sands and dirts, waters etc… of all from a stretching field latitudes, longitudes, forward, back, under and above including mid-through of all times ahead and back into one simple moment, the quantum moment.
Hi Axel. My experience was cosmic, but there were no spiritual messages or religious “mysteries” attached to my death experience.
But, parts of your presentation rings true as we do live over and over and we are part of the entire universes (plural).
The higher and higher ascension that you speak of is not entirely correct as we humans have glorified these ideas for other men so they will seek this path. However, we are on this road whether we glorify it spiritually or not. We are on an adventure and we linger here-there and go down-up, sideways and back and forth yet time doesn’t exist as we know it.
We are part of an enigma and part of the energy equations that are available for this universe perhaps not the others.
When the god-like form moves, from which we are apart, what happens to us? It unknown. How about when it dies? Then, I suppose we die too.
My understanding post death experience February 2019.
I have my own theories after experiencing over 30 minutes in the death state.
I drew some pictures of my thoughts to try to explain.
Number one, I learned during my NDE, if there is no oxygen present (around cells) there are no memories. Because
- Earth+O2 =memories (they taught me when I was there)
- Once the soul has passed through the pineal gland (in a regular death not in a decapitation, but regular) and has passed through the DMT in the bodies lining, the soul escapes and our memories cease as we know them now while in a body.
- There is a place like “the void” that houses our souls. When we awaken (with oxygen) we begin to awaken and think again. We want what we remember as we are attached to the body whose DMT we are connected to because of oxygen.
- We have been here having numerous bodies. We are part of the bodies whose DMT remains, otherwise, we would seek housing elsewhere.
- The soul wants a home whether human or other. The Petri dish is not as comforting as a warm body.
- Each DMT whether animal, produce, human or any other has its own characteristics and our spiritual energies try to find the right fit.
- The spirit is part of a large vacuum system that blows out instead of in as it blows up a living force with energies and life.
A message from a year ago.
Caroline Rosie Dent
Well your question is similar to the one that I keep asking and I am given a little information at a time.
So here goes…
there are different levels and types of dying right?
Some deaths are rapid and are perhaps like loosing a head, or heart and is unsurvivable because of the body part separation. This we know is immediate death. This is a level of death non of us have survived. So non of us know.
Then there are traumatic experiences such as moving vehicle accidents, or abrupt experiences where the body and soul are in limbo. The soul and spirit hang around the body after the accident for whatever reason it does. Some of those spirits leave immediately for whatever reasons it decides. These beings that return are actually in limbo between life and death. It is because there is enough bodily fluids (containing oxygen and other electrolytes) that are still active (ions and energies don’t die but await for movements to another dimension or place) around and inside the body that gives a possibility of living or having life once again.
Because the oxygen and electrolytes don’t die but move or find another place or dimension to go into (such as an orb or another home or being to become apart of) there are restless moments (adrenaline flowing rapidly at death) that the human energies must attach or become connected to something else in the earths atmosphere. Remember that electrolytes are not the soul or spirit. They are the energies or electric forces of energies the body contained while on earth.
Within these energies, oxygen is among its properties and is a source for the energies to lay comfortably and positively ignite (wrong word) or become active.
When this energy is around a deceased person (or a body in a higher level of totally decapitated living) there are enough pods of energies containing oxygen that keep the body remembering or experiencing a form of living (called death).
Example of degrees of death… So when I say that I died from asthma, respiratory failure and cardiac arrest, I had no oxygen. Asthma depletes, respiratory arrests further depletes and cardiac arrest further eliminates oxygen in the red blood cells then (for example) my experience would be without oxygen and the energies (the electrolytes) would not be as active causing less earthly memories. My level was extremely close to permanent death. The layers were dissolving and earths elements for living or having life were depleted more and more.
Once a person has lost the elements of energies and of oxygen the person is closer to permanent death. (This opens another mysterious idea or possibilities for the human beings to consider) and saying this means there are different levels or layers of death. We are in a parallel dimension.
Anyway I want to thank you for the question. I had to think about this very intently. I hope that I haven’t confused anyone any further. I am still getting responses about this as well.
Thank you. And to add…
Caroline Rosie Dent
Once the oxygen flowed my NDE memories began. They (whomever they are) turned on my memories. Oxygen flowed from a nasal cannula. Wham! The experience began and I was unable to turn it off for many days. I became tired from the excursions that my mind, thoughts, human experiences were then experiencing. I couldn’t turn it off. This went in for greater than eleven days. I counted eleven but I am unsure due to the anoxia (brain without oxygen) that I was/am still experiencing.
It is oddly peculiar the beings in heaven showed me a record like an old 45 record player disc. It was black and circular. It had a sliver (pie shaped) cut taken out of the end of it. The pie shaped cut was my actual death experience. In that area there were no earthly memories. Nothing that earth recognizes as familiar or understandable. Nothing was read or comprehended or translated to our earthly language. What I experienced was in the dark matter (the unknowns) on earth
I wrote this in 2018, before my death experience and it was a reflection of my spiritual beliefs.
Sunday October 7, 2018
When we die. We are a born
I came to this conclusion today two days before my 66th Birthday. And my conclusions capitalized on no religious beliefs. It is what it is, my own beliefs and you aren’t being forced to believe this nor being brainwashed.
It is the thoughts of death and life, lessons learned and not, envies of the gifted and the inabilities to achieve the fondest wishes and dreams, the birthing in a path of Saturn and mars, and having either Sagittarius or Capricorn on the horizon and so forth of the bending dynamics of the celestial universe and the vibrational platitudes it lends to all living and unliving things. After all, rocks have different reverberations that are recorded in scientific research somewhere.
Death is life is death is life and so forth. It is continuous. The pleasant births or non of new borns, show the rascals have more incredible knowledge than you could have ever taught. No matter the ups or downs, no matter how poor or wealthy, no matter how sane or not, each being comes again and again. Each time becoming the quandaries, the questions, the dislikes, the desires, the hopes or the despairs of the previous experiences. Sometimes the soul becomes a celebrity or wealthy. We will all experience every path there is until living is complete. Those questions that linger from previous existences becomes the new driving manifestation of the new birth and new life.
No one ever said to Yeshua, if it’s appointed to man to die once, how many times must he live?
October 20, 2020. I awkened from sleep and was told to write this. Sorry for the mispelled words as I wrote in the dark and quickley so I wouldnt forget. I will edit soon.
Time does not exist off The Earth as the majority of us understand. Does time truly exist on Earth? The day and night, the seasons and the circadium rhythms gave us something to measure and so we used it and created our standard tenty-four (24) hour day. However, I want to define off Earth time or no time.
What if time could be described as a dot, one dot such as a pencil dot with some large dots and some smaller and the size doesn’t matter. However, within each dot is a lifetime and/or one (1) second of Earth time, but all of it within the dot equals one event, happening, smile, tear, season, centenial or whatever you remember and all is within that moment.
What if I told you the reasons why human (invention of jets) have a comtrail due to our time and our perseptions, perpulsions in velocity; however, the UFO (keeping typing minimal using abreviations UFO it is simply unidentified, but obviously, not of this Earth) has no comtrail and makes no sound. Why does this happen? The reason has to do with time. Their time versus human time. Time changes everything and how we see it.
In the afterlife, there is no time, so what does that mean to music or hearing one sound? Because music and noise is laid out on a timeline and music uses time. It places 4/4 or 2/4 times and many more examples, but its time. It rhythm, beat and its all time and time off Earth, does not exist. So, in the afterlife a timeline of music or anything else doesn’t exist. Then why are people reporting they hear “heavenly music?” Well, number one, it could be our imaginations, or two, it could be that time is pressed into trillions of dots as I was explaining in the first paragraph. All the dots appear as if nothing is going on and time isn’t happening … unless… you move closer into the atmosphere and energies of the dots. Each dot has its own vibrational rhythms, magnetics and movements in gravity.
Time is stored in nbullions and trillions of dots and where you are in the afterlife is where you placed you. Imagination, wishes, and desires come true when connections to the dots of entire lives of times on Earth. Your energies, within you, automatically connect your being using specified vibrations and magnetics to your source of being or enlightenments. You are plugged into your comfort zone. This is another topic, so I will hold back for now.
So, what about other planets? The same theory would hold true there on that surface and atmospheres, as well, except they have their own clock of sun rising and setting, moons arising (setting many times on one planet), seasons (theirs, not measured by Summer, Winter, Fall nor Spring and by circadian rhythms of sleep measurements). On another planet do you sleep 8 hours like on Earth, or there about, or 100 years, as in their day? I don’t know. I guess it would be determined if we are humans, or not, and our requirements regulated by the planets magnetics and vibrations.
Now what about the UFO that left no contrails, nor made any sound, and travelled making 90 degree turns at unimaginable speeds *time, moments perceived by humans, and witnessed or presumed seeing. All of it recorded in Earths time, but in reality, it’s the UFO’s staff beings or aliens, reality and those on it have their own conceptions of time and force, and magnetics. For they are not bound to Earth time as they remain in their own. So, they are overlapping dots, The can control their craft because they remain in their own times and maneuvering and touch our existence quickly. Kind of like time traveling, In and out, very rapidly to not change the history nor their futures. zip in and out using the dots to overlap the universe making distance shorter and time irrelevant.
This is all for now
Hi xxxxx, I might have answered your question before, but here goes my own answer through my own experience.
I am no longer a ” believer” in any traditional faith. I have my own and I don’t proselytize it. It’s only important to me.
Your experience or thoughts about ” heaven” or what I refer to as the afterlife, are not judged by anyone but you. You aren’t going to ” hell” because you don’t believe any dogmas crammed down your throat over the years.
It’s my discovery from having my TDE or temporary death experience of 30+ minutes (with a brain injury now) that we are like little ants 🐜 on a mound and the brightest one sees 2 feet away.
No worries. No judgements allowed, please. You are on your adventure like all the rest of us.
The feathered white pheasant’s tail was broken yet she flew anyway
And on the horizon swooping low was the mouth of the dragon
Yelling and pointing, “Go South!” Pleasant friend rigorously showing the way
Yet smoother than vanilla ice cream drifted the angel fairies just enjoying the day
All is well by the looks of the spectacular blue skies! What humans think 🤔
And the people in the clouds roll their eyes in utter quandary at thoughts of beings
A sigh is heard from the leader. Pausing breathes and pulses from the cloud kingdom
Just waiting for the Moon 🌚 and not being seen to loudly or heard silently, but dreaming realities of Tolkien an TS Eliot
Can’t wait to show Jacob about this world above our heads and inside our hearts that leaves one day when we become mankind.
Today I am posting a fascinating acquaintance that I met on FB, Katie Louise. Her story and her observance over the years about those who have had out of body experiences after dying is intriguing. It was because of my recent death in February 2019 that I found Katie on a FB group called ‘Near Death Experiences’. Katie will explain her involvements, her observations of others having these experiences throughout the years, and how she has wrapped it up together to form her own opinions about deaths or near deaths known as NDEs. Keep in mind the terminology of NDE is in the changing stages as it’s not quite correct.
Thank you for agreeing to write for my blog Katie and welcome!
Katie Louise begins:
One evening, alone late at night and contemplating the spiritual consequences of ending my life, I searched the internet for what happens when we die. In particular, if a person died from suicide.
It was a difficult time. A relationship that I hoped would last instead had fallen apart. Interweaved with everything else, I had struggled since childhood with a health condition I was born with. Over time, I felt more and more isolated on all levels. There seemed to be no way out. Externally, I was managing the superficial aspects of my life. Internally, I felt anxious, like I was missing something. Underlying it all, I felt fundamentally off track.
On my own, I had studied various philosophies, religions, psychology, and creative arts. I looked at astrology, and saw the uncanny way that patterns in my life and personality correlated to planets, stars, and mythical archetypes. Although I found inspiration and intriguing ideas in many directions, I found limitations too, and further questions.
Since then, I’ve seen the connection between the questions we have when we struggle, and the answers that eventually come.
It was then that I first read about NDEs, starting with Howard Storm and George Ritchie. A simple Google search on NDERF and YouTube showed hundreds of experience accounts. This was not something that happened to a rare few. The voices of the experiencers, and their words, were genuine and profound. I read them night after night.
A switch clicked in my mind. I felt like I was peeking into a vast field of knowledge about the seen and unseen. Reading about NDEs seemed to reconnect me to what I intuitively knew, but had lost through years of immersion in this world. I asked myself, why aren’t more people aware of these experiences? While various belief systems tend to box things in and solidify them, these experiences expand. The exact details of the experiences didn’t matter as much as the spiritual qualities that seemed to underlay everything. Some experiencers were introduced to a vast field of knowledge. There is a pure flow of information in many NDEs – beautiful, direct, complete, and filled with joy, wisdom, creativity, expansion, and Love beyond our comprehension. In spite of the limitation of words, you often can feel the emotion and the intelligence behind what is said.
I discovered that these experiences are equally about “what’s out there” as “what’s in here,” in me, and in all of us. It’s poignant that nothing and no one is excluded; on a spiritual level, each and every one of us is completely known, and Loved. There was a shift in my emotional state upon learning this information. My thought patterns started to change. I started re-evaluating pretty much everything about myself, including very basic assumptions about who and what I was and what life was all about. I revisited the inner knowings I had from a very early age but had since dismissed, including this sense of being comically misaligned with my surroundings.
In my heart and mind, I started to have mini “life reviews” that left me reeling. I realized some mistakes I made, not only on an intellectual level, but on the soul level. It was painful. A lot of the “stuff” I was holding onto (physical, mental, whatever) didn’t mean what it used to mean or became completely irrelevant, a relic of the “old me”. I forgave grievances from the past and worked on forgiving myself as well. It was both awe-inspiring and humbling to realize the vastness and interconnectedness behind these physical appearances. Each and every one of us is a tiny piece of the whole yet our existence here has a tremendous importance of its own. No matter what our physical appearances, our soul is engaged in something beautiful.
I developed much more acceptance of life “as it was” after studying NDEs. I grew more mindful in my personal interactions with family and friends and felt more empathy and understanding for what they were going through. The feeling of “missing something” faded. I felt connected again. Inwardly, I was much more at peace.
This isn’t to say I made a 180 degree turn around and things were suddenly great. While there were great leaps forward in my understanding, there were more losses and challenges ahead. I didn’t even think much about NDEs for several years until a new phase of my life brought me back to them.
My beliefs were fairly open prior to exploring NDEs but NDEs inspired me to push further into spiritual work. I had experiences during meditation and an unexpected out of body experience. This OBE validated that we exist on in a thought based reality on an especially dense plane. There are many layers and infinite overlays beyond what we typically see. The so-called “other side” is just beyond our sight. It’s really all just a blink away. Our thoughts and focus are more important than we realize. This is not just at the individual level, but the collective level.
I’ve learned from NDEs that we never stop growing and our journeys are infinite. Our souls are never static. NDEs are frequently in surprising contrast to an individual’s prior assumptions or beliefs.
The human mind wants explanations, something firm to hold onto, a framework to feel secure. NDEs show us that we don’t even have the vocabulary to communicate the ineffable complexity of what is. But the core of it, pervading it and at its essence, is simply: Love.
We are explorers. Any answers we seem to have are just answers for the moment. Likewise, the person you were yesterday is no longer the person you are today. There is potential for anything, really. Each new flow of energy, whether from an event or astrological alignment or from your conscious or unconscious choice, may find you in a totally different space.
–Katie Connolly. No website, but I can be reached by email at katiecpa11 at gmail dot com.
Thank you Katie for sharing your own story of how you became interested in NDEs and what you learned from reading their stories. It seems like you read for quite a while of others accounts and found them to be many and encouraging. You opened yourself up to the world and became vulnerable and this is bravery and freedom that works hand in hand. Perhaps someone will read this and identify with you. Maybe they will be able to move away from the ideas of self harm and or suicide. What you wrote is a gift to others and I hope that your words will find the way into the hands of the person or persons feeling like they want to end their lives.
You can find Katie on FB at Near Death Experiences and other FB pages related to Near Deaths, as well. Katie has dedicated her life to discovery of near deaths and to the study of it. I think she will write a fascinating book one day. Do you agree?
Okay,. well thank you all for reading this blog of mine today and I hope that you will seek Katie out on FB if you need to. Always remember … if suicidal, please go immediately to the emergency room. Thanks so much! Have a spiritually full and awakened day.
Weaving awkward words unbelievably infiltrated by a source
Who has bent reasonable human consciousness and time
Organizing underneath hidden conversations of the elite
Dictating to mankind frightening beliefs of death and scheol
Creating fear and hatred, and intolerance by falsifying lies
Freedoms eliminated; intelligence dissipated; imaginations empty
Colliding human beings, bending core character, remains nothingness
Grievances uninhabitable; the loneliness of the angelic godhead sits
Found are words that bend ears into manifestation matrix ideologies
Their pat verbiage we’ve acutely hypnotized and weaved like experts
Awaken to your own thoughts that were given to you so graciously
To hold them as yours and shan’t ever change a thing eternally
Your being is your gift; do not give it away; as you’re not a whore
Now stay where you’re at. Don’t move and eat only the finest fruit
Stay far from repeating their verbiage that binds you eternally
Speak you, and only you, and do it in love, for the Matrix will vaporize
Do not judge the fallen, but turn from that universe, and offer your hands
It’s not a place for survival. No.
The terrain is rugged and the waves are ferocious.
Learning to swim is mandatory for survival.
However the atmosphere is compelling me to open my wings and fly from the verbiage and voices of earth.
I must accomplish this
One task at a time
BoJenn @December 13, 2018
Perspectives about how life works and occurs for humans and animals and living cells are different for all humans. Every person has a different concept of their belief system unless that dogma as been hammered into a soul over time, and presently governs that person. For example phrases in conversation like “Praise the Lord!” Or “Bless you,” and “I’ll pray for you,” are judged by the circle of the congregation of “Believers.” Also, the New Age Yoga word, “Namaste,” follows another type of believer who feels their need to express their beliefs and so that word, too, becomes a word meant for dogmatic control and protection from an offensive adversity.
The point I am making is this: We become so easily swayed/manipulated because we desire and want rulership and/or governorship by a “King,” or a dogmatic belief that says we are accepted, loved and fit into the large scope of the kingdom of people.
Is it possible to think outside these rules that govern the above and ask questions? Is it possible that we are driven to the place of DOGMA for a reason?
Is it possible, now ask yourself “possible” that we are controlled by ideas, rules, thoughts, sayings, words, phrases, magnetic energies of one, that govern us in such away. It is from somewhere else our designated and herded lives and circumstances assigns to our lives rewards with wealth or poverty. We accept this as truth and do not cross over the lines drawn in the invisible sands in less we are atheist and believe that only we ourselves control the universe or our surroundings.
We are afraid to ask this force or question the intentions of familiarity to a religion or political group or any ideology because of the fear of going to hell or dying a horrific death or being cast out of a society.
I write this above because my story of events are based on the above dogmatic beliefs, fears and control. I want you to know that I serve a loving God who is supportive of me personally and is happy when I go beyond the lines drawn in invisible vague old rotten shells and sands.
My next story will be about my childhood experiences with my father, a mechanical engineer, who designed missiles, rockets, ammunition, and had encounters of the third and fourth kind in the late 1950’s, 60, and 70’s. From his experiences came mine. Perhaps this is the reason I am able to photograph odd flying images. Or UFOs 🛸
Dust cover being read by Tulika Dugar and Alan Johnson
‘With a radiant warm smile the woman said, “Finally we get to meet. I am Eleanor, Ms. Catherine Dubois. Oh for five-hundred-years, I’ve waited for this moment.”‘
How Eleanor came to visit me one stormy night is a story that succeeded another story of mystery and intrigue. The story thus became Cat Dubois’ Odyssey to Enchantment.
It was early fall and the first chill came that evening as the sheets of rain fell. Cat starred out the back windows simply mesmerized by the shears of wind and rain. She was cold, lonely and worried. The dreaded fears of the future somehow aligned itself with the deluge of water and her life appeared like the rain that ran off into the creek. Her tears could fill that stream that sat next to the eery woods behind her home. She prayed all the prayers that anyone could. Her Hope dimmed like the candles that burned next to her. And then, the electricity turned off. A transformer must have been hit. She threw a log into the fireplace and poured another glass of Cabernet.
Ka-Boom! The bolts were over her home. Flashes of lights were all around. The electric sky put on a show. A limb snapped in the woods. Wrapping a blanket around herself, she watched outside. She took another sip of the red warming wine. As she started to turn away, something caught her attention. Something unusual was going on back there.
“What’s that?” Cat whispered. There were swirling leaves and lights in the middle of her focus. “What the hell?” She intently stared now. The stirring of wind, leaves and sparks twenty feet from where she stood, caused her to stand back. She came forward and looked again.
“There is a woman,” Cat gasped.
Eleanor’s feet touched the ground in the middle of the puddles. Kaboom’s popped. Her hand grasped an umbrella. The woman didn’t seem a bit concerned about the conditions. She simply walked above the water towards the back porch.
There she shook the umbrella out, then sat it by the back door as it opened mysteriously, and said, “Put some tea on dear. We have work to do.”
Cat’s mouth dropped open, she said, Okay. She couldn’t decide if this event was good or evil; although, the woman was eccentric and that character trait, Cat felt compelled to entertain. She was a bit wary of an English woman. Strangely, She didn’t ring the front doorbell, nor knock like regular people do. She just appeared. Oh Lord, I’ve lost my mind.
The plump woman said to Cat in an old English brogue while standing at the backdoor, “Dear, if you’re going to fight devils, you will need help. Supernatural help. Never fight them alone.” She straightened out her clothes, walked inside and looked for the couch. On it, she plopped. “Get your pen and pad of paper. You’re going to write a story and I’m going to help you.”
Cat having few words ~ said, “All right. I will get them and the tea. What type of tea do you prefer?”
“My own,” and from her tote The woman brought out her stash of herbal delights. “Here smell this one. Get a cup for yourself, as well dear.”
Okay. After all, how do you say no to a delusion that manifested? And so, Cat sat two teacups down on the coffee table. She looked at the woman and paused before speaking, then said, “By the way, my name is Cat. Cat Dubois. What’s yours?”
With a radiant warm smile the woman said, “Finally we get to meet. I am Eleanor, Ms. Catherine Dubois. Oh for five-hundred-years, I’ve waited for this moment.”
Similar to a galaxy spinning in time
Measures and degrees relations to physics
Worlds and molecules and atoms be
Thicker, heavier, denser or sparse
Spinning in their community on a coarse
United by their gravity and specific force
Ignoring mankind as it flows in unison
Though truly mankind rarely notices
Tiny quarks and black space not hidden
Just so small, but significantly living
Wildly busy and holding prayers
The littlest places, but no one cares
But in the tunnels black between quarks
The energy moves vibrating this heaven
The space between iron and chemical seven
Make a place that causen weights to levin
Billions and trillions of atoms maybe
Your eyes, so that you can see
A world of beauty beyond this place
A world of atoms of molecules and me
©2016 Bonnie Jennings All Rights Reserved
Doodles by me
The opening scene takes place in a grocery store parking lot in August where there are numerous vehicles parked and many people shopping. It wasn’t a chance meeting though it was meant to be brief and appear accidental. The setting is in a small city in The Bible Belt. It was an extroidinarily hot afternoon and there were no clouds in the sky. Three people greeted each other. Two knew each other previously, the young doctor and the informant, and the third person, his wife, was being introduced, even though, she was not invited, the doctor brought her. The doctor’s young children were with other family members as it had been planned, but not his wife.
The story dialogue begins with the young wife asking the female informant,
“Who are you and who are they? You have told my husband so much bullshit?”
The informant, double agent for whomever replied, “I don’t know, but can tell you sincerely, they are not lovely, nor are they kind.” She looked down in somber explanation and then looked up into the eyes of a questioning young wife.
The double agent stared at her. She said, “I didn’t seek your husband out; they did.” She further added, “Guard your children. Never let them out of your site.” She looked away into a distant stare. She remembered her own children’s disappearances twenty-two years ago, even though, they returned changed somewhat. She would never forget the horrors and memories that would never go away. Her children told of her about men who did terrible things. Such horrific details she could not bare to listen to them. Each child taken at different times and by different people. She reflected for a moment about her own childhood and those men cloaked in black hoods and were taller than anyone she had ever seen. Their faces had been hidden from her, but she didn’t want to see. She hid under the covers on many cold nights.
The doctor’s wife said frantically, “Who the hell are you? What do you want?”
The female agent hesitated before she responded as she thought. It wasn’t that she was withholding information from the insisting young wife. No, but she was truly unsure of who she was or is to “them,” or anyone. “I am not sure of who I am, or why, or how I came into their services not by choice.”
“That makes no sense! What do you mean, you don’t know? Surely you know something? You’re lying.” The young wife was trembling as she was angry, frightened, and determined to understand the craziness of what she had just heard. “And, what do you mean when you say, guard my children? Are you threatening our family?”
The atmosphere was somber. The electricity of the moments before fell when the informant raised her hands and gently moved them slowly up and down from over head to lower than her hips settling and calming the air. The young wife at first thought the informant was aggressively posturing, but a few seconds later realized the movement was certainly not generated to cause any physical harm.
The female informant said, “I’m not here to harm you. I don’t have any hardcore answers. I’ve searched for those answers all my life. I can only tell you the little that I know. But, we must find a safe place. A place underground and protected. We’re being tracked. They must not see that we connected. And, I hope it’s not too late.”
The young doctor of medicine spoke up. He had been silent because he was as confused as his wife. “Where do you suggest that we meet?”
The informant said, “Go to your office Monday and work just like any other day.” Then, to the young wife she advised the same. “I will arrange the place and the connection.” She told the doctor, “I will call for an appointment and will tell you then the particulars, but know your office is not safe. They will track and listen to us. You can not write a note to me there in my presence or speak of this. Understand? You will not call me and I won’t call you unless it’s for an appointment.”
He nodded yes.
The informant said, “We must break this meeting up, now.”
“He said, “Will this be soon?”
“Not sure. It could be awhile. We have to leave some gaps in time. They’re tracking us even now,” she responded quietly.
The young doctor’s wife said, “This is crazy.”
The informant nodded in agreement. “I’m going now.” She gets in her old white 2005 Honda Accord and starts the engine. She opens the car window on her way out and says loudly to the young doctor’s wife, as to be heard, “It was so nice to meet you.” She drove out of the parking lot.
The female informant takes the little amount of cash from her piggy bank, she takes the money and speeds of to The closes discount store. At the back of the store she purchases three cell phones. One for the doctors wife, one for the doctor and one for herself and places them in bubble wrap in a large envelope. She puts only the doctors name on it and tightly licks the glue on the envelope and presses it tightly. She also included the instruction for the cell use to each other only. Use it as little a possible. All regular medical calls were to be by appointment and by going through the secretary, just like normal. She left the store and drove to pick up her grandson who is getting out of summer day camp. The boy is ten.
“Grandma, where are we going?” This wasn’t their usual way to go home and he had friends to play with so he was in a hurry. “Why are we going this way?”
“No worries. We have to drop off papers at the doctors office.” She pulled up in front of the front door drive. She handed the boy the envelope and said, “Tell the receptionist this is for him and open as soon as he can” So, the boy did just what he was told.
“Now can we go?” He was whiny and put out that he was delayed as he got into the car.
“What did the receptions say? Did you her that the doctor was waiting for her records and they were important?” The female informant asked her grandchild.
“They were nice and said, “Who sent it? And, I told them, you did and you said it was important.” The kid was sighing as he had things to do. “Can we go now?”
She, the female informant smiled at the boy and drove away wondering how soon the phones would be delivered and will he open the package then, and would the secretary loudly announce who brought them? She ruminated about this. Should she call him to be certain he got the?
The receptionist hand delivered the packages to the doctor when he was sitting in his office. He said, “What’s this?”
The receptionist said, “Oh Mrs. Smith, you know the kind of crazy one, said you were expecting these.” She smiled as she stood in the door waiting and watching him open the notes as she was told by the boy. “I sure hope her grandchild won’t be that looney.”
The doctor stopped opening the package and said, “That’s okay. I’ll open the latter. We have work to do.” He arose and put the envelope on his chair and scooted it under the desk. He shut the door behind him as it automatically locked. He then took the envelope and carefully opened it and looked at the two phones. Man, she’s serious about this craziness. He put them in his briefcase and the note in his shirt pocket.
Later he made his first call to the informant. He was alone in his car and he soon pulled over on the side of a dark road hidden under trees where it was safe. He called the informant.
“I thought you said this would happen later? What’s going on?” The doctor’s voice was hostile, angry, but on the other hand ~ He called her.
“Glad you called so quickly. We have work to do.” The informant was short and to the point. She walked outside away from her home just in case her voice was transmittable from inside her home. She took a leisure walk as far as she could and stopped.
“What do I have to do with your delusions?” Firmly, he insisted an answer. “Leave my family out of your charades, you understand me!”
“Trust me, your family is in danger, doctor.” The informant bounced back at him. “Your wife shouldn’t have come Sunday, so why did you bring her?”
The doctor was silent, then he said, “Because, in case you were hitting on me, then she would see and intercept this bizarre fabrication. I should have you arrested for stalking.”
“So, why don’t you?” She was silent.
“I’m not sure.” He paused, “Perhaps, I’m interested in your tales of cloak and daggers, your mysteries of God knows what.”
The informant listened, “Go on. Any more , hmm?
“You talk. Your turn. Explain your business.” The doctor fell quiet. “And, to add, the phones. A little over the top, for a twisted sorted game, I’d say.”
She didn’t hesitate. “Did you see the laboratory notes in the envelope?”
“No.” He responded.
“I put two reports from my distant past and one of a recent test. Both under the name of Mrs. Smith.”
“Okay. Tests of what kind?” He reached for the envelope on the car seat next to him and opened it.
“Lab tests with my DNA. You will notice that both tests have 1% Neanderthal and the old test has 2% unknown DNA and the latest has 3.5% unknown.” The informant waits for him to answer.
“Wait a minute let me look.” He ruffles with the pages. “You know DNA is not my expertise.”
“Just look.” She shot back quickly.
“Yes, I see, but still I don’t know what this means, I don’t do DNA.” He’s disconcerted with her for insisting him involuntarily into matters he is unlearned.
She sighed having her own frustrations with his lack of concern or understanding.
“What do these reports have to do with me? I ask you again. Stop with the vagueness.” He insisted.
She thought, “I want you to have labs drawn on me again, then on your self.”
“What? That’s absurd. Why should I carry on with your delusional mystery?” He continued to look at the lab reports and her DNA. He recognized the lab values were not matching and are increasing and thought, why? “Why do I have to test mine? Why am I relevant to your search?”
“I will be in this week and you will draw labs on me under the name of Mrs. Smith, right?” She restated her request.
“Yes, come into the office Wednesday noon. No one but the staff will be around. I’ll just tell them it’s for labs that had to be drawn at noon. But, mine… not sure.” He gave clear instructions to the informant and took control of her craziness.
“Okay, Wednesday at noon, I’ll be there, but if my labs are remarkable then you will draw yours?” She took control again.
“Okay. Deal. But, what does your DNA have to do with mine? We’re not related.” He hesitated, “Are we?”
“Well, yes, in away we are.” She said, “I’ll see you Wednesday.”
They hung up and she walked back to her house. It started to thunder. Rain was coming soon.
He was busy the early part of the week. The young doctor didn’t have time to think about the strange phone cal except the last words the crazy Mrs. Smith, the odd informant said, “Well, yes, in away we are.” And, this bothered him. These words got under his skin. What exactly did she mean?
“Hello Mrs. Smith.” The young doctor unlocked the door to the clinic. “Come on back.”
The informant Mrs. Smith was directed to the phlebotomy room. “Our phlebotomist is on her lunch break so if you’ll allow me to do it, then I’ll have it done in no time.” He was friendly and spoke loudly so the staff could hear him and think nothing about a noon lab draw. After all, the doors were shut at exactly noon. He had all the vials, the tourniquet, the needles and the centrifuge ready. “May I get you a coke or coffee?”
“A coke would be good. Thank you,” She responded.
“Before you drink the coke,” after he handed it to her, “Let me swab your mouth for DNA. We’ll do it every way we can to get comparisons. Okay?”
“Yes, that’s fine.” She seemed glum and was quiet, but decided chit chat would be best in case she was tracked into his office and was being listened to. “How has your week been?”
The doctor, nodded his head, “Here make a fist” as he had placed the tourniquet on her upper arm, “The week has been quite unusual. The office has been busy as all get out.”
She smiled. “Unusual?”
“Oh, nothing too crazy.” He chuckled under his breath.
“I see sarcasm, doctor.” She sighed. “I hope everything is back to your normal routine?”
“Absolutely. Things couldn’t be better.” He cut it short. He was beginning to sweat. He blew a vein. “Dam-it. I have to use the other arm.”
“Dam-it? Do you always talk this way around clients?” She acted upset. “Calm down. I don’t have all day. I have to go back to work soon.”
He shut up and put the tourniquet tightly on the left arm. “That should do it.” He was successful and unsnapped the cord. “There you go. Finished. The labs will be sent out after lunch.” He escorted her to the door and opened for her. “I’ll call you with the results, Mrs. Smith.”
“Make me copies. I will pick them up.” She turned quickly not to show any familiar behavior in case they were being watched. Off she went in the old white Honda.
The doctor walked into the office and sat down at the computer. He added a drug screen and a BAC to the labs. This way he would no if the woman was drunk, on drugs and her DNA which he was now curious of.
He wanted to ask Mrs. Smith for her real name, but thought about the fact that having too much information was irrelevant and would involve him even farther than he wanted. Nope, he answered his curiosity.
Two weeks passed by and he had not thought about the labs or Mrs. Smith. After all, he was a busy doctor with many patients and his wife surely would have him involved in more social activities than he wanted. So, the thoughts of those two dilemmas were simply dismissed.
Mrs. Smith, the female informant, laid low and never once called him on the cell phones or contacted his office. However, she ruminated about the findings and wondered why he had not contacted her about the results. She bit her nails and chewed them off, but she was silently waiting.
Another Wednesday two point five days later:
The fax machine was shooting out labs as it usually did at any doctors office. The lab tech took them off the machine and delivered the results to the prospective doctors. She put values into the young doctors box on the outside of his door where he would see them and read them. He did just that and noticed in the pile of fifteen or more pages the name Mrs. Smith. She had several of the fifteen pages. He closed the door behind him and sat to look them over. The first one was the drug screen. It was negative of any substance then he looked at the BAC. No alcohol present in her blood system. “Damn she’s clean a a whistle.” He flipped through to the DNA results. And sure enough the swab of the oral mucosa results were conclusive to the last results she had. 3.5% Unknown and 1% Neanderthal, he whispered to hime self. He didn’t know any DNA specialists, he didn’t know what this meant.
“Amy,” he yelled.
“Yes, doctor.” Amy poked into his office.
“Find a local DNA or Genetic engineer, doctor or someone I can send a DNA consult out to.” The doctor ordered right now and Amy got right on it…
She called around and found a Doctor not far away. She wrote his number and address down and took it into the young doctor.
He placed a call and was able to get through to the doctor when he identified himself as a doctor.
“Doctor DNA, this is the young doctor, and I wanted to ask about normal and abnormal DNA percentages. Could you tell me if 3.5% is unusual in oral mucosa for a normal human level?
Could you tell me where I can look such information up? A reference perhaps?” The young doctor asked collegiately.
The elder doctor replied after he cleared his throat, “You say 3.5% doctor?”
“Yes, that’s right, 3.5%.” The young doctor clarified.
“That can’t be right. test again. The lab is wrong. Can’t be.” And he was certain in the tone of his voice, the young doctor was mistaken.
“No, this is the second recent result. They are the same from two different labs.” There was a silence between the two men and the fund doctor said, “Well, I’ve taken up enough of your time. Thank you, anyway.”
“Yes, he added those two results are wrong. Your patient would not be human, sir. Well, good day, call again if you need me.” The elder doctor thought the question was odd and the response that two different tests from two different labs verified the same 3.5% values and this was more than interesting, indeed. He wished he had gotten the young doctors number, but he didn’t. He asked his secretary, but she had gone for the day, as usual.
The young doctor hung up and wished he hadn’t called the consulted doctor. But, he waited for the staff to leave saying good bye then he attempted to draw his own labs as he promised. Finally after stabbing himself three times was able to get them, four vials, in an upside down manner on the arm. He put them in the refrigerator and with a label the lab staff told him, after an inquiring call, for a miscellaneous practice draw. No charges, no questions, just a practice. He made two copies for the informant as he promised. He put them in the brief case, and sped off to the tree area on the side of the road where he could call her. Meanwhile, his wife called and asked why he was late?
“You forgot we had a diner party tonight? You’re late.” She demanded that he answer and she demonstrated her anger of missing such an event.
“Sorry, working late and I’ll be thirty more minutes. Go on without me.” He was sweet to her placating her for now.
He pulled the car over under the trees off the side of the road. There was no one around. He made his call on the cell phone the female informant, Mrs. Smith provided.
The phone rang several times. He did not leave a message. The messages had not been set up. Mrs. Smith thought that would be best, no messages to be traced. He began to drive home and when he arrived the house was empty. His children were staying with his inlays for the night. He didn’t feel like attending a dinner party so instead he poured a Jack on the rocks. He sat in a comfortable slouchy chair in the dark and thought of what the labs meant to him. What did Mrs. Smith mean when she said they are related?
His private cell from Mrs. Smith rang. It was her. He answered quietly. “Hello.”
“I’ve been waiting for you to call, well? Any results?” She jumped into the labs without any surface conversation.
“Yes, I have them. And, your two copies.” He shot back at her.
“Well, what do they say? Did you make me copies?” She was eager to hear the results that she was certain concrete as she thought.
“They are conclusive to your other labs. 3.5% unknown in oral mucosa.” He paused.
“I want the copies. Where can I meet you?” She hurried not wanting to miss the results or to allow time to prevent her from getting them.
“Not tonight. I’m too tired. Come to the secretaries in the morning. They will be there.” He again took control as that was his nature.
“No, not at your office. Bump into me tomorrow at the store just like in August at Mid-day. We can greet and pass the envelope like everything is normal.” She was in control.
“Okay, but meet me at 2pm. I have meetings until then. Oh, my wife has come home. Got to go.” He hung up the cell and put it in the brief case.
“Hello honey. Why didn’t you come. Everyone waited for you.” She was tall and red headed like Maureen O’ Hara and fiesta like her, as well.
“Too busy. I just got home.” He swirled the bourbon in the glass.
“Well, you should have called to let us know to eat without you. Is that bourbon? Are you drinking alone in the dark? That bad, huh?”She could interrogate with her lean body and red hair better than an FBI agent. “What could be so imperative to a family care doctor?”
He rolled his eyes at her sarcastic put-down of being only, in his mind, a family care doctor? Geez, what does a man have to do to get recognition and respect? Damn her.
Early the next day he got a call on the private cell. He was on his way to work and alone driving in the rain.
The informant female says, “It’s not a good idea to meet you at 2pm. Is there any way you could meet me now? Do you have the labs reports with you?”
“I have them with me. I’m close to work and have only a few extra minutes. Where?” He responded quickly.
“Park your car at the grocery and walk to the post office. Go through their backdoor. I’ll walk there and be there in ten minuets.” She hung up.
He was early that morning with thirty minutes to spare. So, this plan of hers would work. Driving the car to the grocery and parking it he then got out and walked as if he were going into the store, but he walked the sidewalk to the post office where the most office boxes were and walked out the back door. She was standing there in the rain.
“Well, come inside, out of the rain.” He insisted.
“Just let me have the results.” She put her hand out and he gave her the labs reports.
“If you have any questions call me later. I gotta go,” he said. There were people starting to come in and he felt unusually uncomfortable to the beautiful grandmother informant, Mrs. Smith. “What’s your real name by the way?”
She didn’t smile. “It’s not a game doctor. This is not a flirtatious meeting or coincidental rendezvous, understand?”
The young doctor had to check his emotions. She was right, he was feeling like this was a scandalous rendezvous and he was rather enjoying himself. He forgot this was a bazaar story about wild DNA and a weird woman. The mysterious excitement was taking him into a fantasy of types.
“You’ll need to watch your pheromones, doctor. This is serious. By the way, did you draw your labs?” She raised a doubting eyebrow at him.
“Yes, yes I did.” He retorted. People were coming into the post office. It was 8:05am. “I got to go. Late now. When my labs come in, I’ll call you.” He left in the rain from the front door and followed his path to the store and then his car. As far as he knew, no one saw him. He felt sneaky and ashamed for feeling flirtatious, for enjoying a life of increased adrenalin. He never felt that way before…
The young doctor went about his work and social functions and left the flirtatious misinterpretations behind. After all, Mrs. Smith was a grandmother and not a normal stereotypical woman who would be considered as a rendezvous for a primary care physician. So, he carried on as usual.
The grandmother informant, Mrs. Smith was about the business as usual, too. Only hers were menial and mundane while in the office. However, after 5pm, it was the usual adrenalin rush she had experienced since she was a child. Once in a while they would visit her at night. The clock usually said 3am or close. They were not consistently on time, but they gave a few minutes on either side of 3. However, she was older now and their visitation numbers and times to visit were fewer, thank God. She did believe in God or a supreme power. She had to believe because something always saved her from their grip.
It was for the reason of monetary purpose that the informant did astrological forecast for extra money and for the fact she loved astrology. She finished a woman’s chart who lived in Oregon and noticed intently that this woman had similar coordinates as herself. It was later in central time as Oregon so she called the woman for clarification. The phone rang and the woman picked up.
“Hello,” she said.
“Yes, hello,” the informant had a Southern drawl from being and living in The Bible Belt for so long. “This is Lottie the astrologer and I need to clarify your information, is now a good time?”
“Oh yes! Now is great.” The woman answered.
There are unusual themes in your astrological readings and I need to verify your birthdate and time of birth Is it 1952? And, were you born at 7:58Am in Portland, Oregon?” Lottie asked.
“Yes, that is correct.” The woman replied.
“Okay, good. So, I want to explain that in 1952, October 10th, The Constellation Ophiochus was arising in the Eastern sky. This is rare to occur and we know the zodiac has 12 houses, but in your case 13… Lottie waits for a response.
“Very insightful,” the woman replies. “Do go into more of this. I’ve never heard of a 13th house in The Zodiac.”
“Sagittarius is in the twelfth house and is also your ascendant and it is also sitting near the constellation Ophiochus or Asclepius . This would say you are a strong believer in a force much greater than most other men. Your Chiron is also near the ascendant and close to the constellation Asclepius and would indicate you are a healer. Are you a health employee?”
“Yes. I am a nurse.” The woman proudly answered.
“That would explain Ophiochus/Asclepius in your chart on the horizon at the time of your birth,” Lottie explained.
“I’m not aware of that name or custom.” The nurse responded.
“I’ll send it as a text. Look it up. The myth goes like this. The constellation on the horizon at the time of your birth would be in the eastern sky. Asclepius was then coming up or arisen. You could then, identify with the constellation as your birth home if you thought that we are all star children and connected spiritually. It is reported that Ophiochus/Asclepius is your DNA home or where your descendants came. You are from that Constellation and nearest star to you at the time of birth would be the home of the star that your family came. That is where your spirit came from, if you believed that’s a possibility and wanted to know more, there are references to this information.”
The woman closed down. She was somewhat shocked and refuting the ideas. “Oh, that’s silliness,” she responded and laughed. “That’s not feasible. No, can’t go there. I’m Christian and star children and aliens are not anything that I take any part of. Astrology is just fun. That’s why I did this reading with you. Can’t do the other.”
Lottie shut down, also. “Well, if you need me for future reading please contact me. You now have my number. She realized that she wasn’t going there and wasn’t interested. Perhaps frightened by the idea that we came from alien life forms.
“Well, good night Lottie,” she said her goodbyes.
“Goodnight.” And, Lottie hung up disappointed because the woman was clueless. She saw no reason to forward the woman any further any information.
Lottie, Mrs. Smith or the female informant sat on the couch thinking about the phone call with the woman in Portland. Recollecting their conversation it provoked dismay and anger because the woman said that her astrological read was indeed, “A joke between Christian friends who chose the same birthday and decided together to do a test. They would send the same birth information to three of four astrologers to see if they all came up with the same natal horoscope.”
Lottie had explained to the woman, “I don’t use computer generated charts and interpretations. My interpretations are original and I personally sift through the data the information provided.”
This didn’t impress the woman in Portland. The woman was certain that all of the reports were simply conjured from “a demon.”
Lottie was disappointed, but she went on and gave it any more thoughts.
The thunder came again. Lottie lost power in her home. She lit candles. It was soon to be her birthday. She too was from Asclepius. It was on the eastern horizon at the time of her birth.
She thought about the doctor and his birthday. “Could his birthday say the same. How could I get his birth information without seeming bizarre? After all, the doctor was living in The Bible Belt and he may hold the same belief system as the woman in Portland? Well, he already thinks I’m bizarre enough. It can’t hurt anymore to ask.”
The thunder boomed overhead. It shook the house. I hate nights like this.
Lottie hated nights like this one because they, whomever they are, would sometimes pay her a visit and since she was on a quest to find information and other human victims were more than likely angry with her. For these reasons she feared they would come, Lottie expected them soon, possibly tonight. There was no absolute telling about their arrival except it would be between 2 and 3AM.
Lotto’s adrenalin was high. She felt it rising. She had to work in the morning and knew with her norepinephrine this high, sleep would be hard to fall into. She took a Xanax and used the dose by a half.
She marveled at the coincidence of having an appointment with the young doctor. The previous doctor moved out of town and for this reason she was absorbed into the new young doctors patient list. The first appointment two years prior she had with him was normal, and without any odd or strange feelings. He was a doctor and there was no signs or odd occurrences that pointed to any connections with him. Lottie thought about the first time she had an eyebrow raising experience with him.
It was when she had her second appointment to see him. He neared her to listen to her chest, suddenly a vibrational shock happened, they both felt and jumped. They blamed it on static electricity. However, Lottie saw it differently, but she drew no conclusions or conjured anything from her imagination. But he had something else that captivated her. His eyes. They were blue and sometimes green and the pupils changed rapidly. The way he glanced at her for a split second, his pupils and her own met. It was hard to explain to a normal person. It was not flirtatious or romantic by any means. No, it was like two railcars latching together conjoining to become one. Clink. She felt it. They matched. Another piece of the puzzle had been found. Lottie was certain that the young doctor was the one. Could his birth have the same coordinates as hers and since he was a doctor would certainly be interesting to investigate. If he was also born with Ophiochus on the horizon than this could only mean that he is the link, the one person who would help her. After all, he would be helping himself and his children. Asclepius would be his origins. The Serpent Bearer, the healer.
She knew she was imaginative and had to check on occasion, if things were real, or psychotic. Not once had she been diagnosed with psychosis, but when psychologist and doctors examined her, they simply said, “It’s in your imagination. You’re quite creative, aren’t you?”
She had to agree with them on the creative description. That is a fact. She was imaginative, but high levels of norepinephrine could usher epinephrine synergistically. Her mind was going that night, all of the what if’s, could be this or that, and so forth, had her in a whirlwind. The Xanax Thank God was kicking in… Her mind began to slow down and she went to her bedroom, took her clothes off, laid in bed and drifted off to the land of no thoughts or adrenalin. She loved that place.
The thundered rolled all night. Though it was now distant, it still reverberated the small house.
Lottie slept soundly, snoring in and out with the cool breeze of October. Her windows had opened and she was not startled, nor moved. Sleeping as soundly as one could, she had no cares. No lights were on and only shadows from the lightening and trees danced on her walls. This never frightened Lottie as she was use to terrifying images and these were natural and she hadn’t a care about how they played out violent themes on her walls or had ghost faces appearing in the mirages of shadows. The images carried on as she slept undisturbed.
Standing tall, hidden in the corner an entity stood, watching her. No facial expressions it had and time was of no concern by the looks of the thing. Its finger arose from its side cloaked in a black robe and it pointed at the clock. Time stopped then as she slept.
Bright lights everywhere. Not Earthly, by any means, they illuminated the cold metallic room, as she laid on a slate slab. Cold with vapor rising, humidifying the room, Lottie opened her eyes. She knew this place all too well, it was a place of torture and a place of hell. She screamed, “NO!” Paralyzed without restraints, as usual, and her mouth muzzled by invisible sources, her screams were not heard by anyone or anything. She hoped God heard her and would send angels to free her. Eyes were wide open, breathing in and out through her nose, she looked around as far as her peripheral vision could go, she felt movement, and from ten feet or more she saw shadows.
This time there were no instruments used on her body, no sounds that broke her ear drums, there was filling the space of tall figures of whom she saw no faces. They surrounded the slate slab where she laid, and permeated her body with mental messages. Threatening her to stop her investigations, to stop visits with the doctor. They showed her the room next to her as the walls separating vanished and in the next room were two children. The children of the doctors, lay.
My soulmate is a pilgrim,
He explores the zodiac’s constellations
Not always in our own Milky Way, he treks
His journeys enlighten mankind
Because he aims his bow hunting faith in Sagittarius
And swims with emotional artestry in Pisces
He judges mankind with Libran scales
As he admires beauty while visitingTaurus
By Capricorn he calculates the distances to travel
With Gemini he knows about all the heavens
In Aquarius he will always be courageous and cool
While adventuring The Scorpio Moon, my soulmate tells no secrets
Because he is a man of Aries who has great self worth
His mother The Virgin he humbly thanks
The Cancer crab brings him home again
He enters Earth as Leo the lion
That time occured when Regulus in retrograde circled Jupiter
Then, Jupiter conjoined Venus
Making it event the brightest lights in all heaven
So the Maggi would find the divine child
My soulmate is that deity
He rides on the tail of the comets.
One day he will come again
And he, my friend, does not lie.
© #Bojenn 2015 All Rights Reserved
The young woman tells the final story. Her last chapter is complete.
“Darkness covered the room. At midnight, the chimes from the grandfather clock resounded a deep, “dong, dong, dong, and dong.”
“The clock didn’t awaken me. The chimes never do, but I always expect them, the others, that is. They’re, always, right on time. It’s their, time to come. I sense it. Like an odor, or breeze or an internal alarm that warns me.
Her mature voice shifts. It changes into a young girls. Under the covers, the seven year old hides. She says that she shivers in fear and dread while they, the male beings, occupy her bedroom.
“Maybe, they won’t notice, that I’m awake. They usually don’t, but one night, they might. What then? What should I do?” She asks.
I don’t know what to tell her. I’ve never had them visit. There are no solutions to help her. I wonder if she is being sexually assaulted? I listen, but there is no mention of touching or fondling, not even a kiss. So, I wait. My antenna will know the moment I should question.
Her eyes are huge. I see she is telling the truth.
“The beats of my heart will surely tell the black cloaked monks, I’m faking sleep.” She sighs and looks up at me with the saucer shaped eyes.
“They enter my bedroom, from out of the closet. Twelve, midnight, when the clock dongs, I know, they are coming. The leaves from the forest that surround our home have shimmering grey colors that seem to dance like stick indians on my bedroom walls. The images fervently sway in madness of movements. I know then, to expect, the friars. And, as certain, as fall follows summer, they will come. Three, of them, usually.” She pauses, then`
“Sometimes four, walk out of my closet from behind the doors.” She whispers with downcast eyes when she tells this story.
“They are extremely tall. They’re working doing, something. My bed covers over my head, cloak their activities. They will peer over my body, looking to see me sleeping. They don’t know everything. But, if I look at them, their red eyes stare. I can’t see a face. They tell me to, ‘shut up.’ Meaness. That’s all I can say. They’re no good.”
I look at her. Dumbfounded. Hopelessly, there is nothing, I can say. After the hypnosis session, she passed the polygraph, which she agreed to, and I don’t know how to help her. What can I say?
Standing up to leave my office, she adds on her way out ~
“Doctor, the last time they tried to visit, I give them this look. They no longer bother me. And, now, that I’ve got their look, they seldom pay me, social calls….”
She gave me a haunting stare that passed through me.
“Oh, by the way, doctor … you may want to get rid of the grand father clock in your hall. It keeps your children up. They can’t sleep after the gongs at midnight occur.”
What? I look at her, but she has shut the door. After a brief pause, I ran after her, but she was gone. Bewildered by her last comment, I was paralyzed. Fear overtook me, as I saw the same look on my son this morning.